"evil" things you do at work

[Kristev]

Wait? What? That sounds impossible to cope with.

[DeltaSierra]

We used to hide most of the napkins and most of the raw sugar packets when we saw one customer on his way in. (Or his wife.) Not because he was a huge SC (he was mostly ok; sometimes a pain,) but because he would take both by the handful and fill his pockets.

Oh dear - I see my Father-in-Law has been visiting your establishment.

[katzklaw]

geeze. all these stories. the worst i can do is change a guest's e-mail in our reservation system if they're huge jerks about something so that they don't ever get the exit survey, because they'll for sure give us a bad review over something we didn't do, or did correctly and they just didn't like it (like the 5 sites i had to charge the extra tent fee this weekend)

[Teysa]

There's not much evil I can do at work other than watch people struggle with the air doors because they didn't listen to the safety/orientation speech. You'd think a big black button that says press would be a clue. It's also fun to tell someone from the first half of the car that I can't take their order or refill their drink because the second half of the car doesn't have their food and drink yet. (Each car has 18 to 20 tables. The bartenders make it clear that they will not be doing refills until everyone has had the opportunity to order once. If someone is not hungry yet, they have to wait until second round.)

[Chazzie]

If you give me a balled up wad of cash as payment, I will take extra time straightening them out and facing them all the right way before putting them in my drawer. THEN I will get your order for you.

[Totiono]

Strollers are not allowed in any of our show stadiums due to space and safety concerns, with the exception of those that double as wheelchairs for disabled children. To enforce this we have employees staffed out at the gates of every stadium prior to and during showtime to direct guests on where to park them and then we straighten them all up. We have certain areas they can and cannot park, and our supervisors are always breathing down our necks to make sure they look orderly so no pathways or exits are blocked.

So many guests choose to ignore our announcements and the endless sea of strollers parked alongside the curb. They either try to bypass us and get into the stadium anyway (where we then have to chase after them and tell them to park it) or they try to park the strollers in areas closer to the entryways where we can't have them. It pisses me off that so many of them show up late but feel entitled enough to park their stroller closer than everyone else who got there before them despite our telling them multiple times that they can't park there. (Here's a hint: if you see a bunch of strollers concentrated in one area then that is probably where you should be parking it. Not on the path a few feet away from the stadium entrance where there are no other strollers)

If they're nice about it and just didn't happen to be paying attention? That's fine. But the ones who refuse to listen or give me grief? I let them park it wherever they want, wait until they are out of sight, and then I go get their stroller and park it as far away as I possibly can. Later on once the show is over and I'm closing up the gates I get a real kick out of watching them search for the stroller. Especially the ones who are stupid enough to ignore our warnings to take their valuables with them. The chances of things getting stolen out of their strollers are very slim but hearing the people screech about "I HAD MY IPAD/LAPTOP/PASSPORT/HOUSE KEYS/ CELL PHONE/PURSE/WALLET/WINNING LOTTERY TICKET/GOLDFISH IN THERE!" never fails to amuse me.

[OneMoreTime]

^^^^^^ Totiono, you ARE evil !!!!! But I LOVE it !!!

[Lace Neil Singer]

We used to have a customer who'd always time his petrol station visits for two minutes before closing time. He'd also take his sweet time filling his car to the brim, and also used to wander round the shop taking about ten minutes to choose his snacks. Oh, and he never apologised for making us late.

My colleague and I decided to stop him in his tracks, as we were ending up with at least fifteen minutes unpaid overtime whenever he came in. So, on the day of the week, always the same day, that he came in, we'd put the cones across the entrance five minutes early so he'd not be able to get in, and tell him we were closed.

After about six weeks of doing this, it eventually entered Mr Tardy's thick skull that we didn't appreciate being forced to stay at work for fifteen minutes more, and he started coming in at about half an hour before we closed, which was fine by us as he then had plenty of time before we closed to fill his car and get his shopping.

[Canadian In Maine]

If you insist on telling me "I prefer my coffee fresh" in a condescending tone, you will get the least fresh pot. Because oddly enough, most of my customers prefer fresh coffee.

