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  • #16
    What I am finding so odd is that there are accusations that we made assumptions that our site was being trashed, and threw the first punch to start this mess.

    So, this person had been banned from another customer venting site, which by their own admission was their ONLY outlet, and was ironically named "cs.com" on exactly the same day as they were banned here, and a mod there had sent a message saying that
    she has her own personal problems, having fallen behind on her mortgage, that this was 'just as bad if not worse' as (my situation), and that I should be 'ashamed' for asking for help, as she would never 'stoop so low',
    when, oddly enough, after the member said that they "really do pray that (I) never have to go through an experience like the one I am currently enduring," I sent a PM saying:
    I may not have gone through exactly what you are dealing with, and I never will, but I have experienced my own share of pain and misfortune.

    I am this close to losing my home because my 45 year old husband died with no insurance 5 years ago, and I have been struggling on my own ever since.

    I have had all my utilities cut off in the past year.
    I have lost my phone and internet service.

    I have had creditors and collection agents calling me daily.

    I am under incredible pressure at my job.

    I have stress and pressure in my home life.

    Not once have I appealed to the membership to please help me keep my home.
    I have never started a charitable request asking for help from the membership, and have NEVER mentioned my troubles on the board outside of the mod forum.
    Yeah, it's not the same thing as (this person's situation), but it's pretty damn stressful thinking I could be homeless any day.

    So, as the old saying goes, walk in my shoes before rushing to judgment or making comparisons or assumptions that a person has no idea what it's like from your side of the glass.

    As a matter of fact, I am in the middle of a great deal of personal stress, so, if there are any more questions, please pass them on to Rapscallion or another of the mods, as I do not have the mental strength at the moment..
    Hmmm...so I jumped to a conclusion that I was being referred to???
    Another mod on a completley different forum which we shall call cs.com also mentioned mortgage issues???

    What a bizarre universe we live in.

    And, lest I be accused of "doctoring the PM," as happened on the FB page where it is being claimed that I jumped to my conclusions and was wrong about the site and mod being referred to, I do have a screenprint, but hesitate to post it as it would identify the person.
    Last edited by Ree; 06-28-2013, 03:52 AM.
    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

    Comment


    • #17
      Quoth Ree View Post
      And, lest I be accused of "doctoring the PM," as happened on the FB page where it is being claimed that I jumped to my conclusions and was wrong about the site and mod being referred to, I do have a screenprint, but hesitate to post it as it would identify the person.
      I think most of us have figured it out by now.

      But unlike the person in question, we are following the request of the MODs to not mention them.

      I've been on this site for what, five years now. I know full well that the MODs do not ban people willy-nilly. They have a good reason for doing so. (and violating Rule #1 so many times doesn't count ) This person definitely overstepped the boundaries.

      BTW, without going too much into the situation at hand, there is help out there that they could've accessed. The fact that they didn't suggests to me that they are more focused on the goal that caused them to get banned in the first place.
      Last edited by fireheart; 06-28-2013, 05:12 AM.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

      Comment


      • #18
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
        Looks like somebody is about to live the second part of my sig.
        This is being wildly and hilariously misrepresented elsewhere as you saying you hoped shit would hit this person in the face, and apparently this also means we wish this person harm. I'm...done commenting on it in that other place. Anything I say is going to blow up in my face.
        "Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
        Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook page

        Comment


        • #19
          Quoth Dentarthurdent View Post
          This is being wildly and hilariously misrepresented elsewhere as you saying you hoped shit would hit this person in the face, and apparently this also means we wish this person harm. I'm...done commenting on it in that other place. Anything I say is going to blow up in my face.
          Pretty much me as well. I'm also going to refrain from commenting further here since what I'm saying seems to be adding fuel to her fire and I'd rather not risk a ban on here. I do apologise for my actions though-they did appear to have been "helpful" but from her perspective, it appears to have been harmful. I'm not expecting help from the forum on this one-I can do this on my own.
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

          Comment


          • #20
            Have issue. Beg for money. Get told to stop begging. Get pissy. Happens all the time.

            Though I hear pan handlers make pretty wicked cash actually. So there ya go

            Comment


            • #21
              To put this into perspective, right now there's nobody on here currently who is in trouble over this issue.

              It's an emotive situation in two directions. I can't really blame people for being angry. However, we are currently reviewing the charitable donations rules as a direct result.

              Rapscallion

              Comment


              • #22
                Quoth Rapscallion View Post
                To put this into perspective, right now there's nobody on here currently who is in trouble over this issue.

                It's an emotive situation in two directions. I can't really blame people for being angry. However, we are currently reviewing the charitable donations rules as a direct result.

                Rapscallion
                Oh thank god.

                Also, just a question regarding the charitable donations, in the event of a major disaster, is posting links to general donation sites OK or is that going to be an issue? (ie after a major hurricane/bushfire/armageddon, someone posts a link to Red Cross/Salvation Army donation page)
                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                Now queen of USSR-Land...

                Comment


                • #23
                  Quoth fireheart View Post
                  ETA: Ree, Raps, you guys may want to have a look at the outside links....it's turning ugly.
                  We had tried to maintain some sense of privacy about who the member is, but many have guessed it. Obviously they guessed correctly, since that member has been confirming it on their blog and FB page with verbal slams directed at us.

                  I am not going to engage in a battle on their personal blog, and I really wish that nobody else would either.

