Deja Vu

[Ahbugger]

Me: Sales assistant rapidly running out of patience after a string of customers like this.

CC: Confused customer - there are lots of reasons to be confused. Some people do not speak English well, some people are clearly on strong medication, some people can be very childlike and lack any understanding of money or business. We try to accommodate people's genuine needs where we can. This guy just seemed to be a dick.

Me: Hi there, enjoying the hilarity of Washing Machine shopping?

CC: Hello, I want a Washing Machine.

Me: Sure, any idea what you're looking for or are you a bit at sea?

CC: Well I'm not too sure.

Me: Okay, well have you seen {respectable but not too pricey midrange model at £420}.

CC: No, no far too expensive, I was thinking maybe £150.

Me: Ah, brilliant well the good news is that at that end of the range it should be pretty simple to pick one out. The cheapest we have is this {crapbrand} for £160 but there is also this {almost-as-crapbrand} with £80 off which is also £160. The next step up is £220 which is quite a bit above your budget so it's probably just these two in this category.

CC: Well, what's the warranty? I was looking for one of the better brands that is a bit more reliable maybe with a 2 or 3 year warranty.

Me: I'm afraid the machines in your price range only come with a 1 year warranty. The 'better' brands you're talking about are {epicbrand}, {uberbrand} & {perfectbrand} but they start from £400 for one of their entry level models except {uberbrand} which starts from £640 and depending on the machine they come with two years warranty as a minimum.

CC: No, no far too much. I was thinking £150 or so.

Me: Then I think you're looking at {almost-as-crapbrand} being your best option unless you can be a bit more flexible with your budget.

CC: I'd like a washing machine, I'd like two or three years warranty and can you show me some of the better brands which are known for being more reliable please?

Me: Well we've just had a quick tour and decided that these two are the only ones in your budget...

CC: Yes but I'd like two or three years warranty as a minimum and I'd like to see some of the better brands that are a bit more reliable

Me: Err yes I've shown you those and you decided you didn't want to spend £500 on a machine.

CC: Oh no, £500 is way too much.

Me: And you decided £150 was more what you wanted to spend.

CC: Yes £150 is more like it.

Me: Well here you are: {crapbrand} and {almost-as-crapbrand}.

CC: Oh, well I was actually looking for something with a two or three year warranty...

Me: Excuse me I think my manager is trying to reach me telepathically. I'll leave you to browse for a bit. *runs and hides*

[Ironclad Alibi]

I'm glad to hear that the English have avoided the curse know as extended warranties. In the US, a sales person would have sold him the cheap washer, and a 2-3 year extended warranty to go with it.

I bought a new washer and dryer a couple of years ago, and every few months I get a letter from the manufacturer trying to sell me an extended warranty.

[Ahbugger]

I'm glad to hear that the English have avoided the curse know as extended warranties.

Sadly we haven't but I have enough slack in my targets that I can only 'recommend' them if I think they're useful to the customer.

Funnily enough since the chances are the cheap one will blow up within the first couple of years it is pretty much the same cost to insure a crap one as it is to buy and insure a better one. This guy would have ended up paying nearly £250 for the really crap one with 3 years on it, compared to a low mid-range one with 3 years for £300 or an upper-mid-range one with 5 years (included manufacturers warranty not one of our extended ones) at £400.

All my blethering and math aside his budget only just covered the worst machine in the shop (mostly held in stock so we can show people what they don't want to end up with) so I felt there was no point in even suggesting bolting on extra expenses. My company doesn't pay me enough to turn into one of those arsehole salesmen who tries to screw over every customer who comes into the shop or pressure sell shit that they obviously don't want or need.

[XCashier]

And at this point you reached out and slapped the SC upside the head, to see if you could get his needle unstuck...

Further proof that people only see and hear what they want to see and hear.

[MoonCat]

What he was really saying was that he wanted you to sell him one of the better brands that's worth £400 or £500, along with a 2 or 3 year warranty, for £150. Basically, "can't you give me a better deal, wah wah wah...?" without the balls to actually come out and ASK for it.

[Ahbugger]

What he was really saying was that he wanted you to sell him one of the better brands that's worth £400 or £500, along with a 2 or 3 year warranty, for £150. Basically, "can't you give me a better deal, wah wah wah...?" without the balls to actually come out and ASK for it.

Yeah there seems to be this myth going about that the shop display is a cunning ruse to ensnare the gullible and if you ask enough the sales assistant will take you to a magical room for *special* customers where we keep all the stock that is both better and cheaper.

[aulocksmith]

Yeah there seems to be this myth going about that the shop display is a cunning ruse to ensnare the gullible and if you ask enough the sales assistant will take you to a magical room for *special* customers where we keep all the stock that is both better and cheaper.

Otherwise known as the "Gimps Palace of Fun".

[EricKei]

There are places where bartering like that is not only acceptable, but expected. It seems that our OP does not work in one of those places. The SC, it seems, never figured that out x.x Or, he's just a skinflint.

[Ahbugger]

There are places where bartering like that is not only acceptable, but expected.

There are indeed and we do have a (ridiculously small) amount of leverage ourselves for customers who place large orders. I quite enjoy haggling tbh and like to see people feel like they've 'won' and got a bargain. Thing is I can do things like free express delivery, cheap warranties or a few quid off installation but that's a world away from a £350+ cash discount on a £500 machine. I don't know any large chain anywhere in Western Europe which routinely marks up their tickets to 300% over retail in order to knock it down on demand at the till.

Thinking about it if we were able to give that type of discount then the budget machine would go for under £40.

[sms001]

Me: Excuse me I think my manager is trying to reach me telepathically. I'll leave you to browse for a bit. *runs and hides*

So you weren't even a little tempted to see just how long you could run around the two price points over and over and over and over again? From your description, I'm guessing a bodily function of some sort is what it would have taken to get Dick to jump off that carousel.

[Ahbugger]

So you weren't even a little tempted to see just how long you could run around the two price points over and over and over and over again?

I probably should have

I guess after a whole day of hagglers I was just having a bit of a sense of humour failure. I could still laugh at:

SC: What do I get if I buy a Galaxy Tablet?
Me: Err.. a Galaxy Tablet.
SC: No what will you give me extra for buying it from you?
Me: Carrier bag ok?

but when it came to dealing with the King of discount demanders then I just wanted to bugger off for a cup of tea and a sit down.

Would have been interesting but I have a feeling I might have been there until we closed and possibly even a while after that.

[Chromatix]

Maybe I'm strange, but... I would buy things like a Galaxy Tablet because I wanted the Galaxy Tablet, not for some side benefit so cheap that they would give it away with an average-valued purchase.

Perhaps it's the same logic where you buy something you don't need but is on sale, in order to "save money".