Sometimes WE are the Stupid Customers!

[Jester]

Tonight, as I was checking out at the grocery store, I pulled one of those handy dandy discount cards out of my wallet, and unsure how long it had been since I had used it, asked the cashier, "Is this the current one?" To which he replied, "That's Winn-Dixie."

I was in Publix.



So, please, don't leave me alone as the only idiot here...share your stories of idiocy, stupidity, and moments where you just might be the butt of jokes to various workers you deal with in your non-work life.

[lupo pazzesco]

Just this morning, I was waiting to catch a bus.

A bus drove up, I got on, and then paused, to ask which route it was, the 75 or 76 (helps me set up timing for when I get to work, figure out transfers, etc)

Cue bus driver staring at me and telling me "This is the 22, ma'am"



Ooooops. He let me off at the next stop and I waited for a correct bus... Go me!!

[MoonCat]

I recently had to buy some batteries (no, not for that, you pervs....) and I handed the clerk a coupon for my Duracells. She said, very nicely, "Well, this would be great except it's for Energizers."

Ooops...

Of course, I just laughed and took the coupon back, instead of throwing a hissy fit and insisting they take it anyway...

[Jester]

Exactly. I'm talking about when we're just damn stupid, though stupid enough where you can almost see the clerk/server/whoever talking about it later to their coworkers and/or friends. "You'll never believe what this one guy did in my line today...." Yeah, that kind of stupidity.

Of course, if anyone here WANTS to tell about a time they were actually a sucky customer, knock yourself out. But we will, of course, make fun of you.

[Kittish]

Been a few months on this one, but....

One of the grocery stores I shop at has self check outs. I generally use them. On one trip I got everything rung up, bagged and paid for... then walked out without the lot! Mind you, this wasn't just one or two bags, this was a full shopping-cart trip. I actually made it out to my car, got in it and put the key in before it dawned on me. Thankfully, total elapsed time before I got back inside to collect my groceries was maybe 5 minutes and the store wasn't super busy so they were right where I'd left them.

[Jester]

I remember one time years ago I actually went into the gas station, paid for gas, walked out of the gas station, got in my car, started the engine, and drove away....and within a mile turned around and went back, and they were nice enough to allow me to still pump my gas. Thankfully no one else had come along and pumped on my dime.

And I gave the staff a pretty good laugh on that one.

[HYHYBT]

Brain farts... everybody has them...

I've left the milk out all night and found my wallet in the refrigerator., though that doesn't really qualify as stupid *customer.* Neither does my worst one, but here goes anyway, managing to mess up a daily habit most people have: the first-thing-on-waking-up-in-the-morning trip to the bathroom where you're not fully awake yet. One day when I was maybe 15, I faced the opposite direction from usual, lifted the *hamper* lid, and, well, you can see where this is going. Only took a couple more seconds to realize what was going on.

As for grocery store cards... I love messing up their data collection. If you sign up for one of those cards, they give a set of them. Keep one yourself and give away the others

[Jester]

One day when I was maybe 15, I faced the opposite direction from usual, lifted the *hamper* lid, and, well, you can see where this is going. Only took a couple more seconds to realize what was going on.

Sadly, I have a story in this vein. And I am not too proud to admit what happened.

I was living with The Roaches at the time, and Duke Roach was a major stoner. One time, I got really, really, REALLY stoned with him and some friends. I mean, looking down on God's bald head kind of stoned. Yeah, baked beyond potato stoned. You know what I'm saying. (Well, the stoners do.)

Anyway, Duke Roach was very fastidious about his bathroom. And pretty much insisted that everyone, guys included, sit down when using his toilet. Naturally, we all ignored him, and peed standing up, as guys do.

Well, this day, I went in to use his bathroom, as along with smoking up, I was drinking beer. (What? It combats the cotton mouth!) And it was one of those long, extended, several minutes long, Lake Superior-draining pees. And just as I was finishing up, I looked down, and noticed that the lid was down.

Not the seat. The lid. Yeah. There was...."Lake Superior water" everywhere. So I spent the next several minutes using a LOT of toilet paper to clean things up thoroughly. And went back into the Duke's room to smoke some more ganja.

