update on an old thread about an ex-bf wanting "benefits"

[depechemodefan]

Original post: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=59046

So I finally got tested for std and I'm clean. Yah!

I"m still in contact with the ex, though. Did I mention he converted to my religion about 3 years ago? I figured he did that to be more appealing to me. He wanted me to be his sponser and I told him "no". But he converted and he keeps on asking me if I go to church and he will tell me things on facebook like, "I didn't go to church today, maybe next Sunday."

I really don't have a good way to tell him to bug off. Sometimes I tell him "I don't think we can be friends or a couple," and he will say "what?!? forget it," but then contact me latter to know if I want to go out to eat. I will tell him "no" several times and he keeps on asking "why not?" and I tell him he wants a relationship when I don't. Then he contacts me again wanting to go out to eat.

I'm really bad at sticking to my guns, though. Not like he was is superfun, but we like the same stuff like Star Wars and Star Trek.

[Greenday]

I like Star Wars. Talk to me!

It's just not worth it. The best way is to just block people. It makes getting over them a lot easier since you never see them or anything.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Way to hit on a girl, Greenday.

[MaggieTheCat]

I had a similar problem, sort of, with a guy once. We dated for a brief period, I fell really hard for him and then he broke up with me suddenly. But we would occasionally hook up and both be (or at least, he seemed) really happy, and then he'd disappear for months and I wouldn't hear hear from him. This cycle went on and on for a couple of years, I kept forgiving him because I loved him and wanted to give him another chance. Finally I blocked him on AIM, FB, removed his number from my cell phone, etc. He tried to contact me once a few years ago, before I was married, to try and get me to come back to him. I told him no, I haven't heard from him since.

I do miss him, a lot, even though I am married and very happy to be with my husband. Sometimes I think about contacting my ex and seeing if we could be friends. But I know it just wouldn't work out. It'd all blow up in our faces and no one would be happy. So keeping him off all of my contact lists entirely is the best and easiest way to make sure it doesn't become an issue.

[Princess J]

Original post: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=59046
I really don't have a good way to tell him to bug off.

You don't need one. He needs to respect your wishes which as far as I can tell he isn't doing, witness the constant bugging you to go out.

[Seshat]

I really don't have a good way to tell him to bug off.

Try "bug off".

Seriously. This guy has repeatedly ignored your stated wishes. He's repeatedly refused to accept a 'no' from you.

If he's doing that NOW... that's nasty and scary and horrible.

So. "Bug off". Then block him. And if he continues, go look up the 'stalker'/'harassment' sticky thread.

[Rapscallion]

Benefits are supposed to work both ways.

Rapscallion

[Victory Sabre]

Is he worth the possibility of getting herpes?

From your post, and the previous one, I doubt it. Block him online, and ignore his calls. You can do better.

[tropicsgoddess]

When I dumped my ex-bf S for my fiance J back in '03, S never got the hint after I told him to bug off until he sent me a email and J gave him a scathing reply and since then he finally got the hint to quit being a bugaboo. Your ex is being an idiot and he's in dire need of a clue by four. Block him from your IM's, facebook, twitter, emails and delete him from your phone. He's not worth your time AT ALL!

[depechemodefan]

Is he worth the possibility of getting herpes?

I havn't had sex with him since sept. 2009. Sometimes I do think, "I want to have sex, I feel sexy." Then I remember that I didn't enjoy the sex. I'm not saying he was abusive, like make me go down on him and not let me stop until he was happy. It was just something that did not get me off. So I keep on remembering, "no, not worth the sex," whenever he asked for sex and I wasn't in the mood.

One funny thing, I can't remember if I mentioned this. Back when we were dating in 1997, I came to his house and he ignored me. I kept on calling him and finally we were dating again. I was confused by what he did but months latter I realized he might have been tryihng to dump me, but without saying anything to me about dumping me.

Also, recently he has been coming to my house. We would watch movies, then he would head to the movie tavern by my house to meet a friend. He kept on telling me I should go, to get out of the house, but I kept on saying no. About 2 weeks ago he asked to borrow 15 bucks. At first I only found $13, then I remembered I had a stash of cash and I gave him a $20. He invited me and my mom for fourth of july bbq with his family and said he would pay me back that time. But I told him on the 4th I wasn't going. So far he hasn't paid me back, which in a way doesn't bother me because I'm going to dangle that over his head. Childish, but sometimes I can be.

[Dilorenzo]

Yeah, this guy doesn't sound to me like someone you need as a friend, never mind anything else. From what I've read it sounds like he's just using you, what with not paying you back and not filling up your truck.

[Zellie Crescent]

From everything you've said this guy is toxic, cut him out of your life, you deserve WAY better.

[taxguykarl]

Yeah, this guy doesn't sound to me like someone you need as a friend, never mind anything else. From what I've read it sounds like he's just using you, what with not paying you back and not filling up your truck.

Dilorenzo may be right--sounds like someone desperate for a booty call. Ignore him and he'll go away.