Nice job assimilating the information

[The Braindead Live]

In my job at Big Box Store, we sell and service three product lines: the Techmo 690, the Gearbot 77, and the Widgetron 4000. On occasion, the service machines are temporarily unavailabe due to periodic service issues or for routine maintenance.

When the service device is not available for use, we post a sign at the service desk to inform the customer of the current situation and why it exists. For example, we posted a sign today that stated "The Gearbot 77 service device is down for maintenance. We cannot perform any services for the Gearbot 77 today. We apologize for the inconvenience." The following dialogue is a recreation of events that actually occurred.

SC: I see that the Gearbot 77 service device is not available to perform services today.
Me: <Good! SC has assimilated information.> Yes sir, that is the current state of affairs.
SC: So you can't service any Gearbot 77's today?
Me: <Good, but heading in a bad direction.> That is correct, sir.
SC: So, does that mean I can't get my Widgetron 4000 serviced today?
Me: <Soooo close, and yet so far.> That is not the case. The Widgetron 4000 service device is fully operational.
SC: Phew! I didn't want to drive over to the other Big Box Store location.
Me: <You were almost there; ALMOST there.> We'll be happy to service your Widgetron 4000 today. <By the way, good job on owning the crappiest product of our available service line. Had you put a fork in your wallet and purchased the Techmo 690, I'd not be suffering through this agonizingly banal exchange.>

[notalwaysright]

People really don't assimilate what they see and hear, it's scary. (More scary than the Borg) Common example from when I cut fabric. Person needs two yards, and the fabric they brought me is only a yard and a half. They have three options. Either they decide to try to make it work with less fabric, or they choose another fabric, or they give up on their project. That's it. Yet they will often stare at me uncomprehendingly when I say that there is not two yards. Or they ask me if I think it will work. I will never make that decision for them, so they have to think for themselves. It's hard to watch sometimes.

[The Braindead Live]

People really don't assimilate what they see and hear, it's scary. (More scary than the Borg)

The Borg don't scare me, as it appears that I already live in a world in which independent thought doesn't exist. Customers are drones that have lost the connection to the hive mind, and have unfortunately been left to wander toward my area of responsibility. They are lost and mindless, and I can't send them back to the Borg queen.

Please, Borg queen, take them back!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Please, Borg queen, take them back!

What makes you think the Borg Queen wants them back?

[The Braindead Live]

What makes you think the Borg Queen wants them back?

I guess you're right. Life has got to be tough when even the Borg Queen thinks one is too stupid to be a mindless drone.

[notalwaysright]

Yes, if I remember right the Borg wouldn't assimilate a species if it wouldn't somehow enhance the Borg through knowledge or tech or something. They'd probably ignore the SC unless he posed a threat. This is why the idea of zombies is scary, the have no motivation other than braaaains.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

Yes, if I remember right the Borg wouldn't assimilate a species if it wouldn't somehow enhance the Borg through knowledge or tech or something.

Yeah, that happened with the Kazon. The Borg wouldn't touch them because they felt that the Kazon would detract from their perfection.

If I were a Kazon, I think I'd be both relieved that the Borg had no interest in me, and insulted that they thought so little of me.