I need some help & advice for my sister :(

[Zellie Crescent]

*Sarah is on her knees begging for help* Jamie has this friend Brian who has recently gotten back in touch with her after some years, he's getting married soon but yet he's flirting like a whore with Jamie, even asking her to dinner and for drinks. One night he even asked her if she was gonna be nice and be quiet while he lied to his fieance about where he was, cut to 2 hours ago Jamie says she doesn't give a shit "I don't fucking know her, I don't fucking care. If he's talking to me she deserves to get cheated on!" My sister has made some really bad fucked up decisions before, but this is really serious, please help me prevent my sister from becoming a whore.

[Lachrymose]

I'm sorry to say this, but if she honestly believes the line she told you, there's really nothing you can do short of physically restraining her.

[Aethian]

Why not ask her to put herself in the fiancee's shoes...I can not believe anyone would knowingly do that to another.

[csquared]

If he's talking to me she deserves to get cheated on!

What your sister fails to realize is that she is also being cheated on (and by her definition, deserves it), as it sounds like Brian has no intention of leaving fiancée. Unfortunately, I don't think your sister can be helped, until she realizes the flaw in her logic.

Do the fiancée a favor. Let her know.

[Zellie Crescent]

I tried doing that, she told me she has been cheated on by all of her boyfriends except Laurens father so she belives it's her turn not to care. I asked her what if it was you or me in her position, or Bill in Brians position. She said it's her not me or you and if it was one of us the guys we were with wouldn't be worth even a look from us so I asked her what about if it was the opposite and she said it would be a one time thing and if not who cares, and if the guys don't like it they know where the door is. I told her she would be ruining the girls life she said she didn't care. Please help me, what can I do to get her to think straight and not be an evil slut?

[Lachrymose]

How old is your sister?

[Zellie Crescent]

24 and I tried to find a way to somehow contact the shitbags fiance but with no luck. She told me that I better not tell anyone or else she'll never trust me again and never speak to me again, I told her if shes stupid enough to fuck him then shes just a dirty whore. She told me not to judge her that the last thing she needs right now is my stupid fucking judgements, and never to call her a whore again that if I ever called her that again she'd hit me in the face and that I should mind my own buisness even though I never asked for information she just gave it. She told me in the begining when this guy first came back she never wanted to end up being "one of those girls" and now this guy is moving 5-6 minutes away for his job but still, this whole thing sucks.

[Aethian]

Step back, take a breath, and kick your sister from your life. You don't need all this stress. You are not her keeper.

Besides if she doesn't want to be called a whore she shouldn't be acting like one.

[Pixilated]

I tried doing that, she told me she has been cheated on by all of her boyfriends except Laurens father so she belives it's her turn not to care. I asked her what if it was you or me in her position, or Bill in Brians position. She said it's her not me or you and if it was one of us the guys we were with wouldn't be worth even a look from us so I asked her what about if it was the opposite and she said it would be a one time thing and if not who cares, and if the guys don't like it they know where the door is. I told her she would be ruining the girls life she said she didn't care. Please help me, what can I do to get her to think straight and not be an evil slut?

Sarah, I'm sorry, but if your sister is 24, the other posters here are right. Your sister is making a very bad decision but it is her decision and there's nothing you can do to stop her. You have obviously tried a wide variety of tactics to get her to see what she's doing to the fiancee and what she's doing to herself. From her responses I'd say she's very well aware of exactly what she's doing.

You are NOT responsible for what she does. She is. Don't try to make her problems your own, because that is a road with no end.

[Greenday]

She told me not to judge her that the last thing she needs right now is my stupid fucking judgements, and never to call her a whore again

Then perhaps she shouldn't be a whore if she doesn't want people to judge her as a whore?

Sorry, but your sister is a crap friend and doesn't deserve your help in covering it up.

[MoonCat]

Ditto everything Pixilated said. You can't stop your sister from doing anything. Don't put yourself in a position where she can physically attack you. That's over the line, she has no right to do that.

If it's possible to sit down with her in a calm, neutral setting, you might ask her why she's treating herself like this. It shows a lack of respect for herself as well as for this man's fiancee. The guy is using your sister, and sad to say, he's treating her like a whore.

But if she's not willing to discuss it, drop it. Don't get into a fight. She'll have to learn the hard way.

[Zellie Crescent]

I really feel bad for this girl though, I know my sister is friends with this asshole on facebook so I thought I'd look him up to get acces to his fiances page to try to warn her but with no luck. I know that sounds a little extreme but if I was in her shoes (hopefully never) I would want someone to tell me! Besides Lauren is almost 4 years old and so far over the last almost year and a half Jamie has not been a good role model, she tries to hide the shit she does but I just want all this to stop I want my sister back.

[Lachrymose]

I know you do. *hugs* (small consolation, I know. About the best I can do though.)

[Zellie Crescent]

I have an update

So yesterday an hour after she told me all that shit then rushed out the door for work I made my facebook post, a little while after that I started this thread here asking you all for help and advice. About 2 hours ago she told me she saw my facebook post and knew I was talking about her. Me and Jamie just got done yelling/ talking to eachother and you were right shitbag is talking to Jamie's best friend Bianca, while they were both at work yesterday so now she is pissed as hell at him and is going to talk to his fiance. She told me that if he even looks at her she's gonna tell him he should just kill himself, I just hope that this at least somewhat wakes her up.

[PepperElf]

you were right shitbag is talking to Jamie's best friend Bianca, while they were both at work yesterday so now she is pissed as hell at him

Maybe I'm reading this wrong but it sounds like shitbag is flirting with someone else too, and it has your sister mad?

which brings to mind your sister's own quote...

If he's talking to me she deserves to get cheated on!

This is why it's a bad decision to go with a cheater. Cos when the tables are turned, it's no longer fun times.