                  This person really doesn't need the added stress, even if a lot of it is being brought on by "caring friends" who are sharing screenshots of this thread on our site. (Personally, if I had a good friend whose health was at stake and who should be trying to stay as stress free as possible, I think I would be trying to shield them from the stress, rather than fanning the flames. That's just me, though. Different strokes!)

                  So, yes, comments have been made in response to this thread and some posts contained in it. At this point, I see it as them simply trying to save face, since they know in their heart that they have made claims that are not exactly true, and they know the proof of that exists. They can't shut out the truth, so shouting it down with more embellishments is the next best thing.

                  I know what I have done and said, and I can sleep quite well, despite what words may be pushed in my mouth, or what actions I may be accused of.

                  When I knew I couldn't afford to donate to this person's cause, I offered up a prayer for them. I do not regret that, and I still intend to keep them in my prayers that things will turn around for them.

                  As I said, I do know what it is like to struggle financially. I also know about personal loss. (Today is actually the 5th anniversary of my husband's death.)
                  I know about struggling with health issues. (I have been in chronic pain for 26 years from a benign tumor on my sciatic nerve that was discovered when I was in labour 6 weeks prematurely, with my only child, and was left incapable of having anymore.) I know the fear of almost losing a child...twice, while I watched her struggle to get strong enough to come home, and I ached to just hold her in my arms free of wires, and then, having survived all of that, she fell through a plate glass door at the age of 8 and came within inches of being decapitated, stabbed through the heart, or having her kidney severed, but still being scarred for life all over her body. I know about worrying about a grandchild as we have been dealing for several weeks with a severe dog bite on my granddaughter's hand that almost resulted in the loss of a finger.

                  So, yeah, we all have our own personal crosses, and it is ludicrous to assume that, because we no longer wished to make an exception to allow panhandling from a member, it means that nobody cares, or wishes harm to that person.

                  As I said before, there have been a lot of assumptions coming from people accusing others of the same.

                  There has been a ridiculous claim that we have actually wished harm on that person because of a comment that was a crudely worded way of saying Karma will get you, which, again, was exactly what was said in reference to me when I posted my side of the story, and it was removed with a lie claiming that I had doctored the message, and had, myself, posted blatant lies.

                  This whole thing is just absurd.
                  Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth Ree View Post
                    So, yeah, we all have our own personal crosses, and it is ludicrous to assume that, because we no longer wished to make an exception to allow panhandling from a member, it means that nobody cares, or wishes harm to that person.
                    I 100% agree with you, even if you replace the word "panhandling" with other terms. (ie exception to allow people to post their commission sites in their signature. Just because they suddenly ban those doesn't mean that they don't care about your business)

                    Also, I offer to you for your story. I can imagine that it would've taken a lot to share that story.


                    There has been a ridiculous claim that we have actually wished harm on that person because of a comment that was a crudely worded way of saying Karma will get you, which, again, was exactly what was said in reference to me when I posted my side of the story, and it was removed with a lie claiming that I had doctored the message, and had, myself, posted blatant lies.


                    And I've now lost all sympathy for the other party.
                    I've seen your posts in the threads relating to the matter at hand and they were filled with nothing but support, suggestions for help and a sympathetic ear.

                    For them to turn around and claim otherwise is just....I have no words to describe it.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      I'm a cynical prick. But honestly there's people on here who have taken the time to help me with my own issues that I didn't make public, yet they gave their support.

                      As for that person. I could give a damn really

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth fireheart View Post
                        I do apologise for my actions though-they did appear to have been "helpful" but from her perspective, it appears to have been harmful.
                        It's all over their blog. Including cs usernames. I've lost a lot of sympathy. That's like, half-outing people.
                        "Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
                        Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook page

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Quoth Pimento View Post
                          I'm a cynical prick. But honestly there's people on here who have taken the time to help me with my own issues that I didn't make public, yet they gave their support.
                          Same here. Just because people don't actively contribute doesn't mean they don't care. >.>

                          It's like any form of charity really: some people will just lend their support, some will spread awareness (like I do for Beyondblue's KidsMatter program), some people will donate and some people will actively turn up to a stall on the day and go "Right, what can I do?"
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I know we're trying to make our site look all good and stuff.

                            But quite honestly if anyone spends time here they'd know that. I'm a fairly faceless member and have relieved lots of support and well wishes in private.

                            I'm not sure if I made the cut on the other site (don't care) but honestly. Do we really care what a spineless beggar posts?

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Quoth fireheart View Post
                              Also, I offer to you for your story. I can imagine that it would've taken a lot to share that story.
                              Thanks fireheart, but I wasn't posting to get sympathy or make it all about me.
                              I was just telling my story to illustrate how people can so wrongly judge another person, and how it is so easy to make assumptions without walking in their shoes for a bit.

                              Again, I do think this person's story is legitimate, and I am not attacking them for trying to get the money for their cause.
                              Because I think it is legitimate, I do worry about what is happening to their stress level right now, and as I said, I really wish the free for all on the blog would just stop.

                              My whole problem from the start of this mess has been the nastiness directed to this site, and, in turn, to me, even though names weren't named (it was obvious who was meant) because we said "enough" when it came to asking for money.

                              The whole thing has just spiralled into a huge ball of hatred.
                              It makes me very sad.
                              Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Ree View Post
                                Thanks fireheart, but I wasn't posting to get sympathy or make it all about me.
                                I hadn't heard your story before. If anything, I saw it as more empathic than garnering sympathy.

                                I've stopped the free-for-all-any further posts are just getting reported to the appropriate people and leaving it at that.
                                The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                                Now queen of USSR-Land...

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