Increasing willpower.

[JPD]

There are several things I'm trying to do to improve my life, and I find that I keep failing at all of them, mainly due to not having enough willpower to see things through. When ever I try to get a handle on any of these things, it doesn't seem to last more then a week before I give in.

For eating healthy-- I am a major candy and junk food addict; also I often go to snack or junk food options both because I think they taste better, but also since they are cheaper and don't usually require anything in terms of preparation. In addition I tend to eat when I'm not hungry as well. - Boredom, celebration, stress, also I find eating helps better then OTC pain pills when it comes to some types of pains.

For Working out- I usually tell myself I will in a few minutes, but that few minutes never comes. In addition in order to work out I have to move the furniture around both before and after, and I never seem to want to do that. (being lazy again)

For sticking to a budget - While I don't shop as much as a I used to, and am better and keeping my spending under control. Although the majority of my spending is on necessities, or on food.

Not procrastinating. I'm a college student, and I'm trying to get a handle of getting my assignments done a few days before there due instead of at midnight the night before there due. It works sometimes, but I still find the majority of things are done the night before.

[KiaKat]

Warning: Long Post. Lots of info, though.

I've started setting a schedule for myself, with alarms on my phone. I know, for example, that I have to get a Wordpress theme built by the end of the day, and I wanted to get some functions built for my own site. Plus I have half a dozen client emails to send, and I haven't caught up on the latest reviews for the 08 Piedmont wines, nor am I up to speed on the current South American releases, which have just hit shelves. So I laid out a schedule for today.

*First, the reading. Can do that over coffee.
*Then the emails. Get them off, so that I can get responses back and pass them along.
*Then the WP theme. That needs doing, so I can't waste time.
*Lastly, I can spend a couple hours futzing with functions, to try and get this script to work the way I want.
*Scattered into this are various phone calls that need doing, a couple of chores (laundry, ugh), and some time for just messing around online.

I've even scheduled the time to go to the gym and eat.

For the first few weeks, I didn't deviate from my schedule. If that alarm went off, I followed it. Now that I'm in the habit, I'll rearrange things a bit, and give myself an extra 30 minutes if necessary. If I get a project, the first thing I do is figure out how long it takes, and add it to the schedule.

I've done something similar with food. I put together a recipe box with my go-to recipes. If I'm not sure what I want to eat, I go through the box, and put something together. Every recipe makes enough for at least two meals for two people, so there's always leftovers, which keeps me from eating junk. Food is never eaten out of its original container, and is always portioned carefully. We tend to spend a fair bit on food, but that's getting under control, so I'm not as worried about that part of our budget, these days.

Which brings me to budget.

Every dollar you have should be spent before you get it. By that, I mean that you should know where every single cent in your paycheque is scheduled, whether it's a bill, rent, savings, food, or entertainment. Make a spreadsheet, put your monthly pay at the top, then fill column one with the names of each spending category (rent/mortgage, insurance, car, phone, cable, water, power, gas, savings, food, entertainment, clothing) and column two with the current month's amount. Some of them you know in advance. Some don't change every month. Others are dependent on various outside factors. Play with the ones that are determined solely by you (food, entertainment, clothing, other), and see what fits into the budget. If you have Quicken or Quickbooks, you can set it up there, instead. Use the Excel formulas and total column 2, then compare it to the number at the top. If there's a discrepancy, then mess with the non-static numbers until there's a match. Static numbers are the ones you must pay to avoid services being cut off, eviction, or bad credit.

Example: We always schedule one dinner out per month, and two pizzas. We also leave a bit of extra money in that account for takeaway, for nights where we're too tired or stressed to think about cooking. In months we don't use it, it carries over into the next month. We don't re-allocate that amount, because we know it's advantageous to build up a cushion there for the months we're both just totally wrung out.

If you're like us, your biggest budget outlay (other than rent/car) is food. Cooking and not buying processed foods at all are your best bet for reducing that section of the budget. Which also goes back to eating better.

