The 28 year old virgin

[ShinyGreenApple]

Well the only reason we're drawing the conclusion that he's into men is because he has a profile on a gay dating app. We looked him up and he has a profile picture and everything, it's definitely him. But he's also very obviously into women as he's very flirtatious with us and has two children. (both in their teens and neither lives with him, in case anyone was wondering).

So either he's hiding the fact he likes men from most people, he's curious, or someone is using his identity on the app. He's actually said he's straight, told me he's been hit on by men and will accept free drinks from them but has never gone to bed with them. Our friend Hurley spent an indecent amount of time the night we went out groping his ass and he just stood there looking like but let him do it anyways Mostly he just will openly admit that he'll flirt back a little if he thinks it'll get them to buy him something. Like I said, it doesn't bother me, it's just the way he's going about the whole issue is . . . weird. His brother is openly gay and both of them often frequent gay bars. But hell, I'm straight and I had my birthday at a gay bar this year, too.

He also hints around about being 'freaky' and that topic only recently came up because he thinks his coworker is attempting to get us wasted again. She apparently told him he needs to bring me to her house to play 'Battle of the Sexes' and that her husband likes to watch her and her friends play games. We're not sure how to interpret that Especially since she also said her liquor cabinet was full and he flat out asked her, jokingly "What the hell, you trying to get us drunk?"

"Weeellll, you never know what could happen!"

Dear god, I think we're being targeted for a swing party and neither of us is interested.

[Der Cute]

Sounds like he's bi. So, hey, three-way!
PS. Pineapple juice DOES work. Just sayin'. And swing stuff - let's say you go and you don't realize it is one. You say no, it means no. Period. I've got some friends who are in that lifestyle and I've asked about it. No means no. (btw I was at a party for swingers, had a blast. Woman walked up to me and sloppy kissed me on the cheek, said "omg you're hot". I nicely said, "Sorry, I like guys only." She backtracked so fast it was funny.)

Especially swingers- just say, "Sorry, that's not my style, I stay monogamous" etc and they know.

[Jester]

Der Cute, you are right, but just like with any group, there are some swingers who aren't the best at respecting others' boundaries, and some that really don't accept "no" as meaning NO. I have some friends who are swingers, and I actually DJ'd some parties for the swingers convention that comes through town, so I am not saying this based on mere conjecture, but because I have witnessed some of these people act completely inappropriately with people who did not want to join in their reindeer games, including (but not limited to) staff at bars that hosted events for them.

My point is that if Apple and Mr. Wonderful go to this coworker's house for the party, and turn their hosts down, it may not be as easy as that, and if they've been drinking, they may well feel trapped at that house. If Apple and Mr. Wonderful really don't want to engage in that behavior, their best bet is to not put themselves in that position in the first place. Because it sounds like Ms. Swinger is ALL about getting them "into the lifestyle."

[ShinyGreenApple]

I have some dirty, dirty fantasies, but I don't yhink I'd be into swinging. And sure as hell not for a first experience, gross. Her husband is cool about weird stuff like that, even if he doesn't participate. On her birthday, I humored her a little bit, danced, got on a damn pole with her, at one point she was straddling me where I sat o_O but like I said, I didn't mind because she did warn me she got like that and it was her birthday. She goes both ways but I'm pretty straight, unless you're Kiera Knightley or Naomi Harris. *cough* but yeah, her husband just kind of sat there looking resigned and took the occasional picture and watched while she pretty much felt up, molested and smacked the two of us. She actually grabbed Biscuit's hands and put them smack on her boobs, he was looking at her husband in horror and he just shrugged and rolled his eyes O_o



Biscuit has already made it pretty clear (To me, at least) that he's NOT ok with being watched

Maybe she's just really friendly and kind of flirtatious and playing games really is just board games and stuff. Buy I don't want to end up trapped, I think Jester hit pretty close to the mark. Especially if too much alcohol is consumed, neither of us would be able to leave. I think that might have been why he convinced his brother to come with us last month, both as an excuse ("Nah, can't stay and play, Teddy is with is"), and a backup driver.

[Gizmo]

Um.. yeah, keep away from those two! O.o

[Jester]

Maybe she's just really friendly and kind of flirtatious and playing games really is just board games and stuff.

Obviously I don't know her so can't say with any certainty, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that Monopoly and Scrabble are NOT the games she had in mind!

[Greenday]

Obviously I don't know her so can't say with any certainty, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that Monopoly and Scrabble are NOT the games she had in mind!