I had one pretentious twit tell me last week that he couldn't drink coffee that was older than 7 minutes (our company throw time is 20 min). He demanded that I make his order using the full pot of coffee that was on the lower burner. I told him straight out that it was expired but he refused to believe me. Oh well, screw him.

I really resent people asking me if the coffee is fresh because they're actually suggesting (IMO) that I'm not doing my job according to policy.

I find the best way of being evil is to give the requesting (internal) customer exactly what they ask for.

Oh absolutely!! The shame of it all is that many of the orders at my shop will come back for correction and much food is wasted but it gives me the opportunity to say to these idiots, "Gee, that's not what you asked for though."

Like the guy who brought me his coffee back because it had no cream in it. I told him that he asked me for a coffee with 2 sugars in it and that is precisely what he got. His response?

"Oh, I thought cream was standard."

[Dreamstalker]

Not to an SC, but a rather dim CW (with the intention of teaching her an object lesson, but it went way over her head).

One night I was about to clock in for my overnight shift. I went to stash my stuff under the SCO paystation, and see that Ditz had left the attendant card on the register accessible to anyone. Yes, it was turned face down, but...anyone could have figured out what it did. Ditz was nowhere near SCO; she was at the other end of the store yakking with the cashier.

I punched in, went back to the paystation to sort out my crap and took the card (quietly letting shift lead and manager D know what Ditz did and that I would put it in the drop safe). Fast forward to the final closing announcement. Ditz finally meanders back to the paystation, and at first doesn't even realize the card is 'missing'. When she does, she takes a cursory glance around the register, goes to each SCO to see if she left it, and only after she punches out tells shift lead and D "I can't find the selfscan card." (only after lead asks if she put the card in the safe).

D: "I know. Dreamstalker has it." Ditz flips out and can't understand why I have the card.
Ditz: "How did you get it? I'm watching selfscan!"
Lead: "If you're on selfscan, how was she able to get the card then?"
Me: "If I didn't pick it up, any customer near the paystation would have and they would have been able to do anything with it.
Ditz: "No they couldn't!"
D: "Oh yes they could. You know how to use it and the only training you got was shadowing someone. It's not hard to figure out. You never let this card out of your sight unless it's for a break."

[Food Lady]

This one I didn't mean to do: today I had a custy with a huge box (mattress pad) that covered my whole little counter. He needed to step away for a minute to transfer money when his card wasn't accepted. No prob; it wasn't too busy so I turned my light off. His friend was standing by the register, which apparently meant the people that came up in the sudden rush should follow sucktomer #1 to line up at my register. Well, she walked past the huge box and my scanner to the pay side and looked at me when I said, "Oh, I'm waiting for someone; that's why my light's off." The second part really should have been "...so it'll be a minute." The way I said it was snarky and I realized it when my coworker gasped and laughed at my remark. Surprised if I don't get a complaint.

[catcul]

When I was on my first project for the bank, I noticed that the office was empty. For some reason, I thought my CW was about to try to startle me, so I looked around. I was alone.

That's when I decided to startle him. I made it look like the office was empty. When he came in, I greeted him with my loud voice.

He was startled.

[bhskittykatt]

For some reason, I thought my CW was about to try to startle me, so I looked around. I was alone.

That's when I decided to startle him. I made it look like the office was empty. When he came in, I greeted him with my loud voice.

He was startled.

Once at the motel, I was working a late housekeeping shift because everyone else called off. It was after dark. The MOD was helping me and she had run off to go grab sheets or something.

I was standing at my housekeeping cart right outside the door on a corner room when other MOD leapt around the corner and went "BOO!"

I screamed so loud, concerned guests were calling the front desk about it. One apparently almost called the cops.

[catcul]

I have startled people by accident. I'm a big man who moves quietly and have a loud, booming voice. It's still fun when it happens.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I once hid in the supply cupboard and jumped out at a colleague walking past with a loud "BOO!" She laughed after she'd finished screaming. XD