Try joining a fitness group or class. Look around on reddit or community boards, to see if there's a local group of walkers or gym-goers. Having a group of people relying on you (or even just one person) is enough of an obligation to get you up and moving.

Use it as an excuse to get out of the house. The only thing you need for walking is a good pair of shoes, comfortable pants or shorts, tshirt, and hoodie. Then you just go. No need to rearrange furniture, or have special equipment. Brain is stuck? Go walking. Can't sort out what you need for that paper? Go hit a hilly stretch of road and use the cadence to figure it out. Unless you're in a particularly dangerous area, time of day is unimportant - just get out and go. The more you get out there, the more your brain will start to get addicted to the extra activity. Hell, I'd been dying, not being able to run or ski due to an injury. The moment I was cleared? Boom. More than 2.5 miles on the treadmill, at a 12:30 pace. Not bad, for not having been running for quite a while at that point. And my brain was ecstatic with me.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go resurrect a thread, then throw my laundry in the dryer. Then I need to get back to this Wordpress theme.

After all, my alarm is going off.

[Aethian]

Try having a accountability partner. It can be someone different for each aspect or it could just be one person who has some of the main goals.

[PandaHat]

Try using being lazy to your advantage! I rarely can muster up the energy to go out and buy junk food if it's not in the house already. Then you only need to have will power during food shopping.

All the rest of the problems, yeah, can't help you, I'm exactly the same.

[blas]

Always remember, it takes much longer to change a habbit than to start one.

Therefore, it will take you a while to get used to exercise or healthier foods.

[Kheldarson]

Takes 10 weeks to establish any habit, good or bad. So you really only have to hold out for 10 weeks.

[MoonCat]

I can help with the junk food one. The simplest solution is usually the best. DON'T BUY ANY. I mean NONE. No cookies, no candy, no chips, no pop/soda (especially this). Instead, buy your favorite fruit, or fat-free yogurt, or whatever "treat" that's actually good for you. Think in terms of what you CAN have, instead of what you can't, and pick from that list. It takes a while to establish a new habit, but once you're not eating or drinking the junkie stuff anymore, you can trust yourself to have a small amount of a treat now and then.

Second thing to keep in mind is don't go shopping when you're hungry. If you're food shopping, the wrong things will be irresistible. If you're doing other shopping, you'll want to buy a snack. So make sure you eat a good, healthy meal before you go shopping for anything.

[Ophbalance]

Last year I started a new contract with a new company working for the same agency. The previous 18 months had been spent as a full time at home worker, while this job is mostly in the office. The reason I bring this up is a change in my daily schedule really helped.

The crew in the office likes to walk, you see. We do a loop that's about 1.5 miles twice a day. Once at 10 AM and again at 3 PM. My boss goes. His boss goes. And no one gives any flak about the fact that one hour of your day is spent out walking. That was a huge change for me, and it's what kick started a diet.

Things that really helped me:

* Schedule exercise. Make 30 (or more) minutes of time per day to do something. Walk, jog, Wii Fit, free weights, whatever
* Schedule out meals and amounts. Although most folks couldn't deal with this, I eat the same thing every day at breakfast and lunch. And it's measured out so I know what I'm eating. Now, that truly sounds like a pain in the ass, and it was at first. The thing is, once you have the amounts down, it's not that bad. I know that one bowl of cereal is 1.5 cups. I know that 1/3 cup of peanuts is 40 grams. I also know the snacks I have through the day and their calorie counts. Every day I put them into myfitnespal to see how I'm doing. It's actually easier when maintaining weight, than when losing it.
* As previously mentioned, schedule, schedule, schedule. I've got all of my upcoming bills as repeating events in google calendar. I then mark up each month's calendar around the first week with how much that week will cost vs how much is coming in. Based on that, I know how much extra I SHOULD have... though, having a spouse makes that so very much more difficult .

