TV shows that make your job harder

[powerboy]

I like Holmes on Homes, and I also like Monster House.

[Fera Festiva]

I saw an awful, awful home decorating show a couple of years back. It was one of those shows where they attempt to show you how to make your house look expensive on the cheap, so you can rip off the poor sap who buys it and make a ton of money.

After painting everything beige and throwing out the handpainted tiles, the designers decided to give the kitchen a "contemporary touch". At the back of a cupboard they found some fugly plates - white, with black Times New Roman text around the edges saying stuff like "DINNER PLATE". I had some just like it when I was a student, because they were the cheapest I could find. So the designers, in their infinite wisdom, mounted these horrific things on the walls. Then they printed out a whole bunch of kitchen-related cliches ("food for thought" and stuff like that) on ordinary printer paper, in the same font, and GLUED them to the cupboards, then varnished over them.

I cried for that poor kitchen.

Er. Anyway - on the subject of annoying TV stuff that makes your job harder - there was an ad here in the UK for a while, where a couple of librarians make loads of noise once they get into the office. I have had to endure people making jokes about that ever since. Yes, sir, we do make noise in the back room. Yes, sir, it's very amusing. There are hilarious consequences.

[MadMike]

Ugh, what really pisses me off is when the homeowner says "Please don't touch suchandsuch piece of furniture" for whatever sentimental-value reason. And the designer spends the next 2 days arguing with the homeowner's friend about how great it would be to do some drastic treatment to that piece of furniture. If I were going to be on Trading Spaces I'd remove anything I didn't want them to touch and get it out of the house altogether.

Agreed.

My wife used to watch that show all the time, so I caught a few bits and pieces here and there.

I couldn't ever let them in my house, because I have ceiling fans and love them, and those guys seem to hate them for whatever reason. And despite being told, "Don't touch the ceiling fans", what do they do? I think I'd be ripping someone a new one if they did that to me.

It's a shame too, because I've seen some really wonderful jobs. But I've also seen enough truly bizarre ones to make me not trust them.

[protege]

I have my grandmother's old dining room table, chairs, plus the buffet. I also grabbed her 1940s (?) style kitchen set--formica and chrome, built like a rock, etc. Both of those things are nearly 60 years old...and if someone decided to "improve" them, I'd have to strangle that person. I don't care if that furniture looks old and could care less about current home trends. Screw that. I wanted the furniture because it was hers, and food was always better when sitting at it

Another favorite piece was my father's old desk. This has been in my possession 25 years, and I have no idea how old it is. I had it refinished some years ago because the original lacquered finish was peeling. While I was at it, I had a piece of Plexiglass cut to protect the top.

One thing I made sure to keep, was the clock Grandma got as a wedding present roughly 60 years ago. It was still running a few years ago, but the mechanism inside was junk. Rather than toss it, I removed the cord, and put it on a shelf. Now that's on a little shelf at my house.

If you haven't noticed already, I'm a bit attached to some of the family things. Most of them are irreplaceable. As such, I take care of them...simply because much of the "fine" furniture now is expensive as hell, and in some cases, crap.

I too would like to smack the "paint everything white" crowd. Why why why did this become popular? Everything in my house is white--the kitchen, both bedrooms, the living room, basement, and even the damn garage! Now that's just wrong--to me a garage is usually painted some nasty-ass color, usually red floor/yellow or white walls simply to keep the dust down.

[XCashier]

One that comes to mind was the designers cutting the posts off of a 4 poster bed as part of the project.

So, he sells a woman a lovely Queen Anne "occasional table," as he called it....So, he refinished it. Two months later, she brings it back to have a peg glued back in, she drags it in and it looks as though someone whipped it with a chain for a few hours and left it in the gutter. It was like it had aged twenty years. He asks, "What the Hell did you do to my occasional table?" and she tells him she gave it a "distressed finish." The reason? "It looked too new."

Oh, don't get me started on the designers painting nice (sometimes hand-crafted!) wood pieces.

GAAH! Save me from the Philistines! Anybody did that to my furniture, they'd be visiting a proctologist to pull out the broken pieces!

Decor-wise, I love natural-looking things. Natural wood, stone, red brick. Every time I see one of these shows where one of these home desecrators (thank you, James Lileks!*) takes a beautiful stone fireplace and paints it baby-poop green, or a lovely wood table and "distresses" it, I just want to scream like a banshee.

(We need a "screaming" smilie!)

*check out his book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1400046408?...74E0KNZ3ZWNQ6&

[Sliceanddice]

The only show i like is Design on a Dime, because THEY LISTEN and only change things that they have permission to mess with.

[powerboy]

I am one of those "white painted rooms" people. I like that it brightens up the room. That is the only reason I like it. Well, that and to me, it looks nice, also.

[jb17kx]

On the natural finsh line of things, I've had a similar experience.

I once was asked by a woman to make a centerpeice-thingy for her dining table - basically just a little plate thing, sort of the thing one might place a gravy boat on.
So I dusted off the lathe and scratched some timber together (eventually choosing cowry pine and silky oak), and spent a few hours with a router and file and sandpaper belts and all of that (I also managed to forget to scrape away excess glue while putting it all together and thus have a line of glue droplets running up the wall, over the window, onto the ceiling and back down me...).
After that I sanded it all down and finshed in jarrah stain and polyurthethane overcoat and gave it to her. She was very impressed.

