I'm just a girl

[JustADude]

Heh... I caught myself about to spew off some typically chauvinistic BS in reaction to a couple posts that kinda bordered on sexist against men. After having reviewed my statement I've cleaned it up and decided to actually present a logical point:


On average across the species, a man is better adapted to handling physical labor and things involving spatial perception, thanks to an evolutionary history of being the one doing the 'Hunter' stuff, such as bringing in meat, fighting off other tribes. Conversely, women are better adapted toward organization and linguistics because they evolved with the role of 'Gatherer', which involved the logistical end of things, raising children, finding edible plants, planning communal tasks, etc.

The whole balance of the thing got corrupted by the misogynistic crap spewed forth by certain of the world's major religions in the past few thousand years, belittling female contributions to society and equating their frailer physique with general inferiority, thus cutting them out of the loop to the point where they were cloistered up and only allowed to put their skills to use running a house.

What I'm trying to say, in essence, is that all of the above is well and good, but a person can do what they damn well please, as long as they, specifically, have the ability and inclination to do so. Averages don't apply to a sample-group of one, and about the only things one gender can do that the other is 100% incapable of are reproduction-related. Female mechanics are just as valid as male nurses.

[morgana]

Zzap,

Which book? Sounds like something I might want to pick up.

Thanks.


Morgana

[ArenaBoy]

Like Bigjimaz said, if women can give birth to a 10 pound child, they can do anything. When I took martial arts, our best fighter was a woman. She kicked the crap out of me so much that the times I beat her in a fight were rare. A girl I dated was a runner in high school like I and she was loads faster than I was. Point being that it doesn't matter regardless of gender.

[zzapp the witch]

Justadude, my dad's a nurse...logger turned nurse actually. He was featured on Peter Jenning's World News Tonight (in 1993?) because he was in the first batch of retrained timber workers through the community college's nursing program. Last line out of Jennings was, "Congradulations, D, you passed." He had just gone through his final tests, part of which were taped, and was stressing very badly about it. I guess that Jenning's crew asked them to put his test through first so they could air the results as a surprise for Dad. Mom said its the only time she's seen dad cry. Male nurses around here are VERY few and far between, Dad says the hardest part of being a nurse is keeping the drama down (a lot of his coworkers are lesbians that interchange relationships between those in the office....can be quite the soap opera).

Morgana, I used the Black and Decker Guide to house wiring. That's not the exact title, but just pop into Lowe's and they have that front bank of books, shouldn't be hard to find. I used it as a reminder/reference, but they have all the stuff you need to know in there. Very well done, IMHO.

[Seshat]

On average across the species, a man is better adapted to handling physical labor and things involving spatial perception,

Males have upper-body mechanical advantage. Females have lower-body mechanical advantage. If I remember my anatomy correctly, we do also apparently have some different wiring in our brain, most notably the corpus callosum (which is about communicating between the two hemispheres).

However, these minor anatomical differences don't affect our ability to drive trucks, tile floors or paint walls, thanks to such inventions as steering linkages and ladders.

[tollbaby]

Okay, I'm not the handiest person when it comes to doing stuff, but I will at least TRY before admitting defeat and asking someone else to do it. (except changing oil. I know I don't have the required equipment - a drip pan, to be specific, and I ain't using my kitchen pots to do it). I put up shelving by myself, I installed hooks and locks by myself, and I buy lots of furniture from Ikea, which I put together BY MYSELF. When I moved into my current apartment, I left half the furniture with my ex-husband, including the cabinet we had previously kept the small tv (mine) in. So I had to cut some of the backing off another cabinet to fit the thing in. The backing was made of.... fiberboard? Anyway, not terribly solid stuff, and the cabinet is older than I am (my parent's old wall unit set) so I wasn't terribly concerned about damaging it. I borrowed my ex's skilsaw, and got to work.

My parents showed up at my door when I was about half done, and my father immediately grabbed the skilsaw from me and said "Let me do that, before you hurt yourself." I was FURIOUS! "You'll note I measured and marked off where I needed to cut, and I was nearly done cutting, THANK YOU." He totally ignored me and even went so far as to remark to my mother that he didn't know who would let me play with a power tool *GRRRRR*.