[Kittish]

Not buying junk food is how I've mostly broken myself of eating it. I'm on a VERY strict budget for food, so I gotta be super careful about spending. And a quote from an author I highly admire- "Budget luxuries FIRST." For me, this winds up resulting in a category on my shopping list labeled Misc, and a set maximum I can spend on it. Misc is for the thing I spot that I suddenly just have to have (provided it's not more than the allotment). Somehow having that little bit of extra makes me feel better, even if I don't use it (and more and more often I'm not using it).

If you really don't think you can live without sweets tho, then make them yourself. I usually keep one or two kinds of homemade cookies on hand, and I know what's in them (and what's not). They're far healthier than store bought cookies. They also taste better. And (and this is a big one for me) they're cheaper. LOTS cheaper. Plus, cookies are easy to make and they keep pretty well.

For the exercise, about the only thing I can offer is find something you LIKE to do. I flatly refuse to do boring, repetitive calisthenics type exercise or work out on machines at a gym. Ick. For me it's riding a bike. So we saved up and got bikes, and are going riding every day. Figure out what you enjoy, what you WILL do, and do it.

KiaKat's idea with the schedule is a good one. I might have to swipe that to help me get chores done.

Last bit- don't give up. I may be completely off here, but your post sounds like you're starting to expect yourself to fail when you try to change any of the habits you've mentioned. If you expect to fail, then you won't try as hard to succeed, so you're more likely to fail... I'm sure you see where that winds up. Don't give up!

[ArcticChicken]

It sounds to me like you're trying to make broad, sweeping changes, all at once. Stop. Those kinds of changes are HARD, almost impossible. Instead, focus on little things, little, sustainable changes. Over time, they build up to the huge changes you need.

Right now, I'm quitting coffee. I can't just give it up over night, though. If I tried to quit cold turkey, I'd be a bitch for about two days, then I'd be drinking coffee again. Instead, I gradually reduce my caffeine intake over time. I started with two cups a day of full strength coffee. Then I reduced the coffee to 2/3 full caf, 1/3 decaf. I did that for a few weeks until I stopped feeling like ass, then I reduced it again. When I stopped feeling like ass, I reduced it to full decaf. This morning, I'm giving it up entirely. If I feel really bad by the time lunch rolls around, I may give it a few weeks of ONE cup of decaf.

This method can be applied to any habit you want to build. Want to stop eating junk? Gradually reduce your intake. Want to start eating healthier? Fill half your plate with fruits and veggies at ONE meal a day, after a few weeks, do two. Want to exercise more? Go for a walk for 1/2 an hour three days a week. Over time, increase the time, the distance, or the number of days you go. Don't like walking? Take five minutes a day and do body weight exercises, like pushups. Gradually increase the time. Can't do pushups for five minutes? OK, do ten modified pushups at once, every day. Next week, do 12.

The trick is not to make yourself feel overwhelmed. If you do, you'll go right back to your old, bad, habits. Do small things that don't seem to change your life too much. When those are part of your life, do other small things.

Last bit- don't give up. I may be completely off here, but your post sounds like you're starting to expect yourself to fail when you try to change any of the habits you've mentioned. If you expect to fail, then you won't try as hard to succeed, so you're more likely to fail... I'm sure you see where that winds up. Don't give up!

Another thing. It's OK not to be perfect. If you mess up one day, that's OK, you haven't ruined it. Sometimes you're sick. Sometimes, godammit, you need a slice of pie. That's OK. After you get well, after you've eaten the pie, you get right back to it. THAT'S what counts.

[It's me]

The biggest obstacle to changing is that we are wired so that immediate gain tends to overwhelm future costs...

The key is to make it easier for your future self to do the things differently. For example, it is very easy to buy vegetables at the store NOW while you are not hungry. And then tomorrow, when you ARE hungry and stuck with nothing to eat but vegetables, guess what you are going to eat? But if you shop while hungry you end up buying 15 different kinds of bread because the bakery smells to good... guess what you'll be eating tomorrow! Another example: Go to your payroll department and setup automatic RRSP/401K savings. Easy to do now as you don't already have the money in your pocket.

