Plaidman

[TawnyMyst]

I am on here often to read and kill dead time at work, I carry my phone with me there as well. I'm not on FB but am willing to give anyone who pm's me, my contact info. I am a willing ear to listen and someone to talk to if anyone needs. I am in Canada with unlimited everything and have an overseas plan on my home phone, if you're not in Canada. I am available anytime of the day or night if you need, I may not answer right away if I'm at work but will try to get back to anyone within an hour or two if that is the case. I just thought I would add my voice to those that will listen.

[HappyFun Ball]

Well Plaidman, I didn't know you but from your posts and FB page, I wish I had.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

The Swan
by Mary Oliver

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?

[RetailWorkhorse]

The details are something I don't want to discuss, but some of you already know them.

I wish to know why. I always wish to know why.

At the same time, I don't want to know.

But I want to know.

[Jester]

I wish to know why. I always wish to know why.

At the same time, I don't want to know.

But I want to know.

I think I can explain this, as I have struggled with this myself, not just in this situation, but in others as well. And tonight, I think I figured out why.

When you know what happened, as horrible as it may be, as much as the details may give you nightmares and waking visions you wish you could erase, you know what the source is, and you can go about exorcising that demon.

When you don't know, when there are a myriad of possibilities, it is just not possible to exorcise all those demons, as there are just too many of them to focus on individually.

At least, that's the way I see it. And of course, not everyone is like you or I....not everyone needs or even wants to know.

[Taboo]

Throwing myself onto the list of people who are happy to listen if anyone needs it. I actually think it would be good to put a sticky somewhere with various crisis numbers and then a list of members who have offered here to be sounding boards for others; it would be good to have everyone in one place like that, especially for future board members who may not know about this thread.

I've been through mental health problems, abusive family, and at one point checked myself into a mental institute because I couldn't trust myself to be alone. I'm younger than many of the others offering to listen, but I do have some experience with this sort of thing and I am absolutely sincere. If you PM me on here, I will get it in my email and can pass along other contact info, or you can ask me to add you on Facebook. I work freelance and am often available even when 'at work'.

[Bandit]

R.I.P. Plaidman.

You deserve to be away from pain, and I hope you have found it.

A song for you.

Godspeed


John

[RetailWorkhorse]

When you don't know, when there are a myriad of possibilities, it is just not possible to exorcise all those demons, as there are just too many of them to focus on individually.

Nail on the head right there, man, nail on the head.

[JoitheArtist]

Throwing myself onto the list of people who are happy to listen if anyone needs it. I actually think it would be good to put a sticky somewhere with various crisis numbers and then a list of members who have offered here to be sounding boards for others; it would be good to have everyone in one place like that, especially for future board members who may not know about this thread.

I second this idea! Goodness knows I've needed this kind of help a time or two in the past (as some of you can attest to) and likely will in the future. A reminder that help is available from people who care is always a good thing.

[Marmalady]

I've been reading all these offers of help, of a listening ear, and it strikes me that Plaidman's true legacy may be that the rest of us will always know we have someone caring for us... if that doesn't sound too hi-falutin'?... but I can't work out how to express it any better.

[Kara]

I'd be happy to endorse this idea. I will not name anyone, but today alone, I was communicating with people via cs chat (and private conversations in cs chat), cs.com (and PM's here), Facebook messaging, Skype messenger, and text messaging on my cell # (I got a call from a number I didn't recognize and wondered if someone was calling me to talk. It turned out to be a wrong number, but I wasn't opposed to the idea). At one point, all of these at the same time. I spent my day off by going to a 12:30 matinee and then volunteering my time to anyone who needed someone to talk to, for a wide variety of reasons.

To anyone who thinks I was swamped, understand that I enjoyed this. It's... I don't know, maybe a coincidence, maybe fate, who knows why, but last week I realized that I like to help others. That helping people makes me happy. I meant every word I said when I offered all my contact info to anyone who needs it. Seriously, if anyone lived anywhere near me (only 1 member does, as far as I know) I would be willing to meet for a cup of coffee (or tea) to talk. I didn't feel "bothered" at all to do any of this. Due to the hours of my shift (2-10 Central Standard Time), I may not be the most accessible all the time, but I stay up late so I've got plenty of time to catch up and respond.

What I'm trying to say is, that today I pretty much was a hotline. So if anyone wanted to make something "official," I'm in.

And the keyword in this is "volunteer." I expect nothing in return for this. It's enough that I can at least try to be there for others the way Plaidman was, that I can honor his memory by doing what he did for me so many times over the years.

[JoitheArtist]

I've been reading all these offers of help, of a listening ear, and it strikes me that Plaidman's true legacy may be that the rest of us will always know we have someone caring for us... if that doesn't sound too hi-falutin'?... but I can't work out how to express it any better.

It;s ok, that was expressed fine. Though I wish he hadn't had to leave a legacy yet (dammit Plaid, why???), it's been truly amazing to see the community pull together this week.

[RootedPhoenix]

It has been amazing.

I wish it was for happier reasons.

[Spork4pedro]

I didn't know Plaidman other than his posts on here. From those I could tell how kind and welcoming he was. I mean, I barely knew him at all and the instantI saw on someone's sig RIP PLAIDMAN I searched for the truth and began crying! My heart truly goes out to him and his friends/family both at home and online. I hope that he is in peace now.

I've never had to type and cry before. I've never realised how hard it is!

[Librarian]

When you know what happened, as horrible as it may be, as much as the details may give you nightmares and waking visions you wish you could erase, you know what the source is, and you can go about exorcising that demon.

When you don't know, when there are a myriad of possibilities, it is just not possible to exorcise all those demons, as there are just too many of them to focus on individually.

/Agree
*part whited out for a TMI warning - don't read if you're squeemish about suicidemethods*
When i know someone committed suicide and i don't know the method I see a generic body hanging from the ceiling in my mind. Because that's how someone i knew well ended his life.
This somehow makes it easier for me, what you said makes perfect sense, i tend to very strictly limit the way i think on it.