The only thing I need my boyfriend to do for me is change the lightbulbs in the ceiling fixtures because I can't stand on chairs without getting dizzy (phobia), and I have 10-foot ceilings (he's 6'2", I'm a lot shorter than that).

[friendofjimmyk]

For some reason, this is impressive to people. I don't see why, taking stuff apart is easy, putting it back together....not so much.

If they're impressed by that I have some tile work, flooring, painting, plumbing, windowframing and setting, weedwhacking, pruning, and woodsplitting to show them.

You just described my favorite kind of manual labor! I love tearing stuff apart and rebuilding and making new. I would LOVE to be able to work for the investor I used to work for. He'd buy houses and I'd help remodel them and he'd sell them for more money. I loved that job!

[blas]

I think sexist types of behavior in men and women are learned by their parents, not just the mother.

There's the fathers who teach their sons that women belong in the kitchen and all they are good for is cooking and cleaning and popping out babies....

There's mothers who raise their daughters to learn how to serve men properly so that they'll always be satisfied............then there's mothers like mine who push for their daughters to only work in "pink collar" types of work like secretarial.....

He's always the example here, but my roomate was raised as an only child in a very old fashioned household. Mom never worked a day in her life and never left the kitchen and was never seen without a mop or broom or cooking spoon in her hands. Dad was always hard at work. This is where my roomate learned his warped sense of "gender resposibility".

Henceforth, we can see the early stages as to why our friendship and our living situatio was unhealthy to start out with. I hate cooking, and I refuse to cook and clean and slave away for men who won't appreciate me, but just expect it. I expected him to be old enough to do it himself.

But alas, my "new fangled" ideas of gender are just one of the reasons he left me to be in peace, thank goodness

And I tell you what, the last time a guy told me, "Woman, get me a beer!" in a commanding tone of voice, he got that can of beer whipped right at his head and was shown the door.

The last guy who tried to command me to get his shoes for him and put them on for him as if he were a helpless little kid.....I threw them at his head. Where did these guys come from anyway?! The Maury show?!

[tollbaby]

see, now I've never understood that. I've been encouraging both my kids in ALL kinds of interests to see where their talents lie so I can feed into that. My son is an amazing artist, so I buy him all kinds of art supplies and books on drawing and such (which my daughter also has access to). My daughter is better coordinated, physically, so I signed the kids up for karate (both wanted to go). I've done cookie-baking with BOTH of them, I've done cross stitch with BOTH of them, and BOTH of them want to learn to knit. My dad has been teaching BOTH of them to use basic tools (although I'll tell you, my five year old baby girl with a hammer in her hands is a frightening sight to behold), they're BOTH fascinated with bugs and creepy crawlies and animals and playing in the dirt.

My mom wanted to buy my daughter an easy-bake oven for CHristmas. I said why? We have a REAL oven, and the kids know that if they want to try a recipe, all they have to do is ask for assistance and I'll help them do it. They bought her an ice cream maker (which both kids enjoy playing with). My son doesn't fit the whole "trucks and army guys" stereotype, and although my daughter is the Pink Princess extraordinaire, she shares her dolls and stuff with her brother, who is perfectly comfortable playing dollies with her (and she'll play whatever games he wants with him). I have, however, drawn the line at wearing dresses. There's a subtle difference between allowing your children the freedom to become well-rounded individuals and letting them do stuff that will get their asses kicked by other kids

[Jester]

Personally I think all the sexist shit is....well, sexist shit.

Now, I am a beer-guzzling, car-loving, dry shaving, tool-loving, sports-watching, woman-loving, hottie-ogling, shot shooting man.

That being said, I will cook circles around most women I know.
I work in a business that is definitely dominated by females, and one in which women do make more money than men. Hell, I wear an APRON at work, and I am not cooking there! (Welcome to the fun-filled world of being a waiter surrounded by waitresses.) And I am damn good at it too.
I can decorate with the best of them. (Thanks Mom!)

