I need some help & advice for my sister :(

[Jester]

Just because he has connections doesn't mean those connections would approve of his actions.

He has shown himself to not have any personal affection for honesty. Why would he actually tell those people the truth?

Yeah. I can't see his "friends in high places" going, "Oh, sure, OK" when he explains to them why he doesn't want your sister to be accepted ... and even if he has the brains to make up something a little more acceptable, they'd still want proof, not one person's word...

Not necessarily. If he has these people's trust (and why wouldn't a manipulator have the unwarranted truth of those he's deceived into trusting him?), he might be very convincing in his lie, and it might simply be something subtle, like "Oh, you might want to be careful hiring her....I hear she's into the nose candy." Or "yeah, I've dealt with her before, and she's a drama queen...be careful."

You might think this is far-fetched, but it's really not. An example of this is my management at my bar. If someone I know is a douchebag comes in and applies and my managers ask me about them, I'll give them my honest opinion. And since they value my opinion, they will usually not hire the offending douchebag.

Yes, I tell the truth, but Shitbag doesn't, and if they THINK he does, sometimes that's all it takes, especially if they have other equally qualified candidates for the position. The basic frame of mind is "Why bother with candidate A with baggage when candidate B doesn't have any baggage we know of." Whether or not there is any baggage. See, people often take the path of least resistance.

By the way, I am not in any way defending Shitbag's actions or potential future actions in all this. I am merely pointing out what could happen. Personally, I think the sister should just wash her hands of this dirtbag, as there are other jobs out there (and hopefully the people hiring at this school wouldn't just take this guy's word on something), but if she is determined not to, well, what are you going to do?

[PepperElf]

One other idea.

If she really can't "cut him off" without being punished... she needs to ONLY be around him when she's not alone. Not even a minute or two alone with him - no alone time whatsoever.

It may be hard for him to hit on her if he never gets her alone.


And if he tries to sext her then... he's creating evidence of his behavior. although if she responds with her own sexting... such evidence could backfire in her face

[Pixilated]

*snip*
If he has these people's trust (and why wouldn't a manipulator have the unwarranted truth of those he's deceived into trusting him?), he might be very convincing in his lie, and it might simply be something subtle, like "Oh, you might want to be careful hiring her....I hear she's into the nose candy." Or "yeah, I've dealt with her before, and she's a drama queen...be careful."

You might think this is far-fetched, but it's really not. An example of this is my management at my bar. If someone I know is a douchebag comes in and applies and my managers ask me about them, I'll give them my honest opinion. And since they value my opinion, they will usually not hire the offending douchebag.

Yes, I tell the truth, but Shitbag doesn't, and if they THINK he does, sometimes that's all it takes, especially if they have other equally qualified candidates for the position. The basic frame of mind is "Why bother with candidate A with baggage when candidate B doesn't have any baggage we know of." Whether or not there is any baggage. See, people often take the path of least resistance.

By the way, I am not in any way defending Shitbag's actions or potential future actions in all this. I am merely pointing out what could happen. Personally, I think the sister should just wash her hands of this dirtbag, as there are other jobs out there (and hopefully the people hiring at this school wouldn't just take this guy's word on something), but if she is determined not to, well, what are you going to do?

*sigh* I concede the point, Jester. It didn't occur to me that, if he has the ear of higher-ups, they too might not see him for what he really is and might take his "warnings" seriously. But you are right, it's not impossible.

[Jester]

Pixilated, not only is it possible, it happens all the time, when the wrong person has the ear of those in charge, for whatever reason. It's sad, it sucks, but it's reality.

But all of this is moot, as Sister seems determined to not only put up with this guy but just about sleep with him to get what she wants. Or at least she was willing to do. No matter how bad the guy is, no matter what he can or cannot do to her with those that he may or may not have connections with really don't matter if she's not trying to get away from him, which apparently, she is not.

[Andara Bledin]

If he has is threatening her with abusing his power to hurt her career chances, why not cut him off at the pass and talk to the people he would end up dealing with regarding him committing textbook sexual extortion?

Most people believe the first thing they hear - not necessarily the truth.

^-.-^

[Jester]

The potential problem with that, Andara, is that if these people do know Shitbag and are friendly with him, but don't know the OP or her sister well or at all, they may completely disbelieve anything the OP or her sister may say to them about Shitbag, especially if he is an accomplished Manipulator, which I think is likely.

[tropicsgoddess]

Red alert! If your sister is trying to become a teacher, she needs to be careful about what she does and even who she associates herself with. These days the schools take that into high consideration. She needs to cut ties with Mr.Shitbag for sure and report his ass if he dares to pull any shit on her. If she really wants to be a teacher, she should network that actually have the skinny on getting in a teaching job or even better the connections. Frankly I call bullshit on Mr.Shitbag's claims on his connections and power.

[Zellie Crescent]

Update!

Jamie has been talking to a guy named John that she met one day when she was on lunch, she went out to have a couple drinks with him and her friends and they've been talking and texting. She told me that when her, Lauren, and her friends, shitbag and fiance all went to the beach that shitbag kept trying to ignore fiance and talk/get close to Jamie, and kept trying to shoo Lauren away. She didn't like that one bit, she told him either you respect my kid or fuck off. He didn't like that and walked away Jamie found out a little while later he didn't feel good so he left and went home. I just hope that this means this shit is finally over.

[tropicsgoddess]

Jamie has been talking to a guy named John that she met one day when she was on lunch, she went out to have a couple drinks with him and her friends and they've been talking and texting. She told me that when her, Lauren, and her friends, shitbag and fiance all went to the beach that shitbag kept trying to ignore fiance and talk/get close to Jamie, and kept trying to shoo Lauren away. She didn't like that one bit, she told him either you respect my kid or fuck off. He didn't like that and walked away Jamie found out a little while later he didn't feel good so he left and went home. I just hope that this means this shit is finally over.

I hope so too and that the John guy is 10x better than shitbag and she (finally!) sees shitbag for the real asshat that he is.