Who now?

[Shangri-laschild]

While answering the switchboard:

Me: Hello, ***** College
Her: Deb?
Me: Who are you trying to reach? (I need a last name or at least a department)
Her: Nancy?
Me: What's her last name?
Her: *click*

I'm not sure what prompted that call but at least she didn't get pissy and it didn't take very long

[Skoobeedu]

Ah, God the switchboard. The bane of my existence.

Who calls a hospital and says "Yeah, can I talk to Kim?"

Kim who? Patient? Employee? Visitor? Weird guy hanging around outside?

Then they get snippy with you when you ask for a last name. Or what department they work in.

Even better is when some kid calls up and says "Can I talk to my mom?"

Me: "Uhh, who's your mom?"

Them: "My mom."

If that's all the information you have, then I guess not.

[JustADude]

Here's one I get at least once every couple days, almost EXACTLY like this:


Me: Thanks for calling ******, this is The Dude, can I get your full 10-digit phone number, area code first?
-
Them: I need to talk with JohnDoe!
-
Me: Are you trying to reach someone at the customer service center or at a store?
-
Them (getting snippy already): I'm trying to call ******, who are you?!
-
Me (resigned): I'm at the regional customer service office, but I can get you their direct line if you tell me which store you need to get in touch with.
-
Them (durrrrrrr): I'm trying to call ******!!!!!!111!!!11!1!!1eleventy!11!1!!
-
Me (as if explaining to a small child): Yes, sir/ma'am, I know. I AM with ******. The line you dialed goes directly to the regional customer service office, where we handle order-taking so the stores can make pizza faster. If you need to talk to someone at a local store I can give you their direct line, but I need to know which number to give you, so would you please tell me what city you're in.
-
Them (Like I'M the idiot): The one in ####! God!
-
Me (Sadistic Bastard Mode: ENGAGED): Alrighty then. I have the number right here, Sir/Ma'am. Before I can give it to you, though, I need to know: is this matter urgent?
-
Them: Hu-wha?
-
Me: Are you calling about something important and time-sensitive?

From there, depending on how they answer, I either tell them to get fucked (in nicer terms) or just give them the number.




To contrast this, here's how the nice people get treated:

Me: *schpeel*
-
Them: Could I speak with JohnDoe, please?
-
Me: Are you trying to reach someone at the customer service center or at a store?
-
Them (puzzled): Oh, is this not the location in ####?
-
Me (cheerfully): No, sir/ma'am, we're at a regional office. If it's urgent, though, I can get you their direct line, or if not I can pass a message for you^.

See, much faster, smoother, and they get to pass a note even if I'm not allowed to give them the number.



^NOTE: We are not required, nor encouraged, to use the internal messaging system to pass these kinds of messages.

[Sonoma]

Way back when, when I would show my horse in 4-H shows, you quickly learned to get a parent's attention. Yelling "Mom!" in that situation results in 50 heads turning to you, but never the one you want, so you quickly learned to call for a parent by their actual name. Worked every time.