On the other hand, while I love tools, I do not have nearly the talent with them that, say my stepfather or several females I know have. I cannot retile, refloor, rewire, or refinish anything. Hell, forget the re part...I can't tile, floor, wire, or finish, or do most any other house hardware project. Also, I can do all of three things mechanically with my truck. I can change my tires. I can change my oil. And I can change my mind as to what mechanic I am going to bring my truck to for everything else!

Which brings up an amusing (to me) conversation I had with my girlfriend on our road trip from Savannah to Key West. Her car was having some mechanical difficulties, and she was under the hood doing this and that. At one point, she looked up at me standing there watching her, and said, annoyed, "Don't even tell me what to do. I know exactly what I am doing." To which I replied, "Hell, I know that. *I* couldn't do what you're doing. I'm not even sure I KNOW what you're doing, to be honest." And that was pretty much true. And also to RW's credit, she is the second best driver I have ever seen. I am not immodest about my abilities here, thank you very much, but she is better than anyone else I have ever seen, male or female.

So when I hear people taking that whole 1950's approach to "women can do that?" nonsense, I just roll my eyes. Duh. People are either competent or incompetent, and rarely does it have to do with gender. Just remember what George says........

[protege]

My grandmother always resented that kind of thinking. Years ago, her best friend's father was willing to pay for her to attend college...which was a rare thing in the 1930s in rural PA...but her parents would have none of that. As a result, she never really got to do anything...except cook, clean, and have kids. She has no business sense since Grandpa handled everything up until his death. After that happened, she was literally SOL, and had no clue. She had no idea what company provided the phone service, who was her electric company, etc...simply because she wasn't exposed to it. Oddly ironic that 20 years later, I'd handle most of her business affairs!

When I grew up, it was common for the mother to stay home. Grandma stayed home, my mother stayed home (up to a point...midway through grade school she had to return to work). However, I tried not to think that was her only role...

I mean, if a woman is interested in "my world" (sports cars, trains, etc.) I have no problem with that. In fact, it's pretty cool. For example, just down the street from me is an older lady...who has a 1970s MGB. Slightly later than my GT, but it's also orange! I usually see her cruising around town in it during the summer. At British Car Day last year, I ran into someone...who had bought an MGB from the same garage that's restoring mine. She was there polishing up her 1980 roadster, and her husband was a few rows down with his Healey 3000.

[AirHostess]

Yesterday a co-worker told me that I shouldn't pull the trolley as it's not a job for a girl.

[morgana]

Yesterday a co-worker told me that I shouldn't pull the trolley as it's not a job for a girl.

Did you let him live?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Hmm. My mom told me to hurt people who deserved it.

Honestly, I don't remember anyone in school ever making some deal out of it that I was a girl who did the guy stuff, except for a couple of times...once when some new girl decided she was the hot shot and started bragging to my friends that she got into SO many fights at her old school and whipped all the other girls' asses. My friend Alesha basically responded, "Yeah? This is Mysty. She beats up guys." New girl shut up.

Then there was the asshole, Brad, who I was constantly kicking the crap out of because, let's see, he was a rapist assault-monger BITCH. After a while, he started to trying to pick on my friends since he couldn't get the better of me, and then when I'd get in his face, he'd start blaring on about how bad he'd kick my butt "if you weren't a girl." Suuuure, Brad, that's why the last eight thousand times we've gone at it, it always ended with me sitting on your back and shoving your face into the nearest ant hill until you started crying. Your outdoor plumbing is sooooo scary.

Aside from those two things (and some incident in elementary school with a substitute who was scared I would get hurt but was quickly corrected), I almost always was in with the guys, playing football and basketball with them, getting into brawls, etc., and no one ever really said anything about it, it was just the way it was. There's the guys, there's the girls, and I was on the side with the guys.

Of course, now I get the "girl" thing all the time, and I usually end up silencing that by just going ahead and doing whatever the hell I was thinking of doing anyway, because damnit, I don't have time for it. It's easier to just kick a dude's ass and go on with my life than bother arguing about it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Did you let him live?

I was wondering that very thing myself.