Naked twister more like it.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Well, he said she wants us to play "Battle of the Sexes", which is this game, according to my Google-fu.

http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/3...e-of-the-sexes

To me, that doesn't sound like any more fun than swinging while being watched by a stranger. I'm not into games, let alone ones that pit genders/age groups against each other. I can actually see a lot of arguing and sore feelings erupting from something like that

I'm not worried, since there was no official invitation and neither of us accepted said unofficial suggestion. Last I talked, she wanted everyone over for a bonfire. That I can do. But no games. No. Never.

[PhiSigGirl1988]

There have been plenty of arguments due to Battle of the Sexes within my group of friends. Some of those questions are ridiculous. However, one particular argument did lead to a rather amusing rant by one of the guys.

[ShinyGreenApple]

I'm not a 'girly girl' and Biscuit knows some weird stuff, like the majority of the lyrics to many of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj's songs. I can see where it would be amusing, but no, mostly I see arguments. I just dislike things that play to stereotypes and deliberately try to make one side feel dumb and the other superior.

[Flyndaran]

I'm not a 'girly girl' and Biscuit knows some weird stuff, like the majority of the lyrics to many of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj's songs. I can see where it would be amusing, but no, mostly I see arguments. I just dislike things that play to stereotypes and deliberately try to make one side feel dumb and the other superior.

I would have to be on the girls' side, and my girlfriend would be on the boys'.
Because of a certain surgery I know all about hygiene pads. Because of a certain medication issue, I know about hot flashes and night sweats.

As to the thread title, depending on your definition, I first had sex when I was 24. No religious issues, just wasn't ready until I met the love of my life. Still together after 14 years.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Again with TMI . . .


So after two and a half years, I gave up on Biscuit and while I don't have solid proof, I'm 90% convinced that his 'brother', Teddy, is really his partner. Too many signs point to it, not least of all Teddy referring to Biscuit's kids as "My stepkids".

Anyways, not important. What is, is that what could be called a "Flirtationship" that has been going on since May between myself and the guy from my "Shy" thread has developed into . . . well I'm not exactly sure, but I've found myself winding up in bed with him twice, we've done pretty much everything except actual intercourse. It's a learning experience, and it's certainly not all fireworks and seeing deities, it's hella fun.

Highlight to read TMI -

Yeah . . . he put a finger in me last night while he was giving me oral, that was every bit as uncomfortable as it is when I try it myself, but after he went in and out a few times, it got better. Still wasn't exactly pleasurable, but it wasn't uncomfortable, either. I think I'm just that tight. At least there was no blood.

And he knows about the virgin thing - when we established we'd like to get to know each other, he asked very frank questions and that was one of them. At first he said he was incredibly uneasy about the idea of taking anyone else's virginity, because apparently it's happened several times before and all of them hate him now But last night he was wanting to go for it, but I'm still not on BC and while he has condoms, I'm just horrified it'll break. That happens fairly often, no? I actually really want the sex, but the idea of pregnancy scares me even more than any STD, as ridiculous as that might sound to some.

[Jester]

I'm still not on BC and while he has condoms, I'm just horrified it'll break. That happens fairly often, no?

Often enough where your concern is legitimate, and your caution warranted. And despite many misconceptions, this has absolutely nothing to do with penis size.

the idea of pregnancy scares me even more than any STD, as ridiculous as that might sound to some.

That is not ridiculous. Both are life-altering events, and it could be argued that the first is more life-altering than many STDs.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Yeah, methinks it's time to make that appointment. Until then, he can make do with other stuff. I'll try to learn to not let my teeth get in the way

[Der Cute]

Again with TMI . . .

And he knows about the virgin thing - when we established we'd like to get to know each other, he asked very frank questions and that was one of them. At first he said he was incredibly uneasy about the idea of taking anyone else's virginity, because apparently it's happened several times before and all of them hate him now But last night he was wanting to go for it, but I'm still not on BC and while he has condoms, I'm just horrified it'll break. That happens fairly often, no? I actually really want the sex, but the idea of pregnancy scares me even more than any STD, as ridiculous as that might sound to some.

Know what, him asking about virginity and being frank gives me smiles. The hating afterwards is the wha?. First thought: can you research with those girls? Is that possible?
Second: Take a two prong (baaad) approach to sex. Your BC and him wearing condoms is a very good idea. I've used the pull out method too many times and that's just the worst one to do- it scares the ASEFAWRVmadl out of me. I've never had a condom break, but it's always possible. Having spermicide within the condom also reduces possibilities of pregnancy.
Third: Foreplay, touch, and being relaxed are important for starting things. It's ironic, getting excited and riled up - being relaxed..Maybe it's "accepting things" = relaxed. You are learning and have learned your body well, so now it's "steering" towards things you like. Find out what excites HIM, too, because that will spark you too.

You're doing good.