Being a good waiter?

[FastFoodFlunky]

Heya folks. I think the time's come for me to leave fast food and go into something a bit more advanced. Having turned 18 in January, I picked up an application the other day at the local steakhouse to hopefully become a server.

Has anybody worked in the field that can offer me some advice, or have any particular peeves you have in waitstaff when dining out?

Also, just some questions since 99% of you are older and have more life experience ;P

1. Is it rude to give the check before EVERYBODY has finished eating? If there's like a family of 4 and the parents are finished but the kids haven't, should I hold the check until everybody's done?

2. Is it best to give automatic refills on drinks if they are free, or is it always best to ask if they would like a refill?

3. What do I do if someone orders some bizarre alcoholic drink that I have no idea what it is?

4. How do I calculate the proper time between each course?

Just a couple questions I can think of off the top of my head.

I already know to always smile, don't let my irritation show and to keep an eye on the tables for customers needing things. I've also printed out the restaurants menu online and begun to memorize the ingredients of each dish as well as the price.

I hope everything I have questions about they will teach me at training. If not, i'll be turning to you all. Hope you don't mind! :P

Thanks for any replies!

[reformedwaitress]

I've always been told I'm a very good waitress and I tended to make a very good living with tips so I think these people might be right. Here are my answers to your questions and some tips of my own.

1. With the check -- after a little while you'll get a feel for people. If you're working a lunch shift, many people will be trying to get back to work and be somewhat in a hurry, so often bringing the check when you check back on them can be a good idea. As long as you specifically say that you are not trying to push them but you just want to be sure they have time to get back to work. Use your instincts. With your family scenario, how I dealt with that was if someone's plate was clean but not others, I would clear that one and ask if "we'd saved room for some dessert" (most restaurants want you to offer dessert anyway, so this is a double hit!) and usually they'll either say yes and want to know what you have or say "no, we don't have room, if we could just get our check." That's been my experience anyway.

2. If it's water or tea or something you have in a pitcher, come by and just offer a refill. If it's something like a soda and refills are free? I would always bring a replacement (new cup so they're never without a drink) when I noticed they were down to about a third of a drink. If they don't want it they can say no. If the restaurant won't let you take new drinks, just ask when the drink is about half to a third fill and see if they want a refill. Some people just don't, but I've never had anyone offended in my asking.

3. Double check the name of the drink and if you don't know for sure if you make it, say you'll check with your bartender. If the bartender doesn't know it, tell the customer and tell them that if they know what's in it, you'll be happy to have the bartender make them one or suggest something else. Most people aren't offended.

4. Most restaurants tell you the specified time between courses in training. On busy nights, you usually don't have much of a choice and just get the food out as soon as it's ready.

If someone asks if something is in a dish and you aren't positive, tell them you can check. If they're really insistent on it, ask if they're allergic because sometimes there can be cross contamination or something might not be able to be taken out. Or, like in our brownie sundaes, there's no nuts on the sundae, but we had to know the brownies had nuts in them.

Be visible. Even if you aren't checking on your table every two minutes, make sure you at least look at their table as you go by and at least offer to take dirty dishes or offer refills. You will learn to read table and know which ones will appreciate lots of attention and who just wants to be left alone. Never assume someone is a bad tipper and treat everyone as if they were your best customer, even if they're just getting a water and bread. Know what you have on the menu and be able to offer suggestions if people aren't sure what they want. Know what substitutions you can offer and what they cost, if anything. Know whether you can offer smaller portions for children or something cause a lot of parents ask about that.

If you're good with faces, try to remember people who you see once a week or that come in a few times. People LOVE it when you recognize them, even if you don't know their names. If you can remember anything -- what they drink, how they like their steak, their salad dressing -- people LOVE that. I didn't always know my boys' names but I sure knew what they drank!

That's what I can think about right off the top of my head, but if you have other questions, just ask!

[powerboy]

reformedwaitress, has hit the nail on the head. I am never offended when I get a check before I am done eating.

Just read the tables, talk to the customers, make then laugh, you might make their day bighter, and you might even get a bigger tip. Worked for me that one night, when they put me as a server. I made $100 in tips. it was also a busy night also.

[Jester]

Has anybody worked in the field that can offer me some advice, or have any particular peeves you have in waitstaff when dining out?

Hmmmm...lesse....I've been working in the food service industry as a server or a bartender since 1986. Does that qualify?

1. Is it rude to give the check before EVERYBODY has finished eating? If there's like a family of 4 and the parents are finished but the kids haven't, should I hold the check until everybody's done?

I generally don't put down the check until all plates are cleared, unless they ask for it before then (it's not rude to do what they customer asks you to do), or unless they have made it clear that they are in a hurry ("We are in a hurry....does a well done steak take a long time?" ), in which case I will drop the check quickly with a comment along the lines of "I know you folks are in a hurry, so I'm just going to leave this with you so you don't have to wait on me...but of course if you need anything, just let me know."

2. Is it best to give automatic refills on drinks if they are free, or is it always best to ask if they would like a refill?

