I was five when I was taught this

[spark]

I recently e-mailed a customer to ask for their measurements. The e-mail looked pretty much like this:

"Hi there, I'm ready to start work on your project, I just need a few measurements first. I need the following:
Hand width - measure from your wrist to the tip of your longest finger.
Hand length - measure across your palm, not including your thumb.
Arm circumference - measure around your arm just below the elbow."

Their response looked like this:

"I dont know how 2 measure, do u have a tutorial that can show how?"



If I didn't know that English was their first language I'd wonder if they hadn't somehow completely misunderstood what I was asking for. But for heaven's sake, the instructions are RIGHT THERE. You measure from your wrist to the tip of your finger! What kind of tutorial could possibly be created for doing that?

[Ironclad Alibi]

What kind of tutorial could possibly be created for doing that?

The classic response is: "You have to draw them a picture." So sad.

[malmalthekiller]

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can work with you anymore."

[spark]

Actually other than this one moment of shining stupid they've been a really great customer. A little over-fond of text speak, but otherwise quite easy to deal with. Which makes this all the more boggling, really.

[dalesys]

..."I dont know how 2 measure, do u have a tutorial that can show how?"...

"First, you need to complete the Scarecrow's Quest."
[/IfIOnlyHadABrain]

[MoonCat]

"First, you get a measuring tape...(repeat original instructions)"

Customer's next email:

"The tape is all stuck 2 my arm, what do I do now? Thx"

[Julesy]

"First, you get a measuring tape...(repeat original instructions)"

Customer's next email:

"The tape is all stuck 2 my arm, what do I do now? Thx"

You forgot the step in which you have to explain to her what measuring tape is (best to include a picture or three), a few addresses where she can buy it, directions to those shops, and a floor plan of the shops.

[Magpie]

I'm actually going to point out that I have a really hard time taking measurements. I can't see an online tutorial helping, but I tend to leave too much slack in the tape (it doesn't bite in at all when I do it to myself). I know that I do this, but I'm not sure how much to correct without over-correcting...

Also, they probably wanted the pretty pictures that come in the catalogues and how-to-sew books that show the lines of exactly where to measure. I probably wouldn't send that e-mail, (for starters, I'd use English), but I'd do better if you did have one.

[Captain Trips]

I read it differently. Instead of "I don't know how to get the measurements you need," I read it as "I don't know what 'measure' means - how do I 'measure' something?"

In other words, I assumed the customer is dumber than anyone else assumed?