Come back later and see that she's PAINTED THE BLOODY THING YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[siead_lietrathua]

this is the one thing i cannot stand about my apartment, they painted everything white. not just the walls, that i could stand, but the doors, cubords, rads, everything is white! the only thing not-white is the living room and that is because they didnt have time to repaint it before we moved in.
end rant, heh
on the negatives, to be fair i have tossed out alot of my negs from, like, high school, but only after making high-resolution scans of them. ( i totally reccomend negative scanners btw, made of utter win)

[Princess-Snake]

My mom wanted her old brown (remember, it's brown) rocking-chair to be "touched up" as she calls it. She took it to some shop (I have no idea where) and told the clerk that she wanted them to buff out the scratch marks, buff out any scuff marks, sand down any sharp edged sticking out, basically make it look brand spanking new. The clerk asked if my mom would like the chair to be painted a different color. Mom said no, the chair was given to her by her grandmother and it was precious to her. Fast forward about a week, mom picks up the chair and the scratches and scuffs are buffed out, the sharp edges have been sanded down, the chair looks like it just came out of the store, oh yeah, and it's been painted white. Remember when I said it was brown? Well my mom had a complete fit in the store. She told them that she didn't want the chair to be painted, it was a gift from her grandmother before she died, why did they paint it? Their response? It looked better in white. Mom is angry now and lets loose a tirade of insults and swear words. (Personally, I think it was justified. They screwed up big time!) The owner apologized again and again and promised he would have it fixed. So he got a can of paint that looked almost like the color the chair was originally. (Thank god my mom took pictures of it.) and he painted over the white. He took both paint jobs off the bill and gave my mom a discount on the sanding and buffing. My mom was satisfied but was still as pissed as hell.

[Estil]

Me: I'm firmly convinced he will get everything back in two months... but he's been great, and I don't want to take a chance that in two months, he may decide he doesn't want all those services after all.
Supervisor: I agree. Do whatever you need to do to keep him at his current level and I'll approve it.

Now THAT'S the kind of customers who deserve to have us bend over backwards for. Not the ones that throw tanturms or swear to get their way.

[XCashier]

...I dusted off the lathe and scratched some timber together (eventually choosing cowry pine and silky oak), and spent a few hours with a router and file and sandpaper belts and all of that....
After that I sanded it all down and finshed in jarrah stain and polyurthethane overcoat and gave it to her. She was very impressed.

Come back later and see that she's PAINTED THE BLOODY THING YELLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's like graffiting the Statue of David!

It must have been really beautiful before. Some people just do not appreciate the natural beauty of wood. Sad, really.

[protege]

Mom is angry now and lets loose a tirade of insults and swear words. (Personally, I think it was justified. They screwed up big time!)

I can imagine. Some people don't appreciate fine craftsmanship. That just annoys the hell out of me.

Some years ago, my grandmother had an old Greensboro pottery crock. (If you're into pottery, original-style crocks are *very* expensive now, especially the large ones.) At the time, it had been repainted green for some reason. Apparently, it was thought to be worthless. Now that the factory that made those crocks is no longer in business, the originals are worth thousands. She was pleasantly surprised when she removed the green paint...and the original grey color and blue markings were still there.

Then there are the rich idiots who rebody expensive pre-war sports cars...simply because they don't like the original bodywork. Nevermind that some of those cars were in original condition, and once the original bodywork is destroyed, the car's character is gone forever!

That reason alone why I was careful when I started restoring the MG. I tried to save what I could, and replace everything else. Even though B GTs aren't worth much, I tried to keep the car as I remembered it, right down to the slightly-pitted chrome badges. New ones just don't look right, and aren't metal. Plastic sucks, folks! Eventually, some other things will be redone to retain the car's character. For example, a new S.U. fuel pump will go on--to me, the car sounds odd without that ticking sound from under the back seat!

[Ms. Pounce]

This entire thread is giving me heart attack after heart attack.

I'm going to go cry into my coffee now.

[auntiem]

Isn't technology Great?

The second really notable thing happened years ago. It was another design-type show, but about cleaning out and organizing and stuff. The host sent the couple to a hotel (it was a 2-day show) with a box of stuff to do - including organizing photos.

Ok, no biggie - except he told them to throw away the negatives because "you don't need those any more!"

Wanna bet? It's going to cost you four times more to make a photo from a print instead of a negative (unless we take pity on you) and the quality is never quite as good. Dust, color, fingerprints, wear and tear, not to mention the fact that you are copying what is a copy. Please, save your originals - the negatives!

That was Clean Sweep - they do this all the time - makes me cry. My biggest pet peeve of that show is that they make people throw out their negatives then clutter up their new rooms with pillar candles - arh!

The shows that make my work hell are some of the ones on the Travel Channel. I wish just once they would put a "filmed in 1998" tag on them or at least check to see if the trip they are featuring is even currently operating. When they air some of the train ones - trust me I know it by Monday and have to crush the hopes of a half a dozen people because that company ceased operations in 2003.
Or I get the "but it is the Travel Channel's top 10" - sure that was five years ago, before the hurricane - it looks nothing like that now. It is to the point where if the conversation starts "I was watching the Travel Channel this weekend..." I visibly cringe.