I Know My Mind Is In The Gutter But.....

[RavenStarr]

Ok I admit it my mind is in the gutter. Yes I have a dirty mind. Shhh just don't tell nobody However when it comes to working in the grocery store, I am a complete professional. However here are a few unintentional I guess you could say slipups

A customer asked me where the popcorn was and I thought she said hot porn.
Luckily I asked her to repeat herself.

We were busy one night and a guy asked for a pack of cigs. I usually ask if they want box or soft pack. That night I was so busy I just said "Hard or soft"Luckily for me he was in a hurry, and just said soft.

[Akasa]

I have the terrible habit of saying things innocently that get taken as me being dirty. Like the other night I asked if an associate was giving or reciving. The people around me were like "Wow, I can't believe you said that." I looked at them confused till they explained how dirty that could be taken.

[Andara Bledin]

Lol. I almost never do that sort of thing.

With me, it's always deliberate.

However, whenever I catch someone saying something that could be taken the wrong way, I'll always take the opportunity to repeat it in such a manner that they can't possibly miss what they just said.

Heck, sometimes I'll even twist words around a bit to make them dirty just to have a laugh.

^-.-^

[Victoria J]

My mother is queen of these mistakes.

She once went into this tiny little local DIY store looking for a replacement handle for this minature chest of drawers. She went up to the only visible member of staff, a young man who must have been only in his late teens, and asked "Do you have a small knob ?".

Thankfully the shop does not in fact sell small round handles. So he turned brick red but did at least get to say "No".

But that isn't the best of hers.

She asked one of a gay couple we know "Which of you is the dominent male ?" when what she actually wanted to know was which of them their dog was more obedient for.



Victoria J

[Jammer]

Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but I'm not sure how this one got past management.
(apologies for the quality, was dark & only had my cam phone)

[dalesys]

Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but I'm not sure how this one got past management.
(apologies for the quality, was dark & only had my cam phone)

Well, since it's a drive-thru, the "FLAT" must mean it's roadkill now.

[ShadowTiger]

I don't know if this one really counts, but it's a troublesome little ditty.

For those of you who have to think on your feet very quickly, but aren't that good at it, you'll know the pain in which I speak this.

Have you ever had other things on your mind confusing you, when you had to greet someone? You can turn a "Hi, how are you?!" Into a "How high are you?" very easily.

That, and the switching of hello sir / hello ma'am, followed by the "err, bleh. Hello. x X.' "

[fireheart]

I once saw a sign at my local Boost that said "our gift cards suck."

Poor, poor choice of words.

(for the unfamiliar, Boost is the local home of smoothies, juices etc.)

[EvilEmpryss]

Me @ the hardware store last week:
HSG: Hardware store guy

Me: Do you have any vises?
HSG (smirking): A few. What kind are you looking for?
Me: I need a big one, I've got to crack some nuts.
HSG (trying to keep his grin from spreading ear to ear): Can't you use a nutcracker?
Me: Nah. These are big black nuts. Like these, here. (pulling one out of my pocket) I definitely need a vise for these.

I couldn't actually get through the conversation with a straight face, I knew how dirty it sounded.

And before dirty minds go too far here, I'm working on cracking about 100lbs of black walnuts I collected a few weeks ago.

[Imogene]

Wow... the other night, when I worked my first 1 AM shift, the other cashier who was around to midnight saw me retying my shoe at random, and then again a few moments later, so she came over and actually tied my shoe again for me. (she's motherly....) and, though I forget most of it now, our banter as she tied sounded extremely dirty as I thought about it from an outside point of view... things were said like, "Wow, that IS tight..." and "I was slipping around inside there."

[SouthernSugar]

My college roommate used to say things all the time that were truly, truly dirty to a perverted mind, but she would never realize it until the rest of us (true perverts, all) started cracking up.

I was guilty a couple of times myself. My crowning achievement? Thank heaven it wasn't at work: Everyone's trying to decide what kind of pizza to order. I piped up with "I love the sausage!" Cue much snickering, outright laughter, and me turning beet red. And sausage pizza is still my favorite, I just never ask for it anymore. ;D