I have found it best to always ask. If you have a pitcher (tea or water) or a pot (coffee) of it, you can walk around refilling, but with sodas and what not I like to ask. You will learn to read your tables as time goes on with this sort of thing.

3. What do I do if someone orders some bizarre alcoholic drink that I have no idea what it is?

RW nailed it on the head. 'Nuff said.

4. How do I calculate the proper time between each course?

Again, you will learn about these things as time goes on. You will learn your kitchen, how long they take to do various things (on both busy and slow nights). You may also be trained to simply put everything in at once, with appetizers indicated as such, and let the kitchen sort it out. Remember, anything your employer says is generally going to be more appropos than what we say here, as we are merely generalizing.

To learn these things you want to listen when you are being trained, and watch the better servers who you work with, and when you are out yourself, and how they do things. But of course the best way to learn things is simply by doing. You will make mistakes, but you will learn as you go. Considering I have now been doing this for longer than some of my coworkers have been alive (), I have made quite a few mistakes, but have always treated them as learning experiences.

Oh, and RW definitely knows what she is talking about, even if she is a bit more of a rookie than me.

(ducks the inevitable projectile from RW's direction)

[digilight]

Never been a waiter only a eater but heres my opinions from the other side of the table.

As far as the check goes, At lunches we usually want quick in and quick out. When they are near the end of the meal ask if they've saved room for desert, if no drop the check. At dinner the same thing. It's easier to add to a check (I'd assume) and add a desert if they change their mind, then keep a family waiting to hit the road, we get ansey.

Try and bring the kids food out as quick as possible, kids tend to eat slower then parents do and this will keep them entertained. We love when waiters try and get the kids food out first, it gives us a chance to get their food ready for them if we need to cut it or anything. If thats not going to be possible maybe bring out a few packets of crackers for the kids. Mom and Dad will remember this come tip time.

Always keep the drinks coming during the meal, near the end of the meal or once plates are cleared then you ask if they would like a refill. I'm the kind of guy that goes thru sodas like crazy. It's a huge plus in my book if a waiter/waitress can "keep me in sodas" during dinner. Also when you bring a refill make sure its the right type. I only drink diet (diabetic) my wife will drink regular if its a place that has coke or diet if they have pepsi. So if i'm getting a diet coke and she ordered a Mr Pibb half the time they put the diet in front of her and the pib in front of me. This is a pet peeve of mine (since usually I'll down half the soda before I can taste it and the sugar ain't good for me, I know Its my fault for not checking).

A little back story. THe wife and I went to the Cheesecake factory a couple of weeks ago for my birthday. The waiter was very attentive, let us know how close our food was, and was very helpful. he seemed to know when to come around and when to leave us alone. That earned him high marks.

If theres a problem in the kitchen, ie food had to be remade, tell the customer, don't lie to them. This will backfire for SC's but remember that most customers aren't SC's and will like to be aware.

[reformedwaitress]

Oh, and RW definitely knows what she is talking about, even if she is a bit more of a rookie than me.

(ducks the inevitable projectile from RW's direction)

I may be a rookie but it doesn't mean I'm not d*nm good at what I do.

You'll see.

[Jester]

Try and bring the kids food out as quick as possible, kids tend to eat slower then parents do and this will keep them entertained. We love when waiters try and get the kids food out first, it gives us a chance to get their food ready for them if we need to cut it or anything. If thats not going to be possible maybe bring out a few packets of crackers for the kids. Mom and Dad will remember this come tip time.

Digi, I agreed with everything you said except this. (And much of what you said will come to new servers as they learn how to do it well.)

This is true with you and your family, and many others, but not ALL families. It is just as dangerous to presume to bring out the kids' food first as it is to presume they want it all at once. Solution: ask. "Folks, did you want the childrens' food coming out ahead of time, say with the appetizers, or did you want it with the adults' food?" The reason some parents, like digi, like it ahead of time is because kids can get antsy. Nothing wrong with that. Some parents, however, prefer to have their kids eat with them, so that their kids don't get antsy at the end, making it hard for the adults to enjoy their meals. Also, some parents are trying to teach their kids that they don't always get immediate satisfaction. (Nothing against how you do it digi, just saying.)

Basically, there is no one right way. As I said, ask. The consideration factor WILL be noticed by parents no matter when they want their kids' food coming out.

By the way, I need to point out that by "kids" I think both digi and I are talking about the younger ones, say 6 or less. The older kids tend to eat with the adults, and many of them won't even want kids' menus.

And RW, I don't doubt that you are damn good. You are still a rookie.

[Seshat]

As for the allergies issue: make sure you take it seriously, and insist that the cooks take it seriously.

If someone has a preference for no onion on their burger, it's (usually) okay to take onion off that had been accidentally put on. If someone has an allergy, however, take the precautions they ask for seriously. Even if you have to recommend that they go to a different restaurant.

(Of course, management might not like that last idea. You may want to check with management what their allergy policy is.)