Don't be a Dumb Ass

[Gamegirl]

Do all of you get this question "Do you work here?" while you are at work? seriously, that has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever been asked.

Let's do the math. I am wearing a name tag and am dressed exactly like the cashiers up front (and it should be patently obvious that they work here, it isn't as if we let random customers work the registers). I'm also holding an RF gun, which isn't exactly the sort of thing you can buy at Wal Mart. I am pretty sure these same customers have seen me use the intercom as well. We tend to discourage customers from using our intercom system,as it just leads to heartbreak and confusion.

How about this one "Do you have anymore in the back?" no, I do not. Customers seem to assume the back room is an infinite void where we hoard everything that they want, because it aways ends well for us if we piss off a customer just out of spite. Listen up, customers: Everything I have is on the floor. If it isn't on the floor, I do not have it. I have no idea when we will get more, although I can tell you what days our trucks come in. That doesn't mean what you want might be on that truck. We get what the warehouse sends us. If I could special order it for you I would be glad too, but we don't do special orders for SBA items.

I loathe these two questions. Does everyone lose all common sense when they are out shopping?

[Nashida]

For the back room question, your store needs to do what my last two jobs did: keep a mini-fridge or a cooler back there and stock some snacks.

When I was still at uBash for Halloween, all of our costumes were on the sales floor or stocked overhead. There was no backstock. So when customers failed to understand that we do not have costumes in our Backroom of Infinite Holding and pitched a bitch fit, we'd go back there and have a soda or something, just long enough to seem like we're "looking", then come back up front. It used to get so bad that R, our receiver, would be back there ready with a 2 liter bottle of Coke and glasses for us.

We only ever kept drinks back there, though. AA tried to sneak a chocolate bar back there and had a smudge on his cheek when he came back and said we didn't have X costume. The customer didn't even notice, but AA didn't want to chance that again.

[-Emerica-]

I don't get nearly as mad at customers asking if I work at my job, since my job has me plain clothed in the store (we're encouraged to talk to customers as they walk in, since I work retail and all). Although during the holidays we all have the same shirts on and a name tag, and one customer was talking to me, turns to some random kid, and goes "oh well does he work here?" Well lady, why would that matter? I'm currently helping you anyways.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I think it's that some of these customers don't know how else to say, "Could you help me?" in a sensible manner, like, they aren't sure of how to approach (heh) the situation.

[Mnemjian]

Yes, some customers don't seem to have two brain cells to rub together when they're shopping. I'll be waiting at the cash register (and last time I checked, customers generally aren't allowed to use the cash register themselves ) and customers will walk right by me and ask random other customers "Do you work here?" *sigh*

[Gizmo]

The worst one for me is when I am at the till, the belt is running and I smile at a customer heading towards me... who then asks "are you open?"

Well, no I am sitting here for the hell of it in full uniform and encouraging you to come towards me, of course I'm not here to serve customers!

[BrenDAnn]

For me, at the c-store, it's either "Do you have a bathroom?" or "Where's the ice/ice cream?" I want so badly to say "No, we pee out behind the store." and as for the ice/ice cream I usually point and say "Yep. Right back where it says ice/ where it says ice cream on the wall there!" After that, I stand there, fighting the temptation to slam my head against the counter repeatedly.

[sylvier]

Yes, we always keep a lot of stock "in the back". It sells really well there!

[Ironclad Alibi]

We should open a store called "The Back Room." Everyone would be telling people to check "The Back Room" for merchandise. We could get lots of free advertising. And complaints, of course, for not having all the stuff they think is in "The Back Room."

Better yet, make it a bar. All the store staff would be coming there because they were told to check "The Back Room."

(Does a quick Google search.)

Darn, someone beat me too it.

The Back Room #1.

The Back Room #2.

The Back Room #3.

[XCashier]

Do all of you get this question "Do you work here?" while you are at work?

It happens to everyone who works in customer service.

How about this one "Do you have anymore in the back?"

Sure, I'll go check for you.

It seems like they think we have the TARDIS back there, chock-full of every bit of merchandise ever invented, just waiting to be found and bought.

[Munkie]

How about going out to enjoy a day/evening with family/friends on your day off, and when you walk in, happy as a clam, have your roommate ask you, in complete shock... "Did you work today?!"

Happy shattered.

My roommate does this to me... on EVERY day off I have if I leave before he gets home and get back after he does.... it is EXTREMELY depressing and pisses me off. I DO NOT spend my entire life at my jobs. Yes, I work three jobs... I also work within my main job schedule! Which is SUNDAY through THURSDAY... unless otherwise stated. (It's messed up for the next month, but should be okay after Jan 10th.)

[Marmalady]

Do all of you get this question "Do you work here?" while you are at work? seriously, that has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever been asked.

All the time. Especially when I'm surrounded by boxes of stock and on my knees wielding a cloth and cleaning spray, giving the shelves a good clean before putting the said stock onto them. And one day I swear I am not going to be able to stop myself saying "Hell no, this is just my little hobby."

[Sparky]

The worst one for me is when I am at the till, the belt is running and I smile at a customer heading towards me... who then asks "are you open?"

Well, no I am sitting here for the hell of it in full uniform and encouraging you to come towards me, of course I'm not here to serve customers!

