Five really bloody stupid things I've heard this week.

[Ahbugger]

1. "Hello I need a TV with a glass screen not a plastic one or the other stuff, I need it to be childproof... well spill... waterproof is what I mean. You know? Waterproof and glass."

Why don't you go outside, reboot, then come back in and try that again.

2. "Does the manufacturer's warranty cover it if I break it to get a new one?"

I'll give you three guesses.

3. "I need a camera that takes colour photographs in the dark but I don't want it to use lasers."



4. "I want to buy {small and insignificant item with low profit margin} unless you can give me half off I'll take my business elsewhere."

Bye then

5. "Do you sell coffee grinders? I want something to chop herbs with but I don't like herb choppers."

They're three aisles up on the left and you're off your fucking rocker.

[Sulhythal]

5. "Do you sell coffee grinders? I want something to chop herbs with but I don't like herb choppers."

They're three aisles up on the left and you're off your fucking rocker.

Actually, that's not so uncommon. I've often seen coffee grinders recommended as cheap alternatives when using whole dried herbs and spices (Basil, Peppercorns, etc...)

The already ground/powdered stuff tends to have lost some of the flavor compared to grinding at the time you use it.

Assuming, of course, that they were talking about FOOD herbs.

And the rest? ?_?

[PepperElf]

3. "I need a camera that takes colour photographs in the dark but I don't want it to use lasers."

I think the person means the red lights that some cameras have for auto-focus. What they probably want is a camera with a high ISO and... perhaps a tripod & a remote trigger. That way they can leave the shutter open longer but with less risk of jiggling the camera while the sensor collects light.

5. "Do you sell coffee grinders? I want something to chop herbs with but I don't like herb choppers."

I'm off my rocker then too. The last time I used my coffee grinder it was for peppercorn.

[Food Lady]

I think off her rocker because ekectronics stores don't sell coffee grinders? Anyway, #3 broke myy brain.

[Ahbugger]

I think the person means the red lights that some cameras have for auto-focus. What they probably want is a camera with a high ISO and... perhaps a tripod & a remote trigger. That way they can leave the shutter open longer but with less risk of jiggling the camera while the sensor collects light.

That would actually be quite sensible but this customer wanted genuine night-vision and didn't seem to grasp any of the technology behind it or why it might not be available in a consumer electronics store.

I'm off my rocker then too. The last time I used my coffee grinder it was for peppercorn.

Again that is quite sensible (although for preference I would use a pepper mill) but this lady was looking at feeding fresh herbs through a burr grinder. My bad though I should have been clearer about quite why I thought she was mental.

[Ironclad Alibi]

3. "I need a camera that takes colour photographs in the dark but I don't want it to use lasers."

I think the person means the red lights that some cameras have for auto-focus.

I think that person wants a camera to take a picture of someone in the dark without them knowing it.

[sms001]

All five. Although I've used a coffee grinder for herbs, pills, and peppercorns, "I don't like herb choppers" is a rather odd (and useless to Ahbugger) bit of information.

[fireheart]

1. "Hello I need a TV with a glass screen not a plastic one or the other stuff, I need it to be childproof... well spill... waterproof is what I mean. You know? Waterproof and glass."

If she wants a childproof TV, she's better off buying a plasma or LCD and hooking it up to the wall. at least kidlet can't pull it down.

2. "Does the manufacturer's warranty cover it if I break it to get a new one?"

Nobody ever said crooks were smart!

3. "I need a camera that takes colour photographs in the dark but I don't want it to use lasers."

Sounds like someone wants to spy on someone else without them knowing. Unless she gets a camera with nightvision, she's SOL.

4. "I want to buy {small and insignificant item with low profit margin} unless you can give me half off I'll take my business elsewhere."

Bye then

I have nothing to add to this.

5. "Do you sell coffee grinders? I want something to chop herbs with but I don't like herb choppers."

*blink blink* er what?

We do have a coffee grinder at home, but it resembles a blender.

[Kittish]

Again that is quite sensible (although for preference I would use a pepper mill) but this lady was looking at feeding fresh herbs through a burr grinder. My bad though I should have been clearer about quite why I thought she was mental.

Yea, fresh herbs through a burr grinder isn't gonna work real well. I can see where you'd look askance at that one.

[Pagan]

Generally, you use coffee grinders for spices, not herbs. You use a knife or mezzaluna for fresh herbs. A mezzaluna may be what she meant by "herb chopper" since that's how they're also referred to. She's never going to find a grinder for fresh herbs, since they don't exist. And why would you want to grind herbs anyway?

[ShinyGreenApple]

1. "Hello I need a TV with a glass screen not a plastic one or the other stuff, I need it to be childproof... well spill... waterproof is what I mean. You know? Waterproof and glass."

Or you could, you know, teach your kid not to use the TV as a target/napkin Honestly, I don't get it. When I was a kid (And now I sound so old, hehe!), there was no foodstuffs/drinks spilled or smeared all over the furniture and TV set.