How do you motivate yourself?

[Draper Mel]

I'd love some more ideas, especially from other depressives.

I'm currently on unemployment until everyone's seasons start ramping up. I have a firm start date of August 20 for 4-5 weeks of work, and then it will be easier finding stuff.

I've always found this down time to be difficult. I always think I'll get things done. I'm working on getting a portfolio website together, I made up a sewing project to work on, I should really try to walk everyday and there's always cleaning to do around here now that my parents can't do it.

But every morning I sleep in, then mess around on the internet and read, and before I know it it's like 6 in the evening and I haven't done anything useful. Some days I find I haven't even left the house, except maybe to go out in the yard. I'm short on money, so I can't do a lot of stuff.

I'm terrible at reaching out and just calling people. I've never really liked talking on the phone. Usually interacting with people at work is enough socialization for me. I'm an introvert and find people to be draining.

I'll spare you my darker thoughts for now. It's enough that I hate myself for being lazy.

So how do you motivate yourself? How do you talk yourself into doing something productive rather than read one more chapter, or watch another hour of the Olympics? How do you keep your mind from going to those darker places that you know aren't truly rational?

[Mishi]

I make a list or find a pretty printable one for housework/chores, and then I reward myself with various things.
Examples:
- 1 chore done = a garden chore of equal effort and time.
- Do all of the chores = watch some tv, go for a walk, do some painting, take a nap, etc.

For socialising, since I married an introvert and I'm somewhat introverted offline, I tend to invite a few people over for movies/dinner/boardgames/cards at least twice a month. It's easier and more relaxed, plus its cheaper for everyone.

[Andara Bledin]

I have to make a list, with times and dates.

If I don't have a list, I won't get stuff done.

And even with a list, I procrastinate like all get out. >_<

But the list helps. A lot. But it has to have times; just days doesn't work.

^-.-^

[Not Lillith]

Identify time suckers.

For me, TV and internet.

I make my husband change the password when I find that I'm spending too much on it without actually acomplishing anything.

As for the TV, I've discovered that if I turn on the radio or put some music on first thing when I get up, I'm much more likely to not turn the TV on. Plus upbeat music helps to motivate me to get through my chores. I also like listening to NPR (National Public Radio) because it makes me actually think about people, communities and the world. I feel engaged with what I'm listening to instead of the mindless numbing I feel when watching TV.

When facing a stretch of unemployment, I do find that reading helps to fill the time. But I have to be mindful of what I'm reading. Pick books that you have always wanted to read or are on a topic that you are interested in.

Even introverts can benefit from some social engagement. The last time I was unemployed I went across the street almost every morning for a coffee. Drip. the cheapest, smallest cup.

The conversation never went beyond, "Good Morning" and a few remarks about the weather but it was nice to have a routine that involved familiar faces and people who could recognize me. Well worth the little money I did have.

Volunteer.

Gah. Working. When I don't have to. Ugh, I have to get out of bed....but always felt better about myself. Learned some secretarial skills + had something to add to my resume and my self-worth.

Hope some of that was helpful.

[telecom_goddess]

What I do is I get up early, even on weekends, and spend about half an hour screwing around, drinking an energy shot, playing on my phone, smoking etc. Then when that time is up I just jump in and start doing stuff. But it's also good to take breaks, because anything being done for a long time without breaks gets boring. So say with house cleaning, get one major job done and take a short break, time if if you have to just like a job.

Definitely play some energizing/motivating music that you like. It helps make the time spent on these things go by way faster.

Making a list of things you want to accomplish every day on a day by day basis is a good way to get things organized as well.

[shadowpanda]

I suck at getting up in the morning, whether I have a job or not, regardless of whether is I need to be up at 7am or can sleep in until gone 10am. I have a radio alarm clock that I program to come on every morning (regardless of what time I have to be out of med) and it gives me time to come to. Its a bit of a talky radio so I feel somewhat stimulated and don't get bombarded by adverts.

I was unemployed for a bit and moved back in with my parents. The way I coped with dragging my sorry ass out of bed was to have a reasonably list of things that NEEDED to be done. I classed having a shower as one of them, and it helped me wake up and get ready to face the day. I would make a list, write it down or put stuff as tasks on my phone with alarms. I didn't try to set myself too much to do because I would get overwhelmed and not start what I didn't think I could finish.
It's so easy to bimble things away knowing you still have X number of days to get stuff done before you then are back at work. But keep going, keep trying and don't write a day off until it's truly over. You might find you get inspired at 6pm, and that is not too late to do the cleaning you wanted to do that day. My advice is to try and keep some sort of routine, get up at the same kind of time, have a shower, a cup of tea, bimble online for a limited time, have another cup of tea and then take on the world!!

Don't forget to report back with progress, even if it seems really small. It's still a success

[ArcticChicken]

It's amazing how much music can help my mood. If I'm feeling really shitty I like to listen to sad, angry music, and that helps. If I'm feeling just kind of..eh, I like peppy energetic music to get me going.

A routine is definitely helpful.

If you can start exercising regularly, after a while you'll start to need it in your routine. I started running in march, and now I get super restless if I can't go running on one of my scheduled days. In fact, I didn't get a chance to go running this morning, because I had to work at one of my Aunt's apartments, and despite the fact that it was very hot and I was exhausted after only a few hours, I'm still going to go running this evening.

[Amethyst Hunter]

So how do you motivate yourself?

I don't.

Seriously. I've tried just about everything, and nothing works. I always find a way to outsmart it, bypass it, or ignore it entirely.

About the only thing that does work - and even that is not enough anymore, because I'm just tired of it, having dealt with it for so long - is if I have certain things that Must Be Done By Order Of Parental Decree. I will still stall and hedge on them, because that's my nature, but they have a better chance of getting done because I don't want to be yelled at. Office Space had it right: the only real motivation is to not be hassled. So, basically, I live by fear.

