Darwin, you LIAR!

[Polenicus]

This one just made me shake my head. It happened not more than a few minutes ago.

Currently, our college campus is Locked Up. capitalize this because this isn't the usual locked up, which means students still have their after hours lab, people are in and out, contractors are buzzing about, etc. This is Christmas. The only people allowed to be here are staff, everything is well and truly closed.

It's GLORIOUS. It's a sterling example of how well this place would run if they only would stop letting students in here.

But that's besides the point. To get in, even staff members need the assistance of security. This one staff member had hid her Christmas presents in her office at work, and needed to come get them. Alright, nothing sucky or burpy there, it's actually a good spot to hide them from the kids.

So, she comes to the campus, and has two options to get in:

1. Go to the Security office, talk to the nice man at the desk (Me), and arrange to be let in. Present ID. Go to the door she wishes to enter, and be let in by the guard I dispatch to meet her.

2. Go to the door she wishes to enter from, call from her cell phone or one of the call boxes situated at every major entrance. Be met by the guard I dispatch. Flash her ID, and be let in.

Easy, right?

So, she decides on #1, apparently. She rolls up to the security office, with our big blue pretty backlit awning.

But wait! There is an impediment to her plan! There is some sort of machiavellian device blocking her access to the Security ofiice, and therefore her kids' presents!

This sinister device is known as a 'door'.

Now, you may think that this is a legitimate issue, as I just said all the doors on campus ar elocked, right? Not quite. Security is in a separate building. The door to the Security office is not locked, as the Security office is staffed 24/7/365. It's never locked. In fact, it CAN'T be locked. Gentle breezes have opened this door.

However, our heroine is daunted by this menacing edifice! But, she can see inside thye window... hurray! She can see the nice security guard (me) just on the other side, working away at the control desk! Surely he can save her from this terrifying horror?

What to do? Ah, a bell ringer! She pushes it... but the guard doesn't react! This button has been painted over, and is encrusted with age and disuse... that she managed to get it to push in at ALL impresses me.

But, back to our heroine's plight. She is faced with an impassable barrier, with salvation so close at hand. What should she do? Tug the door handle? Madness! For surely only death and destruction lie along that path! Tap on the glass to get the guard's attention? NO! For the glass must be hooked to high voltage!

No, she pulls out her cell phone and calls the security desk. At which point, I told her to go to the entrance she wished to use, and wait for a guard, and we proceeded with the #2 plan.

So, she came all the way to the security office, found it tucked away, was aware there was someone inside, and was defeated.

By an unlocked, unlatched, possibly slightly ajar door.

Lucky for us she's responsible for helping to teach our future leaders!

[wraiths_crono]

...ow? and these are the people ive spent... well we wont go there, but money on to teach me.... I want a refund!

[RetailWorkhorse]

.....

*Finds a nice hard wall to bang head on*

*Bangs head on wall*

[raw456]

As long as she doesn't try to claim compo for the "emotional distress" she suffered.

Honestly - how difficult could it be to... I dont know....say....KNOCK ON THE DOOR!

I weep for the students she teaches (and her kids)

[mattm04]

And to think she teaches people who next step is a job. Scary.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

No, Darwin was dead on.

This is what happens when natural selection is thwarted by our artificial environment which rewards stupid, unfit troglodytes by allowing them to breed and survive.

In the wild, people like this wouldn't survive a day. They'd never be born. They'd stand there on their cell phone till they were eaten by a sabre tooth, too stupid to act.

And here is where Darwin comes in: all this unfit, substandard DNA is turning our gene pool into a evolutionary tar pit of unfit specimens breeding MORE unfit specimens. Because that is exactly how it works when natural selection is not allowed to do what it's supposed to do.

I daresay the human race's current level of fitness pretty much proves the guy right.

Give it a few years. Another generation or so, we'll pretty much be completely turned into this:

[Chromatix]

I agree on the "evolutionary tarpit" theory. See Idiocracy for the logical conclusion.

But I also don't see a solution - at least, not one that our present rights/ethics system would tolerate. The nearest ethical solution would be the old "take the safety labels off everything and deny the lawsuits".

An interesting point to look up would be Spartan society. Anyone who's watched 300 will know what I'm on about.

[JLRodgers]

I've been defeated by a door before...

... but at least I wasn't the only one with a problem. It was a metal door that had a metal frame.... let's just say the probably 50ºF+ temp difference from inside and out caused the door to be stuck so much that I pulled on it (it was supposed to be pulled) so hard that the top of the door was pulled out almost six inches yet the bottom wouldn't open.

[Chromatix]

My balcony door has that problem - except that it isn't metal, so it's simply swollen wood. A good kick in the right place frees it up.

One of my windows has the opposite problem, too. It needs a whack to close properly, so that all of the latches line up, but is easy to open.

[PepperElf]

troglodytes

i dunno... maybe a few more troglodytes - or at least a TROGDOOOOOR! would actually help get rid of the idiots... if let loose to eat or burninate them at least.

[lastofthesummerwine]

Don't Take That "Swipe" Command Literally!

Translated into a retail understanding: the more bucks behind the credit card, the greater the propensity of the individual carrying it to be unable to use it in a transaction.

Why, oh, why will people select the flipping EBT option if THEY DON'T KNOW what the blooming hell it means? Oh, yeah-- it's that titanium food stamp card they're wielding!

[Kyree]

I agree on the "evolutionary tarpit" theory. See Idiocracy for the logical conclusion.

But I also don't see a solution - at least, not one that our present rights/ethics system would tolerate. The nearest ethical solution would be the old "take the safety labels off everything and deny the lawsuits".

An interesting point to look up would be Spartan society. Anyone who's watched 300 will know what I'm on about.

Or come up with ways to sterilize people at a very young age that's reversible if they pass tests and qualifications.

[Chanlin]

Thats a good example of psychology at work there

Had a similar situation on campus, ironically for a psych class. I show up and around 10 people are standing out in the hall. I look at the door, try it, it's locked. Look at the door up the hall that has the same room number on it, try it, it is unlocked and walk in. The prof had to go outside to tell everyone else to come in the room.