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Do not try this at home (Very graphic - WAY TMI)

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  • Do not try this at home (Very graphic - WAY TMI)

    Disclaimer: This was told to me by my sister yesterday. I'm pretty sure she was serious, but with my family you never can tell.

    My sister works for the urology department at a major hospital. She was up visiting yesterday afternoon and told me this doozy about one of their more unusual patients.

    Gentleman is admitted to the casualty department (ER). He had apparently decided his testicles needed lubricating. Please not not his scrotum his freaking testicles.

    Of course to accomplish that he needed access to them. So he took a pair of nail clippers and opened up a small hole. A hole just big enough for the nozzle of the can of WD40. Yes he injected his scrotal sack with WD40.

    Unsurprisingly this caused him some minor discomfort. Hence the trip to the hospital. The attending doctor wasn't sure of the correct procedure in this case, so he called a senior consultant. The consultants reply "Oh yes, I've had this before*. That time the patient used sunflower oil. Unfortunately it made it's way into his bloodstream and helped form an embolism."

    The recomended treatment ws to make around two dozen small insicions all around his sack, then force saline into the hole he made himself. Unfortunatley, it was too little too late. He was re-admitted 3 weeks later as gangreen had set in to his penis, and most of it had to be removed.




    On the bright side, at least he'll never need to buy a watering can.

    *He's had this before. What in the name of... of...?

  • #2
    I've just done an involuntary crossing of the legs oooh.
    "Light a fire for someone and he will be warm all day,
    set light to someone and he will be warm for the rest of his life" Sir Samuel Vimes

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

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    • #3
      I'm heading off to work now, but I might tell the story of the man and the mower when I finish.

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      • #4
        There is a better than 95% chance that this is a true story. I forget which site I've seen similar stories on.. probably on http://www.studentdoctor.net/. There is one about an elderly farmer who was determined he no longer needed his testicles.... so he removed one with a device used to remove said danglies from bulls. He told the doctors to remove his other one, or he was going to do it himself. I think the doctors believed him and just removed it.

        Some people either through chemical imbalance or something, just get a wild hare and do the strangest things to their bodies.
        Make a list of important things to do today.
        At the top of your list, put 'eat chocolate'
        Now, you'll get at least one thing done today

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        • #5
          I not only do not doubt the story, but I also have no doubt that a urologist who has been in the business for a while has seen it before.

          People do some of the strangest things to themselves fo no predictable reason.

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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          • #6
            Remember Scrubs?

            IIRC on that show they had a 'butt box' ie; stuff they've pulled out of people's butts in the ER. Included things like whole lightbulbs etc.

            Turns out most ERs in large cities have the same, to scare the newbies.
            Last edited by Salted Grump; 04-26-2010, 06:53 PM. Reason: Forgot to finish comment

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            • #7
              Ew ew ewwwwwwwwwww. People are so strange.

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              • #8
                Nice!

                Thats actually new to me and I worked in the Urological Surgery dept for about 4 years. Though I have had several chances to pull things outta penis/vaginas/ureters and also assited with several gangrenous testes/scrotums and penis removals.

                Oh! The things you will see.

                On a different note....Im guessing/hoping that guy was a little.....off

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                • #9
                  I wonder what he thought this self-procedure would accomplish for him? Make his lil spermies swim faster?
                  Dull women have immaculate homes.

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                  • #10
                    What the heck did the guy use for anaesethic? I'd imagine that the scrotum would be very thin and therefore it would hurt like crazy.
                    Still....I'm not even male and I shuddered at that.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #11
                      AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!



                      Why would you DO that! Who 'decides' that their TESTICLES need to be lubed!? Did he want to use them for relaxation like those Chinese meditation balls!?

                      Kill me now, please.
                      "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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                      • #12
                        I'm thinking dementia of some sort.

                        If they were meant to be lubricated in there, there'd be a grease fitting.
                        Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

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                        • #13
                          I'm guessing someone who does something like that gets an automatic psych consult?
                          Don't wanna; not gonna.

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                          • #14
                            So... with this incident of misapplied petroleum products recently in mind, this morning I find the following in RSS:
                            http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/28/...e-its-premium/
                            Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth HYHYBT View Post
                              So... with this incident of misapplied petroleum products recently in mind, this morning I find the following in RSS:
                              http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/04/28/...e-its-premium/
                              Why would anybody do that???? I have once been so unlucky to ride a motorcycle with a leaky tank for 100 kilometres and I can still remember how it felt (and how long the rash lasted). I'll not recommend petrol as skincare, especially not THERE .

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