"I'd love to shoot you!"

[Food Lady]

My coworker's recent facebook post:

While cashiering at [store] today I noticed the lady I was checking out staring at me. Feeling nervous I asked if I could help her, where she then decides to blurt out "I'd love to shoot you!" Word of advice to photographers, not everybody knows your lingo. Day made.

[sms001]

Too funny. Glad your coworker DID know the lingo.

[Caractacus_Potts]

A few years back I was shopping with my wife at Target a few weeks before Christmas and while we were separated I found a fireplace bellows I knew she would love to have. Since I had no idea where she was I slipped the bellows under my jacket and snuck up to the registers constantly scanning around on the lookout for my wife.

At the register, after one more careful look all around I quickly pulled out the bellows and said, "My wife is in the store somewhere and this is a surprise present for her, could you bag it as soon as you scan it?"

With a look of extreme relief the cashier complied while saying, "THANK GOD! I thought you had a gun and were about to rob me!"

[csquared]

With a look of extreme relief the cashier complied while saying, "THANK GOD! I thought you had a gun and were about to rob me!"

Give me your money or I will blow you away!

[wolfie]

Probably ticked off a few LP types for distracting them from "legitimate" targets. After all, you concealed merchandise under your clothing (highly suspicious, but in MANY but NOT ALL jurisdictions, it doesn't become shoplifting until you leave the store without paying) - then went to the register and paid for it. How were they to know that the concealment was to keep your wife from knowing what you were buying, rather than an attempt to steal it?

Note that in some jurisdictions, the act of concealing the merchandise is all that is necessary for the store to file shoplifting charges. Be safe - after spotting the "perfect gift", go to another department and get something bulky (blankets are good), come back, and carry the desired item UNDER the blanket. While the bellows wouldn't be visible, in the course of a normal transaction they would BECOME visible when the cashier picked up the blanket to scan it - you'd just be carrying a pile of stuff, and something has to be on the bottom. Be sure NOT to put the bellows INSIDE the folded blanket - that would be concealment.

That way, it's clearly visible that you are carrying unpaid merchandise. At the cash desk, tell the cashier that you don't want the blanket, it's just that you didn't want your wife to see you carrying the bellows.

[Caractacus_Potts]

Probably ticked off a few LP types for distracting them from "legitimate" targets. After all, you concealed merchandise under your clothing (highly suspicious, but in MANY but NOT ALL jurisdictions, it doesn't become shoplifting until you leave the store without paying) - then went to the register and paid for it. How were they to know that the concealment was to keep your wife from knowing what you were buying, rather than an attempt to steal it?

Note that in some jurisdictions, the act of concealing the merchandise is all that is necessary for the store to file shoplifting charges. Be safe - after spotting the "perfect gift", go to another department and get something bulky (blankets are good), come back, and carry the desired item UNDER the blanket. While the bellows wouldn't be visible, in the course of a normal transaction they would BECOME visible when the cashier picked up the blanket to scan it - you'd just be carrying a pile of stuff, and something has to be on the bottom. Be sure NOT to put the bellows INSIDE the folded blanket - that would be concealment.

That way, it's clearly visible that you are carrying unpaid merchandise. At the cash desk, tell the cashier that you don't want the blanket, it's just that you didn't want your wife to see you carrying the bellows.

I think the LP people will live and every jurisdiction requires proof that the person intended to deny the rightful owner compensation for the value of the item before it becomes theft. Very difficult to prove if you don't let the potential thief pass the sale-point with unpaid for merchandise (and by difficult I mean the potential thief would have to actually state they intended to steal the product for a successful prosecution - you don't get a lot of thieves willing to confess right off the bat and in my case there wouldn't have been anything to confess).

To go in the other direction if LP (or anyone other than the police) had physically detained me I could (I wouldn't but I could have) had them arrested for assault and wrongful imprisonment (in some jurisdiction that would be unlawful detention) and sued the hell out of the store in civil court to boot.

Of course all this is moot as I would never conceal merchandise in a similar manner again for the very real and legitimate reason that it was not my intent to frighten the salesperson and I would want to be careful not to do that in the future.