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Sigh.. so I was literally scrolling down to click post, when apparently my cat found the "close browser" keystroke sequence, instead. Pardon my frustration. This thread made me realize I have a question that you people might have some good advice for. (Should be sucky tenant thread.. I have trouble with links. And I'm going to be scarred for life over the "sucky Tennant" comment, thanks.)
So that's my question. How do you throw a relative out of the house, when you know they have no job, and no money, and still be able to live with yourself?
Here's some supporting information that I think affects the situation. It's my 25-year-old son with Asperger's. When he began college, we and his biological parents (he was adopted as a teen) came to the decision that he should focus on school, not work and rent. I no longer think this was smart, but we made the decision based on what we knew then, so anyway. We came to an agreement where his bio-parents would pay his living expenses until he graduated. Due to job loss on their part, we released them of that obligation and took it up ourselves for the last semester and a half that he had until graduation.
Yeah. That was November 2008. Instead of graduating, he dropped out at what should have been the end of his final year, having failed a class in Fall 2008 that needed to be retaken before he can graduate. We've been stewing and dealing with it ever since, but like the job loss in 2008, things have changed again.
We have a rent to own agreement with the owner of our house, my father. I learned last month, he's only charged us 80% of the mortgage, and paid the other 20% himself as a gift. I appreciate that, but like I said, things have changed. Mom's chemo and dialysis now take every penny and then some, and he can't do this anymore. We've looked at our budget, and the only realistic solution is to expect the 25-year-old son, and my 23-year-old brother who also lives with us, to pay rent to make up the last 30% (we figure it's a great time to start having them contribute toward utilities too). My brother is all about making that happen, for his part, and then some. He kind of rocks. The son, however? Yeah. Lord of the Rings Online, every day, all day. Enough is enough.
Sooo.. this is where I come to all of you for advice. How do you word it, when you tell someone that you're charging rent or he's leaving and that's just the end of that? He argues like you wouldn't believe, and I often allow myself to get sucked into that. I figure I can only prevent this if I can walk away knowing that I nailed it on the first sentence and no further clarification is needed. And how do you stick to your word, when you know it's for the best, but it's so incredibly painful to do so? Thanks for the input.
So that's my question. How do you throw a relative out of the house, when you know they have no job, and no money, and still be able to live with yourself?
Here's some supporting information that I think affects the situation. It's my 25-year-old son with Asperger's. When he began college, we and his biological parents (he was adopted as a teen) came to the decision that he should focus on school, not work and rent. I no longer think this was smart, but we made the decision based on what we knew then, so anyway. We came to an agreement where his bio-parents would pay his living expenses until he graduated. Due to job loss on their part, we released them of that obligation and took it up ourselves for the last semester and a half that he had until graduation.
Yeah. That was November 2008. Instead of graduating, he dropped out at what should have been the end of his final year, having failed a class in Fall 2008 that needed to be retaken before he can graduate. We've been stewing and dealing with it ever since, but like the job loss in 2008, things have changed again.
We have a rent to own agreement with the owner of our house, my father. I learned last month, he's only charged us 80% of the mortgage, and paid the other 20% himself as a gift. I appreciate that, but like I said, things have changed. Mom's chemo and dialysis now take every penny and then some, and he can't do this anymore. We've looked at our budget, and the only realistic solution is to expect the 25-year-old son, and my 23-year-old brother who also lives with us, to pay rent to make up the last 30% (we figure it's a great time to start having them contribute toward utilities too). My brother is all about making that happen, for his part, and then some. He kind of rocks. The son, however? Yeah. Lord of the Rings Online, every day, all day. Enough is enough.
Sooo.. this is where I come to all of you for advice. How do you word it, when you tell someone that you're charging rent or he's leaving and that's just the end of that? He argues like you wouldn't believe, and I often allow myself to get sucked into that. I figure I can only prevent this if I can walk away knowing that I nailed it on the first sentence and no further clarification is needed. And how do you stick to your word, when you know it's for the best, but it's so incredibly painful to do so? Thanks for the input.
There were also issues with him disappearing (to his girlfriend's, we think) for days at a time, not cleaning up after himself, etc. We asked him to get a job. We demanded he get a job.
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