The Emperor's New Sox

[Dave1982]

Had another one of those moments today where you can't even formulate a decent response because the question you were asked was phenomenally stupid.

A customer asked me is we had book sox (stretchy fabric textbook covers) in CLEAR.

Yes that's right, she wanted CLEAR FABRIC.

And no, she didn't mean she wanted the clear acetate stuff we sell; she specifically did NOT want that.

I figure if anyone makes clear fabric than Hugh Hefner probably owns the patent!

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Well, what you do is, you hold up your fingers as if you're holding the product, and tell her "yes." If she can't see it, you tell her it's made of really fine fabric.

I'm assuming she wanted to be able to see the book cover through the fabric.

Love the title of your post.

[MoonCat]

Well, there's some pretty sheer nylon available, but I doubt they use it make book covers!

[poofy_puff]

Did she pitch a fit and blame you because the product does not exist?

[PepperElf]

i guess someone can take some clear thread and start weaving... but yeesh.

[Dave1982]

Did she pitch a fit and blame you because the product does not exist?

No, thankfully.

[XCashier]

Yes that's right, she wanted CLEAR FABRIC.

We sell chiffon, organdy and georgette that're all rather transparent; you can read the bolt label through the fabric. You could probably get a similar effect with tulle. These fabrics are not glass-pane clear, though, and they'll tear very easily. I would not recommend them for book covers.

[spark]

I'd love for there to be a truly clear fabric. Oh well.

[Shalom]

I'd love for there to be a truly clear fabric. Oh well.

I vaguely remember reading a story, probably in one of Analog's annual April Fools parody editions, wherein a fire-and-brimstone type TV preacher hired a pet scientist who came up with a kind of self-replicating nanomachine that "ate" fabric and extruded other fabric that was a dull dirty gray, and then seeded the USA with these nanomachines so that they'd spread all over like a virus and everyone (especially all women) would be forced to wear dull dirty gray long sleeved garments that didn't show any skin at all, so they wouldn't tempt men to sin. Something like that, anyway; it was a very long time ago and I don't remember the exact details.

(spoiler alert: Someone foxed him by discovering that the new fabric was transparent to polarized light if you got the azimuth just right, and slipped a few filters over the spotlights next time he went on TV... )

(This ring a bell with anyone, or am I just dreaming?)

[Aethian]

I think I remember something like that Shalom but I thought that was part of a tv movie? Dunno anymore but did see something like that on tv once.