Discussion question 1:
Is it ever appropriate to wear a Strawberry Shortcake wig to court? And by "Strawberry Shortcake wig" I mean a pearlescent pink, strawberry-scented, pageboy bob wig. One of our moms thought it was an absolutely dashing fashion accessory.
Discuss.
Discussion question 2:
Is it ever appropriate, if you think the street sign at the entrance to your trailer park is misspelled, to correct the errant letter with a piece of tape and the correct (in your view) letter written on it in magic marker?
Discuss.
Tips for better living:
Tip 1: If you must keep a llama, for God's sake don't let it run loose in the trailer park, and for Goddess' sake don't let the damn thing run loose in the trailer park and bite children.
Tip 2: If the CPS investigator and the sheriff's department have blockaded the entrance to the trailer park because they have credible claims that pretty much everybody in the trailer park is on drugs, you're going to go and get the drug screen. It's going to happen. Period. That's why they brought the vans.
Tip 3: Yes, you did protest about going to get the drug screen. You protested mightily. But you tested positive, along with almost all of your neighbors. Be nice to the foster care workers. They are the gatekeeper between you and your children unless and until a judge says otherwise.
...And now it's time for Dumpster Diving with DSS!
Dark Corner County DSS is located extremely close to an extremely downmarket "department store." It's the sort of store whose customers eschew Wal-Mart for being a place where only fancy, citified people shop. This store is so close that whenever the DSS workers troop outside en masse to smoke, they can mosey on over to the store's dumpster and check out what's been pitched lately. If it's something really good, we're not above fetching it and giving it a home. The tale of the case of Twinkies is legendary because of the Very Important Person who was gifted a dumpster Twinkie, but it was before my time. Since I've been there though, we've liberated a case of tropical fruit-flavored Skittles, a case of paper towels, brooms and cleaning supplies, scented candles, and, last week, two cases of those little candy Valentine's hearts -- the ones made of compressed chalk dust with the little sayings printed on them.
They're delicious. My office mate and I go through at least three boxes a day.
Is it ever appropriate to wear a Strawberry Shortcake wig to court? And by "Strawberry Shortcake wig" I mean a pearlescent pink, strawberry-scented, pageboy bob wig. One of our moms thought it was an absolutely dashing fashion accessory.
Discuss.
Discussion question 2:
Is it ever appropriate, if you think the street sign at the entrance to your trailer park is misspelled, to correct the errant letter with a piece of tape and the correct (in your view) letter written on it in magic marker?
Discuss.
Tips for better living:
Tip 1: If you must keep a llama, for God's sake don't let it run loose in the trailer park, and for Goddess' sake don't let the damn thing run loose in the trailer park and bite children.
Tip 2: If the CPS investigator and the sheriff's department have blockaded the entrance to the trailer park because they have credible claims that pretty much everybody in the trailer park is on drugs, you're going to go and get the drug screen. It's going to happen. Period. That's why they brought the vans.
Tip 3: Yes, you did protest about going to get the drug screen. You protested mightily. But you tested positive, along with almost all of your neighbors. Be nice to the foster care workers. They are the gatekeeper between you and your children unless and until a judge says otherwise.
...And now it's time for Dumpster Diving with DSS!
Dark Corner County DSS is located extremely close to an extremely downmarket "department store." It's the sort of store whose customers eschew Wal-Mart for being a place where only fancy, citified people shop. This store is so close that whenever the DSS workers troop outside en masse to smoke, they can mosey on over to the store's dumpster and check out what's been pitched lately. If it's something really good, we're not above fetching it and giving it a home. The tale of the case of Twinkies is legendary because of the Very Important Person who was gifted a dumpster Twinkie, but it was before my time. Since I've been there though, we've liberated a case of tropical fruit-flavored Skittles, a case of paper towels, brooms and cleaning supplies, scented candles, and, last week, two cases of those little candy Valentine's hearts -- the ones made of compressed chalk dust with the little sayings printed on them.
They're delicious. My office mate and I go through at least three boxes a day.
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