My Dog.

[Miss_Stress]

He's 16 in January, and he's had a good life. However, he now has a heart murmur that is causing him to cough. He is appallingly thin, to the point where you can see his hip bones, yet he has plenty of food. He is going to the toilet in the house because he doesn't realise he needs to go until it's too late to ask. He can barely see, and is unsteady on his feet.

I also think he has CCD - Canine Cognitive Dysfunction, aka Doggy Dementia. He is pacing for hours on end, weaving his way through furniture instead of going round it, sitting and staring into corners, and he cannot obey a command for more than a few seconds before resuming his pacing. Despite this, when we enter rooms he is pleased to see us, and he seems quite happy.

I think we ought to be having discussions with the vet about his future. My mum disagrees as she believes he is having more good days than bad. However, my father gets frustrated with him and more often than not spends an hour a day at least shouting at him.

Can anyone offer any advice as to what to do?

[Chanlin]

Putting down a pet is a tough choice.

My family decided to have our 14 yo dog put to sleep 3 years ago. Granted our situation was slightly different. He had been bitten by a larger animal (dog, coyote or the like) and got really sick because of it. The vet gave him a shot and some meds, but he never improved and was suffering so we decided to have him put to sleep.

It sounds like your mom is very attached. In any case, this is something those of you responsible for caring for the pet should discuss with your vet. I sympathize with your dad in some respects. I miss my dog greatly, but on the other hand it wasn't until after he was dead I realized how much work it was taking care of him.

[Greenday]

Sounds kinda similar for my cocker spaniel that we had. She vision faded, she'd start to bark at stuff that wasn't there. Loss of bladder control. It was rough. There really wasn't anything we could do. She had heart problems and such at the end.

My older beagle (probably around 8 years old) jumped off my sister's bed the other day and tore his ACL. Has to have surgery on it. My sister's bed is just too high for him to jump off of anymore.

Always tough dealing with pets that have been around so long. They really are a part of the family. Good luck with your dog!

[Miss_Stress]

Thank you both we've had quite a bad night with him. My dad was up at 2am with him, and my mum got up at 4:30am to let him into the garden because he was crying for the toilet. He started crying again about quarter to 7, so me and my mum got up to him, only to find that he'd poo'd in the house and managed to walk it all through the house. He'd done this despite being let into the garden 2 hours earlier.

It isn't the mess that upsets me, it's the fact he can't control his toilet behaviour anymore. It's like he just goes where he stands, because by the time he realises he has to go, it's too late for him to ask.

[Seshat]

That's probably distressing him, as well. (The dog, I mean.) He knows that he's soiling his den, he knows he's being a Bad Dog. He just can't help it.

From this far away, it's an easy decision: put him down. Lovingly and gently, but put him down.

But I'm not there. I'm not one of his people. I haven't spent sixteen years loving him. It has to be your family's decision, and it's a damned hard one.

[MaggieTheCat]

Agreed, the best course of action from an outside perspective right now is to put him down. Quality if life is just diminishing, and it isn't going to get better. Think about it this way: You have a wonderful, loving companion who you know to be a great dog. Do you want to care for him for a few months, a year, several years while his health declines, and have those be your last memories of him? Or do you want to remember him as the great dog that he was?

I know it's hard. My parents and I had a dog while I was growing up who was just...the best damn dog you could hope for. He was a retriever/lab mix and he got arthritis and hip problems as he got older. It was so hard when we decided to put him down, but winter was just starting and he couldn't walk. He was laying out in the middle of our yard, while it was snowing, getting covered in snow and unable to move. We still talk about him and I still cry and miss him, but it was the right choice to make. It would have been an extremely hard winter for him that year and he was unhappy, we could tell.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. It's a terrible decision to have to make.

[blas]

I'm so sorry your doggy isn't doing well

It's heartbreaking when our pets get that old and start suffering the same way older people do.

Bear, our 12 year old lab retriever, is starting to "slow down" a bit herself. She only had one real accident lately, a few weeks ago we found a small turd on the carpet, but we kind of think she might not have wiggled enough when she last went out, because she's still very good about going to the bathroom.

Her vision has always been kind of bad because of a bad vet when she was younger, but it's really starting to show that she's having a hard time with depth perception. Thankfully, she has a good sniffer, so she always knows where someone or something is. She's had stiff joints and moves slowly, but if there's food around, she'll get up in a hurry.

It hurts the heart to see an animal you've been with for so many years struggle Two springs ago, we lost our almost 15 year old tortie kitty, FatCat. I literally grew up with that cat, having her since age 8. To this day, I still have a hard time thinking about her. The tears just come without thought.

Whatever you decide, I wish you and your doggy the best. This is one of the hardest things about being a pet owner

[Miss_Stress]

Thanks Seshat, Maggie and Blas. I think my mum's starting to accept that he's struggling to cope, and that the kindest thing would be to put him down. She keeps saying "well he's still having good days", but to me that's not a justification for him having to live with pain and a complete lack of bladder control. He's peed in the house today in the 5 minutes I was outside. It can't continue.

[kansasgal]

I know what you are going through, we are dealing with it ourselves with our cocker spaniel. It took me a couple of weeks to realize that her quality of life is diminishing and it is time to let her go, hardest decision a pet owner could make.

Hugs and good thoughts sent your way.

[Miss_Stress]

Thanks Kansasgal, it is really hard since I last posted he's messed in the house...right in front of me. He never asked or anything he just went. The house is starting to smell. I know he can't help it but if he's not peeing he's pooing or being sick.

[Seshat]

Talk to your local pharmacist, or go online and look at 'incontinence supplies'. There's at least one cleaning product that I use on my washable supplies that I ALSO use when our animals have an accident, and to clean the dog's piddle pads.

It's even better and more effective than anything we've had from pet stores or pet suppliers.

<checks the package> Oooh! They have a website! http://www.urinefree.com.au/

I know this one's Aussie-made and shipping to the American continents, Europe, Africa, or parts of Asia not close to us is likely to be expensive: your pharmacist may stock a local equivalent.

For Aussies and NZ folk: I put a capful in the 'fabric softener' slot of the washing machine, instead of fabric softener, when washing urine-marked fabrics. For carpets or flooring, just follow the instructions on the bottle (or the website). For us, it works wonderfully. You can hold one of the clean piddle pads right to your nose and not smell anything other than clean-fabric smell. (Well. Clean-but-old-towel smell. )

Miss_Stress: a product like this one is likely to be able to make your house smell 'normal' again.

[Miss_Stress]

Seshat thank you I'll show my mum tonight and see if she wants to get some.

[Seshat]

You're most welcome.

I know it's no help for the emotional aspect of the situation; but hopefully it'll help with some of the practical side.