Can we PLEASE get some new Muzak?!

[Argus]

One is probably John Mellencamp's "Rain On The Scarecrow".

[CyberLurch]

The ones who pick the swamp's in-store music must have a few screws loose.

Hey, welcome to our small rural-town store, we're happy to be part of your community! Now enjoy this cheerful song about farmers losing their farms. Oh, we're a family-friendly store too! Hear this inoffensive ditty about a guy wanting to pick up hookers! Whatever you do, don't steal, you WILL be caught! And now here's a song about a guy who builds a car from parts he stole from the factory.

I concur. The selection process doesn't really take into account what the song is actually about, though.

Some of this was explained to me once, a long time ago. I'm not sure I understand it entirely, but IIRC, the ideal background music song for retail should be familiar but not obtrusive, played at a volume that's just barely above the ambient noise on the retail floor, and something that is not TOO soothing.

The idea is you want the trigger the customer's 'happy place' by playing a song that's familiar, but not so loud they automatically block it out. The best 'familiar' is something popular from your target demographic's youth. And the reason you don't want 'too' soothing is because a 'calm' mind is more likely to make informed, rational decisions - like 'Gee, I really DON'T need this Ronco glow in the dark, limited-edition combination turnip slicer, toilet brush, and and left-handed nose picker gadget'.

Oh, and I'm sure that the licensing costs of the songs played is a significant factor, as well.

It's not subliminal, per se, but it does work on a subliminal level. At least, that's the theory as I remember it being explained to me.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I recognize "One Piece at a Time" by Johnny Cash as the one about the stolen car, but what are the others?

One is probably John Mellencamp's "Rain On The Scarecrow".

Yup. The third one is "I Need A Lover," also by John Mellencamp.

[dawnfire]

I hated Christmas when I worked at a certain major Aussie supermarket an hour and a half of looped Christmas carols over a 5 hour shift can drive you batty. but why they threw in Forever autumn by Jeff Wayne's musical 'War of the worlds' a pretty piece but a bit depressing.

[Racket_Man]

Piped in short list MUZAK!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Back about 30 years ago I worked at a Burger King that had an OLD OLD Muzak system. By this I mean a large cart of continuous loop tape. We had 3 of them NOT including the Xmas one (that one got played for about 6 week straight)

Then 10 years ago when I worked at the gas station it was a little better 10 months out of the year. We could play one of the local Top 40 or Oldies stations...

BUT starting November 1st we had to put it on a local station that did Xmas music 24/7 until Dec 31st. This would not have been so bad BUT the station had a VERY SHORT PLAYLIST of Xmas music. Then to top it all off (and some of you might not know about this) the station played the John Tesh syndicated program with JUST as limited a play list.

[XCashier]

The Muzak. Oh good grief, the Muzak. I could go on for hours about how much I hate that damned Muzak.

My store has been playing almost the same exact playlist over and over and over since the day after Christmas. Like Nunavut Pants pointed out, you can practically tell time by what song is playing. It's also way too loud; I can barely hear some of the customers. Most of it is harmless 1960s-1980s pop, but there are an awful lot of annoying songs, like several cover versions sung by some nameless, bland-voiced woman. I also hate that hideous Celine Dion song, "Back To Life", because all I hear is her singing "YAIIII-IIII-iiii, YAIIII-IIII-iiii..." Heaven help us, they've added Hansen's "Mmm-Bop" to the playlist! Even the songs that I did like, I'm getting sick of due to being overplayed.

Halloween is a few months away, and then they'll throw silly novelty songs like "Witch Doctor" and "Monster Mash" here and there throughout the playlist. That only lasts about a week, and it's cute, so that's fine. (Too bad they don't play the Halloween songs I really like, but you can't have everything.)

Christmas...ugh. Horrible, overplayed secular pop Christmas songs, scattered throughout the usual playlist, from mid-November until Christmas Eve.

One St. Patrick's Day years ago, they mixed Celtic instrumentals and Irish folk tunes into the playlist. That, I liked! Pity they haven't done it since.

