Foot in mouth disease

[JustADude]

Yeah them doctors, they will take and arm and a leg... She says well yeah they did. Last year they had to amputate my arm and this year my leg.

I know it's completely wrong of me, but that could hardly have been funnier if someone had made it up. Hopefully she sees the humor in the situation, because laughing with her is much better than laughing at you.

[braindead]

thankfully for my benefit she did have a sense of humor and I work on the phone so easy enough mistake to make. I have never felt like such an asshat. She understood and did find it funny. She laughed, I laughed because what else can you do when something like that happens.

[Jester]

I have confused men for women and women for men and on and on so many times, I couldn't tell you. And there are times when, frankly, I have NO IDEA whether someone is male or female. It's at this point that I start using a lot of "you." "May I get you anyting else?" "How are you doing?" And so on.

On the flip side, there is one subject that occasionally people slip with me on, not due to their own knowledge. I'll be talking about "my parents," or some such, and it will come out that "my parents" mean my mom and my stepfather. And someone will ask something along the lines of "Do you hear from your dad much?" To which I reply, "It would be a neat trick if I did, seeing as he died in 1981." I say it with a smile and a laugh, and it unsettles them a bit, but they usually laugh. Hey, I could be an ass and just say, "No. He's dead." Topeople who piss me off, I have actually said, "No. He's worm bait." THAT really throws them!

Hell, my father would have laughed his ass off at the whole thing. He is where I got my sense of humor from in the first place.


Speaking of Foot in Mouth Disease, a handful of times some dipwad has been rattling along, and then says something disparaging or downright insulting about Jews. To which I will say, "Oh, by the way, hi. My name is [my name which somewhat recognizable as being Jewish]." Or, "Yeah, I can't stand Jews either. That is why I hate family reunions." The second one sometimes goes right over their head.