You must chill! I have hidden your Firebird keys!!! CHILL!!!

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

So, since I have started the Schedule of Insanity and Tears and have been working 3 jobs, I have been going out a lot less on wknds. I work every wknd anyway and often I am up at 5am to open at the golf course, and I am waaay too old to deal with that with a hangover. One annoying thing that has developed from this is that I always tend to be the designated driver on the few occasions I do go out. Now, I have no real problem with this, and God knows many people have driven my drunk ass around town back in my glory days, but still, it's getting to be a bit much.

The worst part of it, however, are the people who are clearly completely snapped on booze, but insist that they are a-ok to drive. So now, because I am the only sober person there and feel extra responsible for these dolts, I not only have to drive them home but I have to convince them first that they need to LET me drive them home. Last wknd I was in a situation where things actually got a little heated because a jackhole friend of a friend flat-out refused to let me drive him. The guy was slurring and couldn't open his eyes more than halfway, but no, no, he was fiiiiiiiiine to drive. In the end he excused himself to go to the bathroom, but left and drove home, and thought he was super-clever.

So...what the hell? What do I do with these idiots? How do you convinve a drunken beer-sponge that they need to let you drive them, especially when you don't particulalrly WANT to drive them because all you want is to go home and go to bed?
Thoughts? Ideas???

[TheSHAD0W]

As much as you may love your friends, they're not teenagers and you aren't their parent. If they want to be stupid you can offer to help, but at the end of the day they're responsible for themselves. (And if they blame you for not being responsible for them, you may want to reconsider keeping their company.)

[auntiem]

Any chance your town has one of those nifty "drive my drunk ass home in my own car" type of services? If so, then call them and remind the drunk dolt that it is way cheaper than a ticket. If not, maybe you could ditch one of your jobs and start one (since you are doing it for free right now).
Also, depending on where you live, the bar itself can get into trouble / fines for someone drinking there and then getting into an accident. For example, in one state each bar that served the drunk driver gets a large fine. If that is the case, solicit the help of the bar itself.

[Heksubah]

I could give you pictures of the inside of my shoulder from mid-surgery when it was repaired after I was hit by a drunk driver to show them... or pictures of my totaled car, but that's less impressive since it wasn't too outwardly banged up but the frame was twisted.

[csquared]

Try to get their keys before they get drunk and obstinate. Also, keep your cell phone handy and video their shenanigans. When they are sober, show them what an ass they were.

[AnaKhouri]

If they get into a car and drive drunk, call the police on them.

I have no tolerance for that kind of foolishness. Having them mad at you for calling the cops on them is much better than them killing someone while driving drunk.

[Andara Bledin]

If they're going to have to be designated driver and watchdog for the group, then everybody who's drinking should have to give up their keys until the end of the night.

This won't work so well for bar trips, but I remember a story about one guy who had an old 10 gallon water cooler bottle that he'd drop everybody's keys into at the beginning of the night. If they could fish them out with a straightened coat hanger with a bend at the end, then they were allowed to drive.

^-.-^

[MadMike]

This won't work so well for bar trips, but I remember a story about one guy who had an old 10 gallon water cooler bottle that he'd drop everybody's keys into at the beginning of the night. If they could fish them out with a straightened coat hanger with a bend at the end, then they were allowed to drive.

Damn, I don't think I could even do that sober!

[Dytchdoctir]

If they get into a car and drive drunk, call the police on them.

I have no tolerance for that kind of foolishness. Having them mad at you for calling the cops on them is much better than them killing someone while driving drunk.

Too right. I've dealt with far too many horrific results of asshats who think they can drive pickled.

Take their keys, or call the cops on them. They're pissed at you? Too bad. You deserve better friends.

Okay, rant over.

[PepperElf]

one of my friends said that they gave in and let the drunk man have the keys... after they pulled the spark plugs from the car.

they gave them back when he was sober

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

It's not so much my friends who are the assholes; it's my friends friends. The group that this mainly happens with is a group that my boyfriend golfs and does some other sports with. The guys who are actually our friends are cool with it; their attitude is basically.."Oh, Lizard is drinking coffee?? sweet! Another round of beer, we have a ride home!". And honestly I'm ok with it because most of them live pretty close to me anyway and in all honesty, I owe them a few after all the times I've drunkenly manhandled their car stereos and made them listen to me singing Bon Jovi or Queen while they tote my drunken self home. It's just the friends of friends who are dicks.

When they are drinking at the golf course, there is usually only one girl left serving and she is usually looking to me for help with the situation, so there's really no help there.

4 years ago a good friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver while she walked down a residential sidewalk with her son who has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. She died in front of her son, in the road like an animal. I will not tolerate this crap from people I know.

Thanks for the advice guys. I love the hanger idea, and maybe I should educate myself about what parts of an engine I can pull apart without electrocuting myself!

[PepperElf]

"Oh, Lizard is drinking coffee?? sweet! Another round of beer, we have a ride home!".

I'm glad your own friends are like that.... however it sounds like they could improve too.

Because... it also sounds like they're NOT looking out for their own buddies, especially if they expect *you* to take care of the others too. Cos the way it's going now, it sounds like they're letting you take a hit as the "bad guy" or "party pooper" ... and that's not fair to you.


You might want to consider talking to your friends alone and asking them to help. If they're your friends they'll understand why it bothers you so much.

[BlaqueKatt]

maybe I should educate myself about what parts of an engine I can pull apart without electrocuting myself!

negative battery cable(positive is red, don't touch that one, the negative is just a "ground" so no zappy) requires a 5/16 wrench sometimes which is small enough to carry, or spark plug cable the red wires in this picture

[violiavampyr]

Any chance your town has one of those nifty "drive my drunk ass home in my own car" type of services? If so, then call them and remind the drunk dolt that it is way cheaper than a ticket. If not, maybe you could ditch one of your jobs and start one (since you are doing it for free right now).
Also, depending on where you live, the bar itself can get into trouble / fines for someone drinking there and then getting into an accident. For example, in one state each bar that served the drunk driver gets a large fine. If that is the case, solicit the help of the bar itself.

There's actually a free service like that here. Not enough people use it.

[Shangri-laschild]

It sounds like there might definitely be some benefit from rules ahead of time when they are sober rather than dealing with the whole thing at the end. I'm not saying that just cause they agreed they'll be completely willing once their drunk but it might mean you can get their keys from them up front. But yeah, if they don't cooperate, I'd just call the cops on them.