Tweet
Not sure if this qualifies as a Brain Burp, but since the "customer" in question was an idiot, I figured I'd post it in here & it'd get moved if necessary.
So, we get a call from mall security that a thief was caught in another store and had some of our merchandise on him, so they'd come to our store to return it and give us paperwork to fill out. While we're waiting (and waiting on other customers, of course), these two guys walk in who are clearly under the influence of an altering substance.
The one guy (hereafter referred to as HC) starts "flirting" with my CW (the quotes are because he wasn't doing it particularly well), and is standing there when the public safety officer comes in to talk to CW. I'm watching them, waiting for the guy to do the sidle-away. Surely most of you have seen it before - the drunk/high, trying to be subtle but failing miserably, attempt to sidle away from an authority figure unnoticed. But HC starts interrupting their conversation in full Bill-and-Ted voice:
"You guys had a SHOPLIFTER?!?! Somebody STOLE from youu?"
And I wish I had a picture of the PS officer's face to upload for you all. She looks at him, strait-faced, looks back at my CW, waits a beat, and asks if we have a backroom to talk in.
HC is baffled, of course, that they need to go somewhere else. "Wait, you caught the guy, right? Are you, like, arresting him? Oh my God."
So now that CW's gone, HC starts in on me. Wants to know my life story - & all I can get out of the guy is that he's from Ohio and came to eastern PA to ski (? Surely there are better places to do so?). The guy keeps latching on to me as I try to help other customers (it's a busy Saturday), and is apparently really concerned about me.
"You like your job, right? This place is cool. You should meet my... Hey, have you seen that movie with the thing...um...wait, I think it was with that guy from...um..."
He's still loitering when PS officer is leaving.
She barely breaks her stride when she glances at him, then looks at me with one eyebrow popped and says "Yeah, good luck with that one."
Oh man, what a day to finish working here! I've got a new job now (in an office, with my own cubicle!), and it was fantastic to end my mall job on such a high note.
So, we get a call from mall security that a thief was caught in another store and had some of our merchandise on him, so they'd come to our store to return it and give us paperwork to fill out. While we're waiting (and waiting on other customers, of course), these two guys walk in who are clearly under the influence of an altering substance.
The one guy (hereafter referred to as HC) starts "flirting" with my CW (the quotes are because he wasn't doing it particularly well), and is standing there when the public safety officer comes in to talk to CW. I'm watching them, waiting for the guy to do the sidle-away. Surely most of you have seen it before - the drunk/high, trying to be subtle but failing miserably, attempt to sidle away from an authority figure unnoticed. But HC starts interrupting their conversation in full Bill-and-Ted voice:
"You guys had a SHOPLIFTER?!?! Somebody STOLE from youu?"
And I wish I had a picture of the PS officer's face to upload for you all. She looks at him, strait-faced, looks back at my CW, waits a beat, and asks if we have a backroom to talk in.
HC is baffled, of course, that they need to go somewhere else. "Wait, you caught the guy, right? Are you, like, arresting him? Oh my God."
So now that CW's gone, HC starts in on me. Wants to know my life story - & all I can get out of the guy is that he's from Ohio and came to eastern PA to ski (? Surely there are better places to do so?). The guy keeps latching on to me as I try to help other customers (it's a busy Saturday), and is apparently really concerned about me.
"You like your job, right? This place is cool. You should meet my... Hey, have you seen that movie with the thing...um...wait, I think it was with that guy from...um..."
He's still loitering when PS officer is leaving.
She barely breaks her stride when she glances at him, then looks at me with one eyebrow popped and says "Yeah, good luck with that one."
Oh man, what a day to finish working here! I've got a new job now (in an office, with my own cubicle!), and it was fantastic to end my mall job on such a high note.
Comment