From my bus driving days, and I swear this really happened:

I pull up to an apartment building. It is a holiday, but I HAVE JUST DRIVEN UP IN MY BUS. I open the bus door. The bus is full of passengers. I am in uniform.

"Oh honey, are the busses running today?"

I was so stunned I couldn't formulate an answer. Later, another driver suggested "I dont' know. I'll radio in and ask."

[SourRobot]

Do all of you get this question "Do you work here?" while you are at work? seriously, that has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever been asked.

It irritates me too, but now it only does to an extent. I usually take it to mean "Do you work in this department?" since sometimes you can see an employee in a certain area who should be in another department (could be dropping off stuff, checking something for another customer, etc.). Usually now it only bothers me if they ask me that when I'm behind the register, ringing people up. Yes, that has happened a few times. Or if I'm actually doing crap in that department, like cleaning up or restocking an area.

We should open a store called "The Back Room." Everyone would be telling people to check "The Back Room" for merchandise. We could get lots of free advertising. And complaints, of course, for not having all the stuff they think is in "The Back Room."

The store would look like a small, gray room with one person standing at the register. The person comes in, asks us if we have it, then we can check the computer. If it's there, we go in the back and find it for them. It may take over three hours to find it though, The back room is larger than the average mall.

[simplyanother]

I have no idea when we will get more, although I can tell you what days our trucks come in. That doesn't mean what you want might be on that truck. We get what the warehouse sends us. If I could special order it for you I would be glad too, but we don't do special orders for SBA items.

I loathe these two questions. Does everyone lose all common sense when they are out shopping?

(Uh, apologies for the fact that I...make long posts..)

I can tell a customer if something is on order. I cannot tell them...when that means it will come in. I can tell them...it might come in on this weeks trucks...or it might not. But I have no way of telling. I try my hardest to NOT tell them that, because it just pisses 'em off. Non-answers, especially this time of year, are just...a recipe for bitchiness. But, it's not really a non answer, I really don't know. And I won't know if it's on the truck until after we've finished processing the truck. Why? I don't friggen know. I'm sure there has to be a list somewhere, telling exactly what's on the danged thing.

I tell them, we have none, but there are SOME on order, they MIGHT be on the truck that comes ...later. But we won't know till we finish processing the truck. I then recommend that they CALL before they drive their happy asses down here (or up here, because it's always someone from BFE over the stateline, or something), and see if the product is actually here, before showing up. Do they listen? EVER? Sometimes.

But usually, you'll get the people who only hear every third word, and then come in bitching and moaning about it, 5 minutes after the semi backs up to the receiving doors. Yes, dumbass, the truck is HERE. Do you really think that the tiny item you want is going to be located THAT quickly? No. First we have...take all of the crap off the truck first. Then...we have to put it all away.

And then...we have to deal with the f'ing re-pack (which are...you know...boxes of random shit packed together...in...repack boxes..heh. There are some we can tell what MIGHT be in them, based on experience, but that's almost always yarn or something...never tiny little things...). And it never fails, the customer always wants something that comes in re-pack. Which we deal with last (because putting away straight freight is easier and faster, we save the tedious shit for last). "Well, can't you check to see if it's in there?". Well, I could, But I'm not. Why?

Because the stack of repack boxes to be worked is about 8 feet high and 6 feet wide, and ..well, the item you covet, IF we have it--is bound to be smack dab in the middle of the stack, where I can't get to it. So, no. I'm not going to go and check. I'm going to tell you...to call and check, tomorrow at the earliest. But call, first, dumbass. No, don't just show up. CALL. AND ASK someone to HOLD the item. If you just call to see if we have it...and that's it, and you get here and it's sold out... OH FREAKIN WELL.

I DO get that the "do you work here" is customer for "can you help me...". But it is irritating. But meh. It's the least irritating thing a customer says to me all day (most irritating would be...regarding the damned coupons. No, I don't have any extra. No, you can't just use your friends after she did. No, I can't scan the one on your phone.)

I've learned that I never ever ever tell a customer what the RF gun says about an item. If it says we have 1, and I've already looked for it, then we might as well have 0. If it says we have 8, I'm going to look harder, but I'm NOT telling the customer we have 8. Because the counts have been off so much this year it's not even funny. If I check another store and it says they have SOME (more than 1, because I assume that 1 is zero)....then I ask the customer if they want me to call. If they don't, then they drive over and find that they have none, then it's their own damned fault.

As for special orders. We can do special orders of SBA items, it just takes awhile. I don't even know the actual amount of time it takes, we just tend to tell customers 4-6 weeks. Which seems about right. We cannot do special orders on seasonal items. And they don't seem to get this. I'm sorry, it's near the end of the Christmas season. I told you when you were in here three weeks ago, that when it's gone, it's gone. If you wanted it, you should have bought it then. But no, you were waiting for a better sale. Sucks to be you. We are out now. We'll be getting more...next year. Check back in September. Or October. You know NEXT YEAR. Oh, sure, I'll check the stock of another store for you. Hey! They have zero as well. Who'd have thought. Seriously? You're shopping a week before Christmas, and you're surprised that some items are sold out?

And this became a full on rant. Heh.

Christmas time brings out the special stupid. We get customers who've never ever ever set foot in a craft store before and are just confused as hell by all the glitter.