Note to self: get handle on the whole "brain-mouth" thing.

[vstorevigilante]

I'll never forget the time I was working box office at the movie theatre, and a woman came up to me saying she'd lost her ticket (I remembered selling it to her, so it was legit) and asking what to do. I told her she could just tell them she lost it, and I'd vouch for her and she could still get in.

Except, after a long, tiring shift, I forgot my "customer speak", and said,

"Just say, 'I'm an idiot and lost my ticket, the girl up there will tell you I had one.'"

I of course meant nothing malicious by this, didn't actually think she was an idiot, etc. It was something I would say had I been in the same situation as her. She just nodded and left. Once she was gone, I realized what I said and had to sweat out the rest of my shift, waiting to be chewed out as I was sure she'd complain. Luckily, she didn't, and I've been ridiculously careful with my wording to all customers in all jobs I've held ever since. Like, I really, really can't believe I said that!

[Teskeria]

She probably figured that the "I'm an idiot" was your internal code for it being valid.
since scammers always blame someone else.

[Imogene]

I once had a customer at The Chesterfield, looking for DVDs on dancing. So, I took her back to our specialty DVDs, and told her, "The only one we have in right now us... 'Line Dancing for Dummies'..." She got pissed! "I'm not a dummy!"
"I'm not calling you one, ma'am, that's the title of the series..."