DUKE: "You sat down to pee, right?"
ME: "Of course, dude. Relax."



(My conscience was and is clear because Duke Roach was a total douchebag, and to this day still owes me about a thousand dollars in unpaid rent and bills.)

[Krysalis]

I don't drive. I either walk, bike, or BF will give me a ride. Smalltown, I could walk across town in an hour or less.

I'm on birthcontrol, and have to stop in at Albertsons to get my medication. BF picked me up and was with me when this exchange happened:

Clerk: So are you playing the new game?
Me: Uh... (thinking he was asking about some devious acts )

He then handed me a couple cards for the new, sticker game they're running for the summer.

I'm not so sure if he saw my reaction or not, but it was an awkward moment.

A second one:

Years ago, my parents were looking to move out of my childhood home. We were touring various houses intown, with a pair of realtors.

On the last house we visited, I remembered them leaving the sliding glass door open so we could tour the backyard. Part of me thought, "Hey, they did it here, too!"

So, I took a turn, and walked to the backyard...

Only to go WHONG into the glass.

Massive headache, everyone came running to see if I was okay, I think my excuse was, "The glass was really clean!"

Everyone laughed it off (or so I hope), and the realtors said we were some of the most behaved kids, but still...

I get teased about clean glass to this day.

[Jester]

One of the few things my family didn't see (or at least the one who was there doesn't remember) to give me shit about....

One time when I was about 14 or 15 (I know the age because I remember which house in which town we were in), I was out playing in the yard between our house and our neighbor's house, with Lil Sis and the neighbor kids. And at one point, for some reason, I turned and started to run--and ran RIGHT into a metal pole that was used to support laundry ropes (for drying laundry).

WHAM! And when I say I ran into it, I mean face freakin' first. Knocked me down and almost out. Must have looked quite comical. I can still remember the pain, and it was MASSIVE. But boy, it must have looked really, REALLY stupid. Because as painful as it was, one of my first thoughts (once I HAD thoughts) was, "MAN, that was stupid!"

[HYHYBT]

[quote[So, I took a turn, and walked to the backyard...

Only to go WHONG into the glass.[/quote]OW! I did something similar at work... every once in a while, a customer would drive off without something. They had to turn left and pass by the front of the store to get to the stoplight almost in front of us to get back out in the street, so I generally had good luck running and catching them. And I *did* run... in this one case, smack into the still-locked door, because I'd forgotten we weren't open inside yet.

[smfrazier]

There have been a few times when I tried to pay for my purchase with my library card.
I've also tried to deposit my pay stub in my bank account. And I've also paid for my gas and drove off without getting it.

[Sarlon]

I've done the oppisite of driving off without getting the gas.

was having one of those days and was arguing with someone over the phone. I pumped my gas, and knew I had enough in my pocket (cash) to buy $15 worth of gas and a drink just up the road.

I apperently pumped the gas, still arguing with someone on the phone, got back in my car and drove off. just up the road I get out and pull out my money to buy said drink....and realize I still had my money for the gas.

paid for my drink and FLEW back to the gas station....where the older guy manning the register said it was fine since he saw I was having a bad day, and only would of reported me if I didn't come back that day.

[MoonCat]

I was killing some time once in a donut shop, waiting for my bus. Had a cup of coffee and a donut. Went back outside to wait for my bus. Realized I hadn't paid for my donut and coffee.

I ran back inside. I don't think the counter person had even noticed I had left. I paid.

Oh, and there have been several times when I didn't have the money or the opportunity to buy a monthly bus/rail pass, and got on the train and rode all the way to my home stop without buying a ticket. I'm so used to having the pass that I just forgot to buy a ticket. Was very lucky that none of the ticket inspectors came along, or I would have been looking at a $50 fine.

[Dadeo]

As for grocery store cards... I love messing up their data collection. If you sign up for one of those cards, they give a set of them. Keep one yourself and give away the others

Every year there is a neighbourhood pilgrimage to the beach, we all stay in the same condo complex and we all (five to eight families) use the same grocery card. That must skew their numbers for the week.