Okay... Thursday is my last day of dealing with customers. I should do something special for that last call.
I'm not going to cuss anybody out... I'll still be working for the same company, and besides, when it all comes down, I still recognize the fact that without customers, I don't have a job.
What I'd really like to do is talk like a customer.
Caller: My internet don't work.
Me: I see. What are the whatchamacallits on the thingy doing?
Caller: Huh?
Me: It's really important for me to know what, you know, the thingy's doing.
Caller: My computer, my modem, or my router?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Which one exactly?
Me: (Sigh) The box.
Caller: Okay, it be really helpful if you told exactly which "box." The modem, the router, the computer?
Me: When you had service installed a year ago, the tech came out but you weren't home. It was a wasted trip on our part.
Caller: Well, I had an emergency... what does this have to do with my current problem?
Me: And last July, you were a month late on your payment.
Caller: I was laid off... but what does this have to do with internet?
Me: Are you getting any messages on your, uh, you know.
Caller: No, I don't know.
Me: (Long sigh) When you click on stuff, do you get any messages that say, "Internet Explorer blah blah blah?"
Caller: Blah, blah, blah?
Me: You were late with a payment again in September.
Caller: That's really a side issue. Can we stick to the topic?
Me: When you try to access the internet, do you, um... or do you...?
Caller: Do what?
Me: (Longer sigh) Let's just restart everything.
Caller: How do I do that?
Me: Yes.
Caller: ?
Me: Look, if your not interested in my help, I'll just cancel your service. You know, you're not the only customer out there. There are plenty of others who do want my help.
And on and on and on...
I'm not going to cuss anybody out... I'll still be working for the same company, and besides, when it all comes down, I still recognize the fact that without customers, I don't have a job.
What I'd really like to do is talk like a customer.
Caller: My internet don't work.
Me: I see. What are the whatchamacallits on the thingy doing?
Caller: Huh?
Me: It's really important for me to know what, you know, the thingy's doing.
Caller: My computer, my modem, or my router?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Which one exactly?
Me: (Sigh) The box.
Caller: Okay, it be really helpful if you told exactly which "box." The modem, the router, the computer?
Me: When you had service installed a year ago, the tech came out but you weren't home. It was a wasted trip on our part.
Caller: Well, I had an emergency... what does this have to do with my current problem?
Me: And last July, you were a month late on your payment.
Caller: I was laid off... but what does this have to do with internet?
Me: Are you getting any messages on your, uh, you know.
Caller: No, I don't know.
Me: (Long sigh) When you click on stuff, do you get any messages that say, "Internet Explorer blah blah blah?"
Caller: Blah, blah, blah?
Me: You were late with a payment again in September.
Caller: That's really a side issue. Can we stick to the topic?
Me: When you try to access the internet, do you, um... or do you...?
Caller: Do what?
Me: (Longer sigh) Let's just restart everything.
Caller: How do I do that?
Me: Yes.
Caller: ?
Me: Look, if your not interested in my help, I'll just cancel your service. You know, you're not the only customer out there. There are plenty of others who do want my help.
And on and on and on...


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