Am I overreacting?

[dragon_wings]

Damn. So sorry for your loss. Many many hugs from me.

[iradney]

And if she doesn't listen, then you know exactly where you stand with her. I'm sorry, but a mother who reacts that way to her daughter crying over someone she loved dying might have issues that no-one can help with. My Mom is a very stoic person, but if I was upset over something, she wouldn't belittle me for, you know, having feelings.

[Food Lady]

What everyone else said. I'm sorry you had to go through this, and that your mom's emotionally stunted. But you don't have to be.

[42_42_42]

your mother's reaction to death is abnormal, yours is normal.

(((hugs)))

[Jester]

your mother's reaction to death is abnormal, yours is normal.

Not necessarily true.

Different people react to death and tragedy differently. Some people may even shut down emotionally and get snarky with people who show their emotions. It's possible that her mother is such a person.

Or she could just be a callous bitch.

[Seraph]

Well...uh....I was going to confront her.

Literally, the day I finally got my courage up, she called me crying. Looks like my grandpa isn't doing well...so I decided to just wait until later to talk to her about it. I ended up just sitting down with her and letting her talk out about some rough things going on in her life right now. Which, I suspect may have something to do with the way she acted. I'm even wondering if the same went on back then. She may indeed just be unable to cope with so much going on, and shuts down her feelings to prevent herself from being more upset.

I know its probably going to earn me some whacks with a newspaper, but yeah....not going to talk to her about it right now. <sigh> Just don't want to hit her while she's already down, you know?

[Shangri-laschild]

Just don't want to hit her while she's already down, you know?

Additionally, right now she is unlikely to be receptive or anything other than defensive to the point of not hearing what you say if you bring it up. Try to bring it up eventually but I can see why you don't want to right now.

[Dilorenzo]

Can't say that's exactly a bad plan. But I'd still recommend you do it, at some point.

[Seshat]

No newspaper whacks for being compassionate, nor for timing a discussion for when the person who needs it might be receptive.

[Jester]

I know its probably going to earn me some whacks with a newspaper, but yeah....not going to talk to her about it right now. <sigh> Just don't want to hit her while she's already down, you know?

Hopefully not from anyone here. After all, you were complaining about her not being receptive to your pain, about her being inconsiderate, and you are delaying the talk because you ARE being receptive to her pain, and you ARE being considerate. How could we fault you for that?

No newspaper whacks for being compassionate, nor for timing a discussion for when the person who needs it might be receptive.

I should point out that, while it is laudable that Seraph is being compassionate, oftentimes there is no good time for a non-receptive person to be receptive. To paraphrase Captain Jack Sparrow, don't keep on waiting for the opportune moment, as it may never come.

[Seshat]

A valid point, Jester.

Sometimes, however, there are moments that are more non-opportune than others.

[Seraph]

I should point out that, while it is laudable that Seraph is being compassionate, oftentimes there is no good time for a non-receptive person to be receptive. To paraphrase Captain Jack Sparrow, don't keep on waiting for the opportune moment, as it may never come.

That *has* crossed my mind. <.< Definitely going to keep a hawk's eye out for one, though. Or at the very least, a not-so-bad time.

[Jester]

Sometimes, however, there are moments that are more non-opportune than others.

Oh, absolutely. My point being simply that Seraph should not keep waiting for the PERFECT time. Eventually this conversation needs to happen. Clearly right now is not the time, considering what just happened, but waiting until the perfect time would be a huge mistake. That was my only point.