Services brought to you by caffeine, nicotine, bacon, and hate.

[Signmaker]

Welcome to Heck, the friendly little 24 hour convenience store nestled in a small town in the Keystone State of Northeast America! Our third shift is normally staffed by a 28 year old bear-man named Signmaker, who is normally cheerful and friendly...unless he is taunted. Taunt the 3rd shift monster, and ye may never be heard from again...but CS Forums will hear all about it.

Enjoy your shopping experience, and remember, the dried out lard filled sugar coated hockey pucks we call donuts are on sale all with with your member rewards card!

[dalesys]

... Keystone State ... the dried out lard filled sugar coated hockey pucks we call donuts are on sale all with with your member rewards card!

Eat enough of those and you'll have kiester-stones.