Both of these are management brain burps

[smileyeagle1021]

First one-
There is an internal job ad for Team Leads, at the top under job responsibilities it says
TLS duties are broken down into three areas
1. supervise
2. mentor
3. lead by example
4. ease flow of communication

... apparently though being able to count to four isn't a job responsibility

Second one-
pop-up message on my screen, message from management.
"We are offering early outs, if your shift ends before midnight please IM the floor manager with the time you would like to get off"
Okay, seriously... and you expect my mind not to go into the gutter.

[lobo94]

Second one-
pop-up message on my screen, message from management.
"We are offering early outs, if your shift ends before midnight please IM the floor manager with the time you would like to get off"
Okay, seriously... and you expect my mind not to go into the gutter.

Cue Whiskey's Lady Gaga pic, Pee-Wee Herman jokes circa 1991, and George Michael's 1998 bust.

[Pagan]

Cue Whiskey's Lady Gaga pic, Pee-Wee Herman jokes circa 1991, and George Michael's 1998 bust.

You forgot Prince's song "Gett Off".

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Second one-
pop-up message on my screen, message from management.
"We are offering early outs, if your shift ends before midnight please IM the floor manager with the time you would like to get off.

Question is: HOW are you going to get me off?

Or at least that's probably the first thing that would pop in my mind . . .

[MadMike]

... apparently though being able to count to four isn't a job responsibility

I actually had to look at that three or four times before I got it. :anon:

"We are offering early outs, if your shift ends before midnight please IM the floor manager with the time you would like to get off"

One day, years ago at my current job, we were running low on space on the network, and our project leader decided to free up some space by compressing, aka "zipping" any documents and scripts that hadn't been used recently. She sent out a voicemail to the entire team letting us know what she had done, and told us that if we need to access any of those documents, to let her know "and I'll unzip you."

Our team leader was a smartass, and had quite the warped sense of humor. She probably could have got him, if not the whole team, in trouble for sexual harrassment for some of the pranks and jokes if she wasn't such a good sport. This time, he waited until she left her desk to go to a meeting, and had each of us leave her a voicemail that said, "Unzip me, please!" in a sultry voice. I think he even got one of the other women to do it.

When her meeting was scheduled to end, we stood where we could see both her desk and the door to the meeting room she was in. We saw her leave the room, go to her desk, look down as she was obviously checking her messages. A few seconds later, we heard her yell, "You jerks!"

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

TLS duties are broken down into three areas
1. supervise
2. mentor
3. lead by example
4. ease flow of communication

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

[Pagan]

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

I'm glad I'm not the only that was thinking that!

[Imogene]

Our chief weapon is surprise

Our chief weapon would be the one we use most often, so, he was still absolutely right when he started adding other weapons...

[smileyeagle1021]

Question is: HOW are you going to get me off?

I should have said "I'd like to get off right now, send Steven, he sounds like he has a talented tongue"
But, then I probably would have gotten fired.

[Whiskey]

Cue Whiskey's Lady Gaga pic, Pee-Wee Herman jokes circa 1991, and George Michael's 1998 bust.

I'm right here, what?