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  • First of the month, eh?

    And just like that, everybody knows where I'm from.

    I myself am not the best morning person in the world, but some people are not day persons.

    Invisible 3DS

    Okay, assuming you don't know what a 3DS is. I can forgive that. you look about 16 buuuuut it doesn't mean you automatically know every gaming consoles on earth. You're a girl in *my town* and you were probably force-fed pureed Barbie as a kid. We all were. I just got weened early on ninja Turtles. Anyway.
    BUT YOU HAVE:
    - Picked up the transparent-wrapped box and studied it. Thoroughly.
    - you flipped it around, peeked inside the HOLLOW package. This package is EMPTY save for the thin shell. It will not close fully as it has NOTHING in between the aluminum flaps. You can see your hand on the other side.
    - Looked uncomfortably long at the text that says in both languages in all-caps "ALUMINUM SHELL FOR 3DS"
    - saw the price was about 15$
    - ASKED YOUR MOM.

    And yet, after all this, you came up to me and had the brass spheres to say "Is this the 3DS console?"

    I can forgive console ignorance. I can't forgive PHYSICS ignorance. GTFO. Door's to your left.

    I AM THE SPHINX. ANSWER MY RIDDLE OR DIE.
    This other teenage girl walks in with her grandfather. Grandfather tells her she has to walk up to my counter and tell me what she ordered while he would go snoop ni the CDs.
    She complies...halfway.
    She indeed walks up to my counter and stands there. Speechless. Just... staring.
    Me: Yes?
    Teen: ...
    Me: Can I help you?
    Teen: ...
    Grandpa : (to me) She ordered something.
    Me: Okay... (this is where I get absolutely evil and convoluted) So, what is your name?
    Teen: *bewildered look*
    Me: ... Your name? So I can find your order?
    Teen: *adds a slowly slacking jaw to the bewildered look*
    Me: What did you order?
    Teen: *panicked looked, jaw fully slacked* Um, Grandpa?!?

    SHE NEEDED HER GRANDPA'S HELP FOR HER NAME AND WHAT SHE HAD ORDERED.

    No really, I was born without the ability to read minds.
    Shocking, I know.
    Lady and daugther: LD. Just switch at random who said what, as they repeated each other.
    Me: Me.

    LD: Yeah, my daughter ordered something.
    Me: Okay, your name please?
    LD: She ordered something.
    Me: ....so can I have your name or phone number so I can find it?
    LD: J ordered it.
    Me: That's good, so your name or phone number?
    LD: He was supposed to get it Friday.
    ME: Possible. Name or phone number?
    LD: Does J work today?
    Me: Never on weekends. Name or phone number?
    LD: He knows what I ordered.
    Me: I don't. Name or phone number?
    LD: (L to D) Do you remember what you ordered? (D to L) I 'unno.
    Me: We'll find it with your name or phone number.
    LD: He called us saying it was in.
    Me: (......bitch seriously?)

    Why do I even try?
    I keep an eye on kids as they tend to have sticky fingers. The only time I don't stare at them is when I have a customer at the counter. And that ALWAYS happen when the parents decide to leave the store.

    So far Ive had
    a pink yoshi stolen (little girl brought it back tearfully, begging for forgiveness as she forgot she was holding it)
    a DK plush almost stolen (I caught that one and waved at the cell-phone talking mother franctically, it also came back)
    A Cooking Mama game stolen (embarrassed Dad brought it back, made his daughter apologize)
    And a Rock Lee plush stolen (Daughter refused to apologize until mother suggested calling the cops and I held the phone up, punching random numbers)

    It would help if my bleeping blibiot boss would reinstall the anti-theft detectors around the door. My department is full of lil easy to slip out items. I watch people until I need to help a customer at the counter, I don't have eyes all around my head. But WHY the timing? WHY do parents always seem to decide to leave when I can't look at their kids to PREVENT such things from happening?

    *EDIT* NEW BONUS STORY!

    Right before I close down the store for the day, mother and her kid shows up. Perfectly normal, until she walks up to my counter...

    Confused customer: CC
    Me: Well, ya know.

    CC: Yes, I had a question about the kinect.
    Me: Yes ma'am?
    CC: Well, I want to know about the harmful rays it expels.
    Me: Harmful rays...?
    CC: Well, it expels harmful rays and it aggresses the body! It's like a microwave! It destroys you!
    Me: Ma'am... it's a camera. It has no rays. It films you.
    CC: No no no it has harmful microwaves that hurt people! I want to know how long you can be exposed to the rays before it's dangerous!
    Me: Ma'am. There are no rays. IT'S. A. KAAAAAH-MUUUUUU-RAAAAH. It SEES you. It doesn't send anything!
    CC: It's exactly like a microwave! It's harmful! It's poisonous to stay in front of it too long! I read about it!
    Me: Ma'am. Last time I heard about harmful poison rays was back in 1985 with the giant brick cellphones. *you fuggin' kiddin' me face*
    CC: *offended* HUH! It has harmful rays I tell you! *walks off, her kid in tow. All the while, the kid has been giving her the biggest WTF face a kid could muster*
    Last edited by Shironu-Akaineko; 10-03-2011, 05:35 PM. Reason: Bonus story!
    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

  • #2
    Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
    So far Ive had
    a pink yoshi stolen (little girl brought it back tearfully, begging for forgiveness as she forgot she was holding it)
    a DK plush almost stolen (I caught that one and waved at the cell-phone talking mother franctically, it also came back)
    A Cooking Mama game stolen (embarrassed Dad brought it back, made his daughter apologize)
    And a Rock Lee plush stolen (Daughter refused to apologize until mother suggested calling the cops and I held the phone up, punching random numbers)
    Wait, WHAT? This almost, ALMOST sounds like decent parenting (on most parts). And don't say decent parents' kids never do anything naughty
    Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

    This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
    What's the difference?
    We're allowed to tell you "no".

    Comment


    • #3
      Almost. I think I got a Petz Hamsterz game swiped too but that one didn't come back. I would kill for the detectors to come back to the doors.
      Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

      "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
        Almost. I think I got a Petz Hamsterz game swiped too but that one didn't come back. I would kill for the detectors to come back to the doors.
        Emphasis added... I think we can let that one slide, person who stole it was tortured enough.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post

          *EDIT* NEW BONUS STORY!

          Right before I close down the store for the day, mother and her kid shows up. Perfectly normal, until she walks up to my counter...

          Confused customer: CC
          Me: Well, ya know.

          CC: Yes, I had a question about the kinect.
          Me: Yes ma'am?
          CC: Well, I want to know about the harmful rays it expels.
          Me: Harmful rays...?
          CC: Well, it expels harmful rays and it aggresses the body! It's like a microwave! It destroys you!
          Appropriate response: "It's been determined that the effect of the rays can be counteracted by oral administration of 250 CCs of dihydrogen monoxide per hour of use."
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • #6
            I think that last one has already had some harmful rays remove her brain.
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

            Comment


            • #7
              You are a disciple of GORD I see.
              GFY

              Comment


              • #8
                Praise the Gord, for the Gord is a just and humble Gord.

                Incidentally, the door to my dept is in fact to the left of the customers. I RELISH in that lil factoid.

                I am but a humble tiny Gordita.
                Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
                  I am but a humble tiny Gordita.
                  I don't think that word means what you think it means...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
                    I am but a humble tiny Gordita.
                    I'll be "short" with you: Randy Newman - Davy The Fat Boy.
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Sleepwalker View Post
                      I don't think that word means what you think it means...
                      I had this in mind when I said it.
                      Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                      "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

                      Comment

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