[chimera]

Gosh, I know! Some songs that would've been alright otherwise are now ruined for me because I associate them with work. Or they're just annoying songs anyway.

"I put my little black dress ooooon, wrote the one and only lyric to this SooOOong, I put my little black dress on!"

"Can't trust these But-er-fly-eye-eye-eye-eye-eyes *crappy techno*"

"It's not OhOhOhOoohOooohver, til it's OooooOOoover!" like this cheesy-ass song?

[notalwaysright]

They added a couple Maria Carey songs, which are nostalgic to me... It's only a matter of time before I'm tired of them, since I hear them at least once a shift. Oh, the black dress song, arg arg arg. They also play songs which have segments of rap which is really out of place for a fabric store. I remember one Halloween they played the theme to Harry Potter. I always smiled. Oh, and Thriller. I guess the only time they can get the music right at my store is Halloween? Certainly not Christmas. *shudder*

[Chromatix]

Obligatory: http://retailcomic.com/comics/february-12-2006/

[Dreamstalker]

And it's not like most of them are bad songs, per se (although, of all the James Bond title songs they could have chosen, why Madonna's godawful title track for Die Another Day?)

Oh so that's what that song is...ew. I also get to hear it 800 times a shift.

And I know it's supposed to be "subliminal" and I'm not even supposed to notice it's there, but it doesn't work.

Ours was generally ignor-able until the last round of construction. One of the things they did was fix the speakers so they were clearer, but in the process they also bumped the volume on everything (except the phones so while it does completely override the Muzak you still have to practically yell for a page to be heard). Now it's almost impossible to hear someone speaking if you're standing anywhere underneath a speaker (and most of our customers swallowing their words anyway doesn't help).

I concur. The selection process doesn't really take into account what the song is actually about, though.

Some of the lyrics in the stuff we play are actually pretty dirty if you pay attention to the whole song.

I've been at my current job for 5 years and the muzak hasn't changed much...if anything, the selection has gotten worse. I once had a lady go nuts on me because the song on the overhead at that time was "New York State of Mind" (one of the few songs I actually like). She started in about how "This is Boston, we hate New York!"...no, people like you hate NY.

I hate Mariah Carey...as a pup I got thrown into one of those camps for 'troubled kids' (every single camper was on some sort of medication and bullying was considered 'therapeutic') and every single morning they played "Make It Happen" as a wakeup call.

I would think that at night they would turn it off or allow the night crew to hook up their music...nobody else in there to complain. But no, we get to listen to the crappy music and yes, in-store ads.

[Terza]

I would think that at night they would turn it off or allow the night crew to hook up their music...nobody else in there to complain. But no, we get to listen to the crappy music and yes, in-store ads.

I've got lucky, my immediate manager allows me to play my own music when I'm on the night shift, and she doesn't mind that I don't switch it off when we're supposed to. But then, she's been in when my music is playing first thing on a Monday, and when the radio is playing, and she says with my 60s mix the customers are happier/less grumpy for 6:30am Monday morning!

[Dreamstalker]

That would never work here. The night crew music (and some of mine) would probably be good at getting customers out of the store though.

When they first changed the Muzak over, it somehow included one of the NIN "Closer" remixes Luckily it came on at about 10PM when there weren't any kids in the store, but that was the first and last time I heard it. For the next couple days L was asking me if I had in fact managed to hack the sound system (I wish).

[DerangedHermit]

I've been at my current job for 5 years and the muzak hasn't changed much...if anything, the selection has gotten worse. I once had a lady go nuts on me because the song on the overhead at that time was "New York State of Mind" (one of the few songs I actually like). She started in about how "This is Boston, we hate New York!"...no, people like you hate NY.

Likewise they always used to play this song in New York:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ASJBXu8tNo

[Monterey Jack]

I hate Mariah Carey...

YOU TAKE THAT BACK...!



Oh wait, you mean her music...never mind.

[notalwaysright]

"I really really really really really really like you!"