What to do in this situation?

[Seshat]

On a more positive note, Daughter is off spending two weeks doing her mandatory yearly obligation for the Military. We can only hope that some time with her Unit will help to get rid of some of the brainwashing DB has done to her.

Her military buddies and her sargeant know about the situation?

Then IF anything can be done in two weeks of absence, chances are it will. And yes, time away from him is the best thing for her.

[Primer]

Been there, done that. You don't say how old daughter is now. I found that the older I got, the wiser my mother got (until just a few years ago). It took me a hell of a long time to get out of what I knew was an abusive situation.

Since DB is a confirmed drug dealer, would it be possible to get the police to step in?

Good luck!!

[Zellie Crescent]

Since DB is a confirmed drug dealer, would it be possible to get the police to step in?

I was thinking this too, put his ass in jail.

[lachesis]

Not much to report - haven't heard hide nor hair from Daughter since she's cut off from phone/internet while out-of-town with her unit. She won't be back until next week and Mother is trying to keep herself sane by not wanting to talk about it while the house is empty of shenanigans.

To answer questions: Daughter is 22. DB is 25.

Some military buddies know the situation. Two of her former sargeants know the situation. Mother keeps in close contact with one of them and to be honest, his hands are tied. There's nothing he can do to stop her from what she's doing unless she did something drastic like not show up for duty or something.

DB may be a known drug dealer, but there is no way to prove it. DB is also tight friends with the Defendant in Mother's case. This makes it that much more complicated. In addition, Defendant is a drug dealer as well and both he and DB are part of some kind of gang or group of 20-something hooligans who cause trouble and give the neighborhood a bad name.

The neighbors are scared to testify on behalf of Mother for fear of their families welfare. The tire slashing came at a very convenient time to blame Defendant, but it cannot be proven. Nor can proving the drug dealer connection. It's all speculation in the eyes of the law unless we set up a private investigator ourselves.

Daughter has been to therapy due to the PTSD she developed while being overseas. She's seen multiple doctors and therapists and it's confirmed she has damage to her brain (she was on the front lines as a combat medic). Part of the problem is that Mother is blaming some of the behavior on her medical problems. The other part is that DAUGHTER is using this to get away with a lot too. She's always been coddled, but her actions have been majorly outrageous thus far.

All this is just the frosting on the cupcake, so to speak. She is trying to see how much she can get away with and how far she can stretch a person's patience. She's even talked about how much she is trying to get out of the military on a medical discharge when before she was dating DB, she joined another unit in addition to her own for a better chance of getting deployed again.

Everyone I've talked to IRL have all said the same thing - she will come back to us when she hits rock bottom and learns the hard way. Some people just need to have the sense knocked into them and then they'll see just how much they screwed up.

[lachesis]

It's been over a month and finally I have enough of an update to post about. Some of it good... some of it not so much.

Roughly a week and a half after Daughter came back from her mandatory two week obligation, she changed her fb status from "engaged" to "it's complicated". Two days after that, the status changed again from "it's complicated" to "single".

I did an internal dance of joy!! But of course, that's not the end of the story, is it?

Daughter's reasoning for breaking off the engagement was because DB said some really derogatory things to her one night and she'd had enough. This is kind of funny (not in a funny haha way but funny WTF way) because DB had said many derogatory things to her and about her a lot of times before this and she always brushed them off. What brought her to action this time around? Hmmm...

What Mother thinks is that the engagement was an inconvenience to Daughter at that very moment in time despite her constant statements of "I'm in LUUURRRVVVVEEE with him!!" Who shows up next in Mother's home? Some dude I'll call NG (New Guy). It had been two days since she broke it off with DB.

NG is in Daughter's unit. He has lovely home with a few acres of land on it near his parents who are possibly lovely people as well. He has a young daughter (1-2 years?) from a one night stand that he has stood up for and sees on a regular basis. I've met him and he is an extremely polite and genial man and so far everyone likes him.

It seemed that this turn around with Daughter wasn't long lived. On Easter Sunday she dropped the biggest bombshell that could have been dropped.

She's pregnant.

DB is the father. Mother is devastated. Daughter's older brother (Son) broke down crying at the news. Mother is determined to get Daughter out of the house now. She's been bringing boxes home and putting them in Daughter's room. She says that she is refusing to raise this baby. She simply cannot and will not support the decision Daughter has made and June 1st is the move out date whether Daughter wants it or not.

Annnnd that's all I have until next time.