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Today, I have *no* freaking idea why, but it was my day to deal with a bunch of loons.
Loon, The First
BG: You've all seen the commercials for *BIGNAMEBRAND* exercise machines? Pay $19 dollars a month, give all your fat clothes to your fat friends? Okay, you're up to speed.
*answering phone* Thank you for holding, this is MiddleofNowhere, how may I help you?
Loon: Yeah, you guys sell *bignamebrand* exercise equipment there?
MON: Yes, Sir, we do.
Loon: Can I get a number for them, I've got a complaint.
MON: Is there something I can do, sir? Did you buy a *bignamebrand* exercise machine and there's a problem with it?
Loon: NO! I want their number because these folks called me at home and sent me something and I don't want it!
MON: Okay, sir. So you don't actually own a piece of *bignamebrand* equipment, you just want to contact the company?
Loon: *takes a deep breath* Yeah, they sent me something in the mail yesterday. I didn't ask them to send anything to me. I called the number on the thing they sent me and told them never to contact me again and then this morning I get a call from them again. I'm gonna call them and tell them I'm goint to sue them because they can't be calling me for something I never asked for. Don't they know I have a torn rotator cuff? I'm not sure if you know what that is but it's so painful. I got it at my job years ago but I never told my boss about it because I didn't want to bother him. So I probably could've gotten workman's comp but like I said I didn't want to bother him. So I went to the doctor to have him look at it and then my doctor killed himself so I never got it fixed. Don't this company know I have a torn rotator cuff? It's like they're taunting me with this equipment. I can't use it, the pain is unbearable. Do you know what it's like to have a torn rotator cuff? How'd they get my address to send me something that I don't want. **rabble, rabble, rabble - for SIX MINUTES STRAIGHT! I timed it!**
MON:
Ummm...sir?
Loon: What!
MON: Let me see if I can find a number for that company, just one moment.
Then I got on the internet, found the 800 number for the company and gave it to the guy. But not before one of my coworkers mistakenly picked up the line and got another 5 minutes worth of the same diatribe.
Loon, The Second
This guy was actually in the store for at least 4 hours. He kept going around to different co-workers (and me) and tying them up with a 20 minute diatriabe about how he understood why you'd pay $300 for a good jacket but didn't we know he just lost his job and what kind of deal would we cut him? When myself and several other coworkers pointed out that the $300 jacket he was talking about didn't exist (all our coats are at least half price right now and tagged as such). Then he'd go on another 10 minutes about how liked one brand of coats so much and another brand was crap and that he was just spreading his truth wherever he could.
The best part, when I saw him later he'd filled out an application to work at our store and was tying up a manager with one of his price-lamenting diatribes.
Loon, The First
BG: You've all seen the commercials for *BIGNAMEBRAND* exercise machines? Pay $19 dollars a month, give all your fat clothes to your fat friends? Okay, you're up to speed.
*answering phone* Thank you for holding, this is MiddleofNowhere, how may I help you?
Loon: Yeah, you guys sell *bignamebrand* exercise equipment there?
MON: Yes, Sir, we do.
Loon: Can I get a number for them, I've got a complaint.
MON: Is there something I can do, sir? Did you buy a *bignamebrand* exercise machine and there's a problem with it?
Loon: NO! I want their number because these folks called me at home and sent me something and I don't want it!
MON: Okay, sir. So you don't actually own a piece of *bignamebrand* equipment, you just want to contact the company?
Loon: *takes a deep breath* Yeah, they sent me something in the mail yesterday. I didn't ask them to send anything to me. I called the number on the thing they sent me and told them never to contact me again and then this morning I get a call from them again. I'm gonna call them and tell them I'm goint to sue them because they can't be calling me for something I never asked for. Don't they know I have a torn rotator cuff? I'm not sure if you know what that is but it's so painful. I got it at my job years ago but I never told my boss about it because I didn't want to bother him. So I probably could've gotten workman's comp but like I said I didn't want to bother him. So I went to the doctor to have him look at it and then my doctor killed himself so I never got it fixed. Don't this company know I have a torn rotator cuff? It's like they're taunting me with this equipment. I can't use it, the pain is unbearable. Do you know what it's like to have a torn rotator cuff? How'd they get my address to send me something that I don't want. **rabble, rabble, rabble - for SIX MINUTES STRAIGHT! I timed it!**
MON:
Ummm...sir? Loon: What!
MON: Let me see if I can find a number for that company, just one moment.
Then I got on the internet, found the 800 number for the company and gave it to the guy. But not before one of my coworkers mistakenly picked up the line and got another 5 minutes worth of the same diatribe.
Loon, The Second
This guy was actually in the store for at least 4 hours. He kept going around to different co-workers (and me) and tying them up with a 20 minute diatriabe about how he understood why you'd pay $300 for a good jacket but didn't we know he just lost his job and what kind of deal would we cut him? When myself and several other coworkers pointed out that the $300 jacket he was talking about didn't exist (all our coats are at least half price right now and tagged as such). Then he'd go on another 10 minutes about how liked one brand of coats so much and another brand was crap and that he was just spreading his truth wherever he could.
The best part, when I saw him later he'd filled out an application to work at our store and was tying up a manager with one of his price-lamenting diatribes.
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