The psychological term for this is "hyperbolic discount".

Couple of good books:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...w_myk_ro_title

and
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...w_myk_ro_title

[BlaqueKatt]

For eating healthy-- I am a major candy and junk food addict; also I often go to snack or junk food options both because I think they taste better, but also since they are cheaper and don't usually require anything in terms of preparation. In addition I tend to eat when I'm not hungry as well. - Boredom, celebration, stress, also I find eating helps better then OTC pain pills when it comes to some types of pains.

What's helped me on that(other than having a personal trainer that gets on me about my diet), is an android app called "my fitness pal", it tracks your food, nutrient intake, and exercise(daily and weekly). If you have a smartphone it's free. I love it because I'm terribly lazy and it tracks the food by scanning barcodes. My current "go to" snack is now grape tomatoes(the things are about a calorie a piece), strawberries are 9 calories, and the reason "junk food tastes better" salt and Monosodium glutamate-neither f which are very good for you.

[Seshat]

Spend some time thinking about what's stopping you.

For instance, it's possible that you have an endocrine disorder, and you're self-medicating (incorrectly) with the sugar. A simple blood test will verify or discount that - but if you do have it, you may well need help from a doctor and a dietitian.
Also note: your body will feel DIFFERENT when you eat differently.

Exercise: if you get sweat rashes, chafing, blisters, etc, you'll want to stop exercising. Don't. All these sorts of problems can be cured and prevented. Again, talk to your doctor. Talk to a pharmacist. Talk to fitness instructors.

Same thing with all the other changes. You have sensible, logical reasons for not maintaining your changes. Find out what they are, and fix them.

[bhskittykatt]

As someone else said, start small, then go from there.

When I was at my heaviest, I started to make changes, and I mean TINY changes. How I broke myself of fast food: first, it was ordering one hamburger instead of two. Then, it was changing my drive-thru order to something healthier. This involved actually writing out my order on a card and reading it, since I found I often went into "auto-order" mode and would rattle off my usual without thinking. Then, it was limiting myself to the drive-thru 3 times a week, then two, then one. As of right now, I literally cannot remember the last time I hit up a drive-thru. I still eat some FF from time to time (I had a veggie sandwich with no mayo at a sandwich shop yesterday), but it's no longer a daily thing, and the greasy tasteless burgers-and-fries fare is no more (if I go out for a burger as a treat, I go someplace with actual waitpersons and get a made-to-order, real good burger).

It's not going to happen overnight. It certainly didn't for me. Set small goals. (http://www.sparkpeople.com is great for this; tell them bhskittykatt sent you </shameless plugging>) And if you slip up once in a while, don't beat yourself up. You don't accidentally run a red light and say "Screw it" and drive recklessly all the rest of the day, so don't treat other parts of your life like that either.

[Pixilated]

Excellent advice here (she says, taking notes for herself ) so I'll just add a couple of things.

First, you seem to be saying, "I always eat badly," "I never get around to exercising," and so on. Try to stop thinking and telling yourself that ... because the unspoken other half of that is "and I always/never will." You are setting yourself up to keep failing. Focus on the times you do eat properly and the times you do exercise, even if they (at present) don't happen as often as you think they should.

As for junk food ... my way of keeping a rein on it is not to forbid it entirely but to buy it in single servings. If I think hey, I'd love some chocolate after dinner, I will stop and buy (example) a Cadbury egg (69 cents at a local discount supermarket!) I will buy ONE. That way I can only eat ONE after supper. I've stopped buying cookies; for one thing, I can eat half the bag at a sitting, and secondly, if I want cookies that badly, I can at least expend the energy involved in making them myself. Somebody here mentioned making laziness work for you; it's amazing how often I think I'd like junk food but can't be bothered to go get some! So perhaps I'll have a bit of cheese and a few crackers instead.