[Skarredmind]

I don't wanna be that guy... (a statemet which of course is always followed by being that guy) but you might want to talk to your doctor about some meds for this (not having $$ does make it tough, I know). I was in a VERY similar situation myself not all that long ago.

The problem I found in myself that I'd lost my momentum, it was easier to do nothing because I WAS DOING nothing. Once you get up and going staying up and going is easier. The meds helped me... a lot. I felt really bad about "needing" them at first too and was afraid of the social stigma that can go along with things like happy pills. But at the end of the day, it was enough to take the edge off, and that got me up and moving, so I could get my momentum back.

Good luck!! HUGS too!

[AnaKhouri]

I am one of those people who hates wakng up in the morning. I am a huge grump and would hit 'snooze' 40 times if I could.

I found that if I drag my butt out of bed, get a glass of water, and work out first thing, I feel so much better and have more energy during the day. So if you can force yourself to get up early one day, go out and take your walk right away (walking is especially nice between 6-7, still pretty cool, no one around). It sucks at first, but after a while the payoff of feeling better makes it worth getting up.

And if you like to read, go to the library. Sometimes just a short interaction with a librarian while checking out books can make you feel less alone.

[Draper Mel]

I don't wanna be that guy... (a statemet which of course is always followed by being that guy) but you might want to talk to your doctor about some meds for this (not having $$ does make it tough, I know).

I am on meds. Oh believe me, this would have been a VERY different question if I wasn't on meds.

Mainly it's the boredom that drags me down. I'm also a champion procrastinator. And I'm very good at letting myself blow things off or ignore lists or self set goals. I haven't managed to get up any earlier, but I have taken a walk the last couple days, and done some cleaning and other stuff I wanted to do.

It's a start. I've just never managed to be disciplined at all.

[Maria]

It'll perhaps sound trite but seriously, you described me almost exactly, in your posts. I've quit college twice, mostly because I can't seem to muster up the discipline to teach myself discipline -- imagine that.

People drain me in general, but I have to have external accountability or whatever, if I'm going to learn any level of discipline and motivation. I've tried to learn on my own and had precisely zero success, and it can really tear up one's sense of self-worth to go through that. I have one friend trained to text/email/IM and ask what's my plan for tomorrow, and how today's plan went. I chose someone who I value enough to care what they think of me, but really I could probably have chosen anyone. It's not remotely perfect, but in the past six months, I've built better habits because of it. It helps a lot to talk about my plans and things that need to get done. Somehow, saying it to other people makes it more real than just making lists for myself.

I'm pretty sure that I could go right back to those unwanted choices today if I stopped fighting. It sounds funny that a person could want to succeed so badly, and have it be such a huge fight -- you'd think that desire would be motivation enough for me. Just isn't how life works sometimes, though.

[Der Cute]

If you're a procrastinator, how then did you get yourself to post this? :P. No. Really. Think about it. It is something you WANT to do.
One trouble with depression is that you "want" something - like to go exercise or get outside or gardening etc. Well, with my depression, Depression argues "no, you don't want that. I'm going to say I don't want to. Let's argue that now". And it goes..and I don't let myself..
Ahem. Back.

I wanted to volunteer. Because advice came to me a long time ago: If you're going to be unemployed for a while (I've been out for over a year), go volunteer, it fills a gap in your resume' and keeps you busy.
So I did. Heh. I went to a food bank to ask about being a client, was told they were closed that day. Then I asked "Oh hey, what about volunteering? Do you need bodies?" They said yes, and to call in the AM. I've been there since November. It has a schedule, a routine I've COMMITTED TO (like work!), rewards, social interaction etc.
I really truly WANTED to volunteer. I've been clients at food banks before, and my personal thread on that is "I don't need it as much as other people do, take as little as you need, do better with money" so I could identify helping at a food bank.

Earlier this year I also got a wild hair up my ass about the ugly strip of dirt in front of the building. It's now flowers and container gardening. (that was my anxiety shit). I had committed myself (half way through) to working on it. Who wants to look at plain mulch and 2 or 3 flowers?

So. Not just get ass out of bed. What makes you tick? Can you find a place to do that?

That goes right along with Maria - accountability.

[Andara Bledin]

Re: Procrastination and Wants

It's really easy to want things, and to want to do things. It's also really easy to not do things.

It's not a matter of depression, but of motivation (although depression can and often does have a detrimental effect on motivation).

I have been depressed a couple of times in my life and it makes getting out of bed feel pointless, and staying in bed also pointless, and you end up staying in bed only because it takes less effort than actually getting out of bed would take. Then, when you finally have to get up for something, you end up staying up so that you don't have to work up the effort it took to get up the first time again.

Lack of motivation is another thing entirely, and something I've been plagued with most of my life, and something that's only gotten worse as I get older.

If it's something I can put off to another day, you can bet that I will put it off and rarely be wrong. Even if it's something that I can't really put off but that the consequences for putting off won't be too terrible, I'm likely to put it off.

It's really difficult to get other people to understand how hard it can be to start moving.

Once I'm going, then I'm going and I'll keep going until I reach a stopping point, and then it's back to the same mental calculation of how much effort it'll take to get going again versus what sort of consequences will befall me should I choose not to.

For me, it's only things with a physical component to them. Doing chores, going out, stuff like that.

Mental tasks are a different matter entirely, and subject to an entirely different set of motivational and disciplinary issues. Anything mental I will dive into with relish, and it's only a matter of whether there is a conflicting, more enjoyable or more personal task to be done.

I have literally spent entire evenings working on research projects purely because the right person asked for help at the right time. I cannot even count the number and variety of data-related projects I've taken on at work.

^-.-^