Boy Am I Glad I Came In For This

[B&NGoddess]

friend and i were out shopping and stopped by my B&N so she could take advantage of my discount. a guy walks up to the counter and asks the cashier:

"where's the nearest strip club?"

[Rapscallion]

"I don't think they're hiring, buddy."

Rapscallion

[JustADude]

Oddly enough I was asked that the other day and I just pointed down the road, saying "About three blocks that way. Look for the converted theater." It didn't hit me what he asked for for a solid 5 minutes, since we actually take a few deliveries a week out there. And no, we haven't lost a driver yet.

[strawbabies]

Back in my days of selling show tickets in Vegas, I had a guy call one day with a very heavy Asian accent. He asked if the show (traditional topless Vegas revue) had go-go dancers. I told him that, no, he'd have to go to a strip club for that sort of thing. Then he asked where the strip clubs were. They don't have any on "the Strip", go figure, so I told him he could ask any cab driver to take him to one. The guy didn't get it, so I just kept repeating that, and got louder and louder. Imagine my manager's surpirse when she walked into the call center to hear me yelling at this idiot that ANY CAB DRIVER CAN TAKE YOU TO A STRIP CLUB!

[Becks]

Of all the places I've ever been asked to give directions to, never has anyone asked for directions to a strip club. Porn shops, sure...

[Andara Bledin]

See, it used to be I could snap off an answer to that one without a pause. There was the Fantasy Ranch at Paramount & South and the Flamingo on Artesia between Cherry and Paramount. But I suspect that Long Beach changed the zoning laws on them, becuase both of them ceased to operate as "gentelman's clubs" within a week of each other.

However, I'm fairly certain that Fritz's is still in operation up on Artesia and Bellflower. I had a car die on the freeawy, and I ended up in Fritz's parking area, once. It's an interesting landmark to give the towtruck driver when you're female.

If you're in the LAX area, there's the Wild Goose on Aviation which is a topless palce, and the Live Nude Nude place (it's actually named something else, but the sign has said "Live Live Nude Nude" practically forever, although they're down to just one Live, now) at Century and Aviation.

Supposedly, if you want a superior strip joint, you hit some place near Anaheim, I forget the name.

I've seen billboards for the Spearming Rhino and the Rio, but I couldn't tell you where either one was.

Porn shops are easy. 3rd Street in the downtown area has what is supposed to be the best one in the city.

I'm going to leave it up to your imaginations on whether or not I've ever been in any of the aforementioned establishments.

^-.-^

[BookstoreEscapee]

I gotta say, I would not be able to answer that question. There are one or two "adult bookstores" I could direct you to if I thought about it, though...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

friend and i were out shopping and stopped by my B&N so she could take advantage of my discount. a guy walks up to the counter and asks the cashier:

"where's the nearest strip club?"

And did you direct them to someplace off I-94 in Racine or Kenosha county?

94 from Racine to the Illinois border seems like one strip joint or adult bookstore after another.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I'm going to leave it up to your imaginations on whether or not I've ever been in any of the aforementioned establishments.

Don't ask how I know this, just know that I do...

To get to the nearest strip clup, take Calgary Trail until you reach the Whitemud, when you want to turn back north on Gateway Boulvard. It's called "Diamonds Gentlemen's Club", and is right beside a Tom Goodchild's Moose Factory. (It's actually a steakhouse, not a place where moose are manufactured.)

Concidering the volume of men that shop/work at my place of employment, I'm a little surprised I haven't had to say that yet.

EDIT: Sorry, I forgot that I did give those directions once.

[SuperDan]

Since everyone seems to think that the cart pusher at the grocery store is supposed to be some sort of interactive map or something, I'm surprised I haven't gotten that particular one yet.

But of course, if asked, I'd likely spout off without even blinking: "Go back out on Central Ave and head West and into the next city until you hit Ripley Street/Hwy 51. It's by city hall and the fire station. Turn left. It's just past the DQ and practically behind city hall. Can't miss it."

And having close friends in Kenosha and Racine, I agree with IP about sending them to any random exit on I-94 in those two counties. Lake County, Illinois, and specifically the village of Zion, have strict laws about porn and strippers, so the highway just north of the border is lined with porn shops and strip clubs.

[ArenaBoy]

94 from Racine to the Illinois border seems like one strip joint or adult bookstore after another.

Good lord even though I never stopped in those areas I remember seeing billboard after billboard for a porn shop or a strip club.

As for the actual question: There's one in Flint which is a bit of a drive but it's worth it, and then there's a bunch in downtown Detroit but the best ones happen to be in Windsor if you don't mind the border regulations.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And along with the porn shops and strip clubs between Milwaukee and the border, there is an abundance of cheese, sausage and fireworks shops. I was driving down to Illinois today with friends.

You talk about your humerous juxtapositions.

[Jpurple]

You know, that's an easy question to answer here, provided I know what kind of strip club they're looking for... (do you want Soi Cowboy(boobs), Nana Plaza(booze) or Patpong(sleaze)?? I can give directions to all three...) back home, I wouldn't have a clue where to find a strip club- I'm not even sure the town I'm from has any...

[Aldous]

"Down by the Airport"
I loved that Mad TV Episode with George Carlin "Touched By an Athiest." This reminded me of it.
Pope: "So there is no heaven?"
GC: "It's a strip joint down by the airport, c'mon I'll take you there."

[Antisocial_Worker]

What I've taken to doing when someone asks me where they can find a strip club or where they can get a hooker, is to ask completely innocently as though I'm genuinely interested in assessing their needs, "Straight or gay?'

That usually stops them in their tracks for a few beats, and besides, we've got both of each in abundance around here.