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Anybody who's been following my posts knows I used to work at one of the (if not THE) largest grocery store chains in America as a cashier. I saw some pretty weird things there, but I was mostly able to keep my trap shut whenever I saw something weird.
Until...this happened.
Me:
C: Customer with really weird dyed neon yellow hair gelled into two long antennae pointing backwards over his head.-only the 'antennae' bits were yellow, the rest was black.
CG: Customer's Girlfriend
C and CG start loading things onto my belt. I noticed the hairstyle immediately, and it reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was. Not being able to remember things bothers me (I have rather bad memory loss problems) so I started trying to recall it. This was a mistake.
C and CG finished unloading, I checked them out (still trying to remember) and they finally came up to pay. Then, as I was handing his card back-
Me: *snaps fingers* That's it! An Emperor Penguin! That's what the hair reminds me of!
C: *blank stare*
CG: *starts howling with laughter*
Me: .....OhGoddidIsaythatoutloud?!!!
Thankfully he was pretty good-natured about it, even laughing a bit himself when I gave a very fast, somewhat garbled explanation of having no filter between my brain and my mouth, and his girlfriend was snickering the entire way out the door. I wanted to strangle myself with the cord to the store phone.
On another occasion, when I was working at a pharmacy chain, and I was once again on register (I probably shouldn't be put somewhere I can talk to people...) and someone comes up to check out. Everything about this individual looks pretty feminine-from the clothes, to the chest, long eyelashes, long hair, wide hips-everything registers in my brain as 'woman'. I also noticed that 'she' appeared to be pretty heavily into pregnancy, like she was due pretty soon. I greeted them and started checking them out, making idle conversation. The voice was a little deeper than normal for a girl, but my voice can sometimes be a bit deeper than normal for a girl too, so I figured this person probably had the same thing going on. Then, as I was getting to the end of their stuff:
Me: By the way, when are you due?
Customer: .....what?
Me: Your baby-when are you due?
Customer: ........................I'm a man.
One of my coworkers said he'd never seen me turn that red before, and that's saying something since I tend to blush very, very easily. I apologized profusely, and the guy laughed it off, thankfully not getting offended and leaving amicably. Still, I can't believe I did that!
I need to buy a new filter for my mouth. Or maybe just a muzzle.
Until...this happened.
Me:
C: Customer with really weird dyed neon yellow hair gelled into two long antennae pointing backwards over his head.-only the 'antennae' bits were yellow, the rest was black.
CG: Customer's Girlfriend
C and CG start loading things onto my belt. I noticed the hairstyle immediately, and it reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was. Not being able to remember things bothers me (I have rather bad memory loss problems) so I started trying to recall it. This was a mistake.
C and CG finished unloading, I checked them out (still trying to remember) and they finally came up to pay. Then, as I was handing his card back-
Me: *snaps fingers* That's it! An Emperor Penguin! That's what the hair reminds me of!
C: *blank stare*
CG: *starts howling with laughter*
Me: .....OhGoddidIsaythatoutloud?!!!
Thankfully he was pretty good-natured about it, even laughing a bit himself when I gave a very fast, somewhat garbled explanation of having no filter between my brain and my mouth, and his girlfriend was snickering the entire way out the door. I wanted to strangle myself with the cord to the store phone.
On another occasion, when I was working at a pharmacy chain, and I was once again on register (I probably shouldn't be put somewhere I can talk to people...) and someone comes up to check out. Everything about this individual looks pretty feminine-from the clothes, to the chest, long eyelashes, long hair, wide hips-everything registers in my brain as 'woman'. I also noticed that 'she' appeared to be pretty heavily into pregnancy, like she was due pretty soon. I greeted them and started checking them out, making idle conversation. The voice was a little deeper than normal for a girl, but my voice can sometimes be a bit deeper than normal for a girl too, so I figured this person probably had the same thing going on. Then, as I was getting to the end of their stuff:
Me: By the way, when are you due?
Customer: .....what?
Me: Your baby-when are you due?
Customer: ........................I'm a man.
One of my coworkers said he'd never seen me turn that red before, and that's saying something since I tend to blush very, very easily. I apologized profusely, and the guy laughed it off, thankfully not getting offended and leaving amicably. Still, I can't believe I did that!
I need to buy a new filter for my mouth. Or maybe just a muzzle.
when I read the Emperor Penguin story! Thank goodness he was willing to laugh it off ... although if he went to that extent to look different he was probably quite pleased with your description -- it probably gave him dinner conversation for the next six months!
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