(That's a terrible title I know. Sue me.)
I have to say it’s taken longer for me to post this than I thought it would but at my shiney new (still temp) job at Mineral computers, I had a call from someone who was at very best brain-farting and at worst, “Mentally diminished”
DC: Dumb customer
Me: face-palming tech support
*Incoming call*
Me: Mineral support. Flea speaking. How can I help?
DC: Hi. I’ve had a Machine from Family support and it’s got a problem.
Me: okay. What’s the problem with it?
DC: It’s full of water and I can’t get rid of the water.
So at this point I’m thinking “Great. Family support idiot has chucked his drink all over his computer and instead of calling Family support, like they are told to 55 million times in their paperwork, they have called us because we’re stupid enough to put stickers on the machines that say “For support call Mineral computers on…”
Me: ...Right. Okay. What you’ll need to do is call Family support and lodge an insurance claim with them.
DC: Oh. So you won’t help me?
Me: There’s not a great deal I can do. I’ll log the case on our systems though, give you the case number to give to Family support though. That should speed things up a little.
DC: Fine. What information do you need?
Me: I’ll need the serial number. Do you know where to find that?
All Mineral serial numbers follow a set pattern. LAP- for laptops, PC- for PCs, TAB- for tablets and AIO- for all-in-ones.
DC: *Reads off a totally different serial number to what I’m expecting*
Me: Ah, right. No, I’ll need the one off the label that says “Mineral Serial number”
DC: There isn’t one of those
Me: ...okay. What’s your postcode?
DC: *Gives postcode and address*
Me: *fills out the ticket as best as I can* right. You’ll need to dry the machine out as best you can while you wait for Family support to get back to you. The best way to do this is open the lid and leave it somewhere inside the house that’s out of the way to dry
DC: The kitchen should be okay, right?
Me: if you can put it somewhere else that would be better but the kitchen should be fine as long s your careful.
DC: Well, it’s a bit big and heavy to move.
Me: Big and heavy? What brand is the machine?
DC: Hotpoint
Me: ...Sorry?
DC: It’s a Hotpoint.
Me: What kind of machine is it?
DC: *Reads off a model number* (I don’t know what it was but it’s a hotpoint so “Aquarius-Something”)
Me: It’s a washing machine??
DC: Well, yeah.
Me: You’ve come through to Mineral COMPUTERS support. You need to call Hotpoint.
DC: But this is the number I found on the internet for Family support problems.
Me: Yeah. For the computers.
DC: So you can’t help me?
Me: I can give you the number for Hotpoint *is already googling this*
DC: Fuck this. I’m gonna be making a complaint to Family Support for this. This is the 3rd time this piece of junk has broken down. I’m never getting one of these again. *Hangs up*
Me: Thank you for calling Mineral support. If you need any further help, please don’t hesitate to call someone else.
Manager who sits behind me: *chuckles* Flea, Be good!
I have to say it’s taken longer for me to post this than I thought it would but at my shiney new (still temp) job at Mineral computers, I had a call from someone who was at very best brain-farting and at worst, “Mentally diminished”
DC: Dumb customer
Me: face-palming tech support
*Incoming call*
Me: Mineral support. Flea speaking. How can I help?
DC: Hi. I’ve had a Machine from Family support and it’s got a problem.
Me: okay. What’s the problem with it?
DC: It’s full of water and I can’t get rid of the water.
So at this point I’m thinking “Great. Family support idiot has chucked his drink all over his computer and instead of calling Family support, like they are told to 55 million times in their paperwork, they have called us because we’re stupid enough to put stickers on the machines that say “For support call Mineral computers on…”
Me: ...Right. Okay. What you’ll need to do is call Family support and lodge an insurance claim with them.
DC: Oh. So you won’t help me?
Me: There’s not a great deal I can do. I’ll log the case on our systems though, give you the case number to give to Family support though. That should speed things up a little.
DC: Fine. What information do you need?
Me: I’ll need the serial number. Do you know where to find that?
All Mineral serial numbers follow a set pattern. LAP- for laptops, PC- for PCs, TAB- for tablets and AIO- for all-in-ones.
DC: *Reads off a totally different serial number to what I’m expecting*
Me: Ah, right. No, I’ll need the one off the label that says “Mineral Serial number”
DC: There isn’t one of those
Me: ...okay. What’s your postcode?
DC: *Gives postcode and address*
Me: *fills out the ticket as best as I can* right. You’ll need to dry the machine out as best you can while you wait for Family support to get back to you. The best way to do this is open the lid and leave it somewhere inside the house that’s out of the way to dry
DC: The kitchen should be okay, right?
Me: if you can put it somewhere else that would be better but the kitchen should be fine as long s your careful.
DC: Well, it’s a bit big and heavy to move.
Me: Big and heavy? What brand is the machine?
DC: Hotpoint
Me: ...Sorry?
DC: It’s a Hotpoint.
Me: What kind of machine is it?
DC: *Reads off a model number* (I don’t know what it was but it’s a hotpoint so “Aquarius-Something”)
Me: It’s a washing machine??
DC: Well, yeah.
Me: You’ve come through to Mineral COMPUTERS support. You need to call Hotpoint.
DC: But this is the number I found on the internet for Family support problems.
Me: Yeah. For the computers.
DC: So you can’t help me?
Me: I can give you the number for Hotpoint *is already googling this*
DC: Fuck this. I’m gonna be making a complaint to Family Support for this. This is the 3rd time this piece of junk has broken down. I’m never getting one of these again. *Hangs up*
Me: Thank you for calling Mineral support. If you need any further help, please don’t hesitate to call someone else.
Manager who sits behind me: *chuckles* Flea, Be good!
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