<sigh> ...My brother is destroying his life. And I made it worse.

[yeahwhatev]

Agree with all of this except yeahwhatever's suggestion that your father also be automatically sent to Coventry.

Actually I said that if he supports the brother's actions, he should lose privileges as well. Given the last update, Grandpa is still playing the "Oh my precious son" routine, even though it's put him in the poorhouse. The man allowed his grandchild to be born into harsh conditions while showering the favored child with attention and gifts. He is continuing the cycle. Grandpa is part of the problem.

[Seraph]

Welp, my mother called me up today and told me off about the whole shindig. The gist of the whole thing is that she's ticked off I didn't immediately send EVERYONE home, and that I didn't call her straight off the bat afterwards to apologize for what happened. I probably *should* have called her to see if she was alright, but I'm not going to apologize for a situation she started.

Guess I'm back to ignoring my family, albeit I'm forced now to have to communicate with my father a lot. Grandy (his mother) is back in the hospital, and 95% chance of being put into hospice on Monday. /sigh

[Gizmo]

Welp, my mother called me up today and told me off about the whole shindig. The gist of the whole thing is that she's ticked off I didn't immediately send EVERYONE home, and that I didn't call her straight off the bat afterwards to apologize for what happened. I probably *should* have called her to see if she was alright, but I'm not going to apologize for a situation she started.

Guess I'm back to ignoring my family, albeit I'm forced now to have to communicate with my father a lot. Grandy (his mother) is back in the hospital, and 95% chance of being put into hospice on Monday. /sigh

Meh. She also needs to take responsibility here and give YOU some space and acceptance of being human. And to be honest.. I'm not sure that an apology is what is needed from you at all. *hugs*

[Pixilated]

Welp, my mother called me up today and told me off about the whole shindig. The gist of the whole thing is that she's ticked off I didn't immediately send EVERYONE home, and that I didn't call her straight off the bat afterwards to apologize for what happened. I probably *should* have called her to see if she was alright, but I'm not going to apologize for a situation she started.

Guess I'm back to ignoring my family, albeit I'm forced now to have to communicate with my father a lot. Grandy (his mother) is back in the hospital, and 95% chance of being put into hospice on Monday. /sigh

I disagree that there was any need for you to call her back at all, given her role in the whole mess. Certainly you owe NO apologies!

And I'm sorry to hear about Grandy.

[Seraph]

Engage full on panic mode. After a series of phone calls my mother made to the house tonight, alternately berating me, and saying how she didn't want to see me again for a LONG while....

....my husband silently got up, went to the door, and as he was walking out said "I'm going over to your mother's to have a chat."

This isn't going to end well. He's been gone over fifteen minutes now, its a half a minute drive to her house.

Edit: he just called me as he was leaving, said it was VERY bad, and that she's not allowed at our house until she apologizes. Husband NEVER gets like this, its bad. Very bad.

[evilfarmer]

holy cow! I just read everything going on. *hugs* to you and your hubby first off. Secondly i agree with no contact with your brother and now apparently your mother. I hope your chistmas is much less stressful and more fun. Please remember none of this is your fault.

[Akasa]

/hugs Seraph

I don't have anything to add that hasn't been said, but I figured you could use more hugs.

[Pixilated]

More hugs, because one cannot have too many hugs ...

But kudos to your hubby. He is right. Block her calls and refuse all contact with her. Let her stew in her own juice until she comes around. You, your hubby and your kids don't need this crap, not at any time of the year but especially not at Christmas.

[Seshat]

Guess I'm back to ignoring my family, albeit I'm forced now to have to communicate with my father a lot. Grandy (his mother) is back in the hospital, and 95% chance of being put into hospice on Monday. /sigh

My sympathies about Grandy, and I hope she finds living in a hospice to suit her: some people do.

As for your mother: she has just proven herself to not deserve you, in my opinion. That business about the aggressive phone calls is pure childishness.

[KatherineB]

I hate to say it, Seraph, but good on your husband. He did exactly the right thing and I'm thrilled to bits that he stood up for you like that. My feeling is that you should set yourself the following rules:

At the moment, if they want to contact you, they should go through hubby. He can clearly be far less emotional about this whole situation than you can (understandably, of course, but it's still true) and can decide whether they get to speak to you or not.

They contact you. You do not contact them. Not at under any other than critical circumstances (i.e. something happens to you, the kids or hubby). You have no reason to contact them.

If they want to talk to you, they have to make the effort. They have to be civil or you hang up/shut the door at once.

Frankly, I would like you to receive an apology from at least two of the three of them, but we'll probably all be dead waiting for it so I would implement the first three and then go about your business focusing on those who really matter to you - hubs and the kids.

[Crossbow]

*hugs* I wish I could do more, Seraph.

[Mikkel]

Plan what your response should be when she come anyway, because she will.
Then you won't be drawn into more drama.

[taxguykarl]

KatherineB is right. Your DH is on the same page as you with this nonsense. The only discernable difference is the methods.

So when will Jerry Springer be airing their appearence?

[Fudgethatkay]

Sorry dear, your husband gets my applause

[Pixilated]

Plan what your response should be when she come anyway, because she will.
Then you won't be drawn into more drama.

I second this! One of the things people like this enjoy is watching others get thrown off balance. If you're not, it reduces their sense of power and control.