Things I've Learned At Work

[Becks]

Things I've learned at work

My boots aren't waterproof.

I'm the only person allowed to wear product stickers on my uniform.

I'm not nearly as much fun when I behave.

"Papercuts" from plastic hurt worse than cutting yourself with a knife.

It's good to have a store manager on your side.

XM 23 is annoying, and even the songs I LIKE, I'm getting VERY tired of.



Feel free to add your own.

[BusyBee]

Sitting down for 15 minutes can make the difference between a dull, tired-eyed me and a peppy, cheery, entertaining me.

Customers are put at ease and find it fun and/or slightly amusing when you say "awesome" a lot.

People replacing you will only be significantly late when you're supposed to be going on break.

I'm disturbingly OCD when I let myself be.

[powerboy]

1. I learned exactly how to do the CC machine, to where it wont act up with me.
2. I learned that Japanese Animation( Anime ) is good.
3. I learned that I know more about owning a business, more then what the owners knows.

[iradney]

Air conditioning dries me out
There are never spoons in the kitchen when you need them
I'm the only one that fills the water cooler

[NightAngel]

"Manager" is synonumous with "Mom", "Defender" and "Psychologist".

The trash bags are always too thin.

The ladder never angels just right.

The paperwork is never actually done.

[draftermatt]

How to work on computers (good skill at least)

Sitting for 8-10 hours a day with nothing to do is god awful.

People will look down on you if you tell them you literally do nothing all day.

You get so used to doing nothing that you hate when work comes in. But when you get used to working you hate when it stops.

Contractors, engineers, and architects are all idiots.

Dropping a 6000 pound concrete beam shakes everything and makes one hell of a noise.

A man can lose two toes and not cry.

A man can get hit in the head with a crane hook and not die.

A man can fall down a 6 story elevator shaft, and land on his head, and not die.

When someone dies on a jobsite remotley related to what you do (nothing to do with the us) it makes every other contractor in the area paranoid.

[Becks]

Even if you're not feeling well, if the managers are in bad moods, you can't work through your lunch and leave half an hour early.

The best time for free snacks is when a catering order is being prepared.

You're less likely to be caught sneaking out for a smokey treat if you act like you're on break and NOT sneaking out.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I can now pretty much make my own schedule now that I have a department and management doesn't give a happy, as long as the HBA orders are sent off before cuttoff and the orders get worked up.

I can sneak to the backroom for a quick smoke and nobody complains

Those little blue dots always seem to stick on everything else, yet fall off the tags that I attempt to put them on so I'll know I have backstock of that product and not to order any more until it's worked through

Never believe compliments given my management - no matter who they are. They're usually critisism in disguise.

A grocery float loaded down with totes of product won't stop on a dime.

I'm like flour - all purpose for I can do wonders. Better yet, just call me Baking Soda.

[ArenaBoy]

Cones get heavy quickly.

Old Ford trucks with 3X rolled over odometers will never destruct.

Meetings are mandatory but you won't get in trouble if you skip them.

A guy can fall off a truck and feel fine.

Annoying pop country songs are instruments of torture.

[Fawn]

Clients playing phone tag with you is not helpful and has been going on for months without any success deserves a kick in the butt.

Working at home can be just as boring as having a full time job.

I miss having co-workers to annoy.

SC's are harder to deal with when they know where you live and that simple fact alone is scary.

Eating over my computer may save time, but is not worth it when your keyboard gets filled with crumbs.

[Sharsarannon]

Theme park caricature artist days:

Very very few people know honestly what they look like.

Fewer want to know.

People with about six kids, dressed relatively nice and no one is screaming?? = usually mormons!

People with strange clothes looking pathetically exhausted in the seventy degree "heat" ? New Englanders.

No one can find the exit until we tell them it's the same as the entrance.

School groups are legions of hell.

There are few things more dazzlingly graceful than a woman wearing a bright shimmering sari and traditional dress- like walking flowers.

People will try to tell me to "fix" some aspect of their child's face right in front of their child.

My voice goes up when I deal with guests.

Never leave artstix in the sun.

The medium will not ever come off your stained hands.

Art Student Studio life:

Charcoal stains everything.
No matter what.

Always bring a sweater.

No matter which solvent you use, oil paint thinner will stink.

Home depot guys will look at you real funny for some of the things you buy there. Turpentine, masonite, random hardware, one- only one- marble tile...

Always bring your sketchbook. Everywhere.

You never know who will walk into your studio.

[Jpurple]

Even people who are reasonably intelligent can be clueless about their children

People who aren't reasonably intelligent are not necessarily clueless about their children

Teacher's children are hell to teach

Keep emergency paper, tissue, glue, and tape hidden where no other teachers or custodians can find them

Always have a spare shirt at work. Two is better.

[blas]

Looking through a microscope for 8 hours a day will definetly hurt your eyes and cause a massive migrane unless you take enough Excedrin before you go into work.

Standing in the exact same spot for 8 hours will lock up your knees.

XM satellite radio does not have any variety. Every channel plays the same songs, over and over and over. Even though they claim to be so much better than regular radio.

Listening to country music 4 nights a week has made me want to cut my ears off.

[nhollywood]

Common sense is not "common".

Everyone who has ever moved into an apartment or home thinks they know every aspect of moving their company to a new location.

If you call me and ask me to do something (non computer related) then chances are I haven't completed it by the time we are off the phone.

Just because you are CEO, it doesn't mean that you know how to run a business. It does mean that you know what your Board of Directors wants to hear.

Just because you own a piece of equipment doesn't mean you know how long it should take to fix it.

[Professional Serf]

"Quick questions" never are!

If you hear a woman on a cell phone say, "Now what do I need to get?" RUN LIKE HELL!!!