You wanna talk to who?

[MoonCat]

Putting this here because the customer wasn't really sucky, just....delusional.

Caller: Hello, my name is [whatever]. Is the owner available?
Me: (thinking: Wha...?) Pardon me?
Caller: Repeats same question.
Me: The owner of [newspaper]?
Caller: Yes, the owner of the company.
Me: Ma'am, the owner is [Huge Company with Lots of Money] and they don't have an office in the building. The chairman is [Rich Guy with Gazillions of Dollars] and he's in Other City, Other State. May I ask what this is about? Maybe someone else can help you?
Caller: No, the owner is the only one who can help me. Have a nice day. *click*
Me: Hey guys, you won't believe this phone call I just had...

What I wanted to say: The owners of this company have enough money to put lots and lots of other people between you and them. Good luck getting to talk to any of them.

And I'm dying to know what she wanted, but she'll probably never call back. Oh, well.

[Skarredmind]

I had this one before... the company was a publicly traded one though, and part of the benefits was a company stock plan.

"Well ma'am this is a publicly traded company... there is no one owner..."

"I want to speak to the owner now."

"Oh well in that case, I am part owner... what can I do for you?"

"[Insert inane request that ANYONE could resolve]"

[bhskittykatt]

We get this one a lot. People seem to think we are franchised when we are corporate-owned. Though since many [my brand] locations around the country are franchised, I can forgive the initial inquiry. When they don't shut up about it after I say we're corporate-owned...that I cannot forgive.

[BrenDAnn]

My response, if this happened at C-Store, would be "Sure sir/ma'am, corporates number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. You have a nice day now." *CLICK* Let them play phone tag at corporate, or even try to make it through the initial menu there. Their brain would explode before they got to the "owner" anyway!

[PepperElf]

the other problem is that some out there seem to think they have a right to scream at the owners if they want to.

although on the flip side if they actually GOT the owner and was also told "no" then ... they'd probably be mad there wasn't anyone else they could talk to

[drunkenwildmage]

Actually, the Parent Company of the company I work for, also owns a couple of newspapers, and the family does have 'published personal' phone numbers that allows you to speak either the President of my company, or one of the family members that own the parent company. Every couple months are so we could get an issue that we had to work on that was handed down to us 'from either the President, or the owners'

[MoonCat]

I don't even have a number I could have given her.

I figure it's even money that her problem was either (a) something so simple that anybody could have solved it (a missed paper, her phone # appearing in someone else's ad, etc.) or (b) so bizarre that most people's reaction to it would be to go and back away.

Most likely the latter.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

I got the same several years ago, when I was working for [huge multinational company].

I was a database admin, I was not even on the phones, but we still had phones on our desks: occasionally we would get calls from internals with database-related requests.

So, phone rings.
Me: "Good morning, [company], this is [Cemetery Cecil]; can I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, I need to speak to the President." (yes, you could hear the capital P)
Me: "I am sorry Madam, do you wish to speak with our site manager or with the database maintenance manager?"
Caller (with "talking to stupid" tone): "No, the manager of [company]!"
Me: "I apologize but I am not sure I understand whom you are trying to contact."
Caller (still with "talking to stupid" tone): "But of course [Name Surname of the CEO of the company], he is the President, isn't he?"
Me: "He actually is the CEO of the company, and I wouldn't really know how to put you in touch with him. I am in the [City in Scotland] office, Mr. [CEO] is in [City in the north-eastern USA where the headquarters are]."
Caller: "I know where you are! I need to speak to the President!"

And hung up on me.

[SkullBash]

At the big box store I worked at, I would always have to laugh to myself when customer threatened to call headquarters/the CEO over an issue. I mean, even BEFORE asking for a manager. That has got to be one of the fastest ways to make an employee stop taking you seriously.

[MoonCat]

I had another one today!! Caller asked for someone by name, I said I'm not familiar with that name, in what dept?

Caller says "He's your CFO." I'm thinking, oh, really? Funny I've never heard of him, then. I checked the company directory...no such name. I said do you want [other guy]? He said yes so I dialed the actual CFO's secretary, explained, and she graciously took the call.

Come to find out, the guy he asked for was only with the company for a few months and it was quite a while ago. Had to be-- because I don't recall ever hearing the name!