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THREE (SCs) for the price of one!

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  • THREE (SCs) for the price of one!

    Whereby SC, we mean stupid. And by "stupid" we really mean "blazing idiot."

    ALL of these three customers I encountered on Saturday, but was too worn out to post until today.

    How's THAT For Memory, huh?

    I showed a dim-witted fellow to our selection of paper cutters and trimmers, which he insisted on calling "cutting boards" even though cutting boards are very different products. He didn't have any further questions, so I left him alone.

    Perhaps ten minutes later I saw him coming back in the front door. Turns out he'd left his car keys in the store.

    SC: I think I left them by the cutting boards []. Where are those again?

    Me: Aisle 4

    I followed him over to the aisle, and sure enough, the keys were right there in plain sight.

    SC: Knew it! How's THAT for memory, huh???

    Actually, not NEARLY as good as you seem to think.

    1) You forgot that they are called "paper cutters" despite my very recent explanation.

    2) You forgot where they were, even though you were just there.

    3) You forgot your fucking keys! That ALONE speaks volumes about your alleged memory, dumbass.

    I wish I could have said that to his face. Instead I had to settle for telling Melissa as soon as the guy was out of earshot.

    Oh, and as a fun little sucky side bonus, he'd pulled down several of the smaller trimmers off their pegs and left them lying on the shelf instead of putting them away.


    Furniture Carryout, Part 1

    I was carrying out a small chair for a very nice older woman. She did nothing wrong at all, but just as we walked outside a car alarm went off and kept going off.

    Annoying, but common. So what's the problem?

    Turns out that the moron driver had left his two young children in the car while he/she went to shop after setting the alarm. Therefore, if they moved around too much (and they did), the alarm would go off.

    That is just.....moronic. And even the kids agreed with me, because one of them got out and came into my store to find his parent to shut the alarm down.

    What an idiot.


    Furniture Carryout, Part 2

    Guy #2 buys a fairly large chair. To my relief, as I carried it out, I was relieved to see he had a Dodge Caravan. Far too many people have been buying furniture is small to mid-sized sedans lately.

    Now, for those of you unfamiliar with late-model Caravans, all the windows except the windshield and front door windows are tinted, so you can't see what in the vehicle.

    Which meant that I couldn't until the last moment see that there were FIVE ADULTS CRAMMED IN THERE ALREADY!!!!

    So not only was this ass going furniture shopping while five other people were cooped up in his van, he expected to be able to fit furniture into his van with five other people already cooped up in it!!!!!!!

    I can't begin to understand just what the fuck this guy was thinking. WE ended up having to cram the chair into the small space between the middle bench seat and the side sliding door. Even now it boggles my mind why this ass decided it'd be a good idea to furniture shop when he had company in the van.
    "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

    RIP Plaidman.

  • #2
    WE ended up having to cram the chair <snip>
    What's this "we", kemosabe??? There's 5 people in the van - they can get out and put it in!
    When I said "From my research", what I actually meant to say was "Made shit up" - from a thottbot thread

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    • #3
      Because God forbid they actually have to do any work.
      "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

      RIP Plaidman.

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