Another great way to impress at a job application

[Spiffy McMoron]

It's funny to see that many people huddled around the tiny little 'computer' (application station- whatever) whispering and pointing at the screen.

On the plus side, you'd be getting five workers for the price of one.

Right? Right?

[workerbee222]

Glancing down an application, under "reason for leaving" an applicant had written, "Don't Ask!"

Well, if she wasn't going to take the process seriously, I figured I didn't have to either, Into the circular file that went.

[JustADude]

Glancing down an application, under "reason for leaving" an applicant had written, "Don't Ask!"

Well, if she wasn't going to take the process seriously, I figured I didn't have to either, Into the circular file that went.

I've got 2 separate "Complicated" departures that can't be explained well in tiny boxes.

#1: My fiancee died and I was a total wreck. I literally lost it to the point I couldn't work for over a week, and when I tried to go back I had a low-grade breakdown in the middle of the kitchen. Somehow the terms "Personal", "Mourning, and "Bereavement" just don't cover the depth of it, but I can't put anything else without it sounding like a sob story.

#2: I worked for a real scum-bag telemarketing company. At the time they were known as Microtek Solutions, but now they go by MTek (PAs and Mgmt remember that if they call you), and the script I had to use was a razor-thin margin away from fraud, while the prices they charged were about 400% RETAIL... while we were trying to scam government offices, corporations, etc, that usually got wholesale or bulk prices. I left because, well, I wasn't able to deal with the unethical practices and got fired for it. I'm honest with this one, because getting fired for being honest isn't going to be a black mark at the kind of place I'd want to work, but I worry that, in a REALLY tight space, they might mistake "Ethical Dispute" or "Unethical Practices" to mean *I* was the one doing something hinky.

Either way, though, yeah "Don't Ask!" might as well be "Don't Ask Me To Come Back!'

[SubwayGirl]

One of my favorites: teenage applicant handed me his application. I looked at it and asked him what hours he was available because on his application he had written that he can't work on school days because his parents wouldn't let him work on school nights and he needed Saturday and Sunday off to spend with his friends. He says "oh, um my parents wanted me to get a job, but I guess I can't earn in money for not working huh?"

[NightAngel]

...He says "oh, um my parents wanted me to get a job, but I guess I can't earn in money for not working huh?"

Absolutely priceless!
I want a job where I get paid for not working also! Hire me!

[Jester]

I've got 2 separate "Complicated" departures that can't be explained well in tiny boxes.

#1: My fiancee died and I was a total wreck.

#2: I worked for a real scum-bag telemarketing company.

#1: "Left for personal reasons." OR "Left due to death in the family."

#2: "Left to philosophical differences between management and myself." OR "Left for different/better opportunity." After all, anything was better than that, right?


By the way, to the younger generation (and come to think of it, many members of all generations), two tips for job hunting, EVEN for when you are getting an application:

1. Dress well. Even in a casual place like where I live, management will notice how you dress when you come to ask them to hire you. I am not saying you should break out the full young Republican three piece suit. But an Ozzy shirt and ripped jeans with sandals? Um, no. Dress nicely, dress conservatively.

2. Bring your own pen. Many managers I have worked with WILL note on the application somewhere that the "applicant did not bring a pen to fill out the application." Needless to say, very few of these unprepared people get called, let alone hired.

Remember, their first impression of you IS when you pick up and/or fill out the application.

[NightAngel]

2. Bring your own pen.

Abso-freakin'-lutely.

I always take my own pen AND paper with me when I'm applying or interviewing.

A pen says that you have thought about what you are going to be doing and are prepared for your task. It is thought that you will carry such foresight into a job. It says you are organized and ready...

A simple pen can say a great deal about you to a potential employer.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I looked at it and asked him what hours he was available because on his application he had written that he can't work on school days because his parents wouldn't let him work on school nights and he needed Saturday and Sunday off to spend with his friends.

That's why you hire him to work on the eighth, nineth, and tenth days of the week, known as "octidi", "nonidi" and "decadi".

Think I'm making up crap?

[Misanthropical]

I have telemarketing on my resume too, and when I'm asked why I left I simply tell the person "It was telemarketing" and they usually understand.

[Boozy]

~ Complete the application and when the computer says "Sending" wander around the store trying to figure out where it's sending to.

No freaking way. That's just too funny.

I've got a good one. A woman dropped off her resume last week (I never saw her, I was at lunch when she came in). The resume was perfect, she had experience, had full availability, and could start immediately.

Then I read her extremely lengthy cover letter. She spent THREE pages griping about her current job - how stupid her boss was, how much she hated her co-workers, how much she hated her schedule, there's no parking, she doesn't get a discount, dress code is too stringent, too much heavy lifting, how she'll take any job anywhere just to get out.

That one hit the trash can immediately.

[Pezzle]

I have telemarketing on my resume too, and when I'm asked why I left I simply tell the person "It was telemarketing" and they usually understand.

Same with Chuck E. Cheese's.

So why'd you leave?

...IT WAS CHUCK. E. CHEESE. AAHGUGHGUGHGUGH!!

[Jester]

Yes, I have to be very diplomatic and creative when I list why I left the jobs where I worked for Cocksucker and Shit Weasel. Luckily, I CAN be very diplomatic and creative.

Good news: Just found out that Cocksucker is no longer responsible for ruining...er, uh, RUNNING my old restaurant. He has "decided to relocate." In other words, the higher ups finally shitcanned his ass.

One down. One to go.

[Der Cute]

I got canned from my last job. Yeah I did.

Had an interview yesterday, and they asked why I don't work there anymore - I said because the job doesn't fit right, it's too....Rigid. And when I say Rigid, I'm talking Asking for Toilet Paper Squares to Take A Dump Rigid.

So I answered, Its too...rigid. It's hard to do thinking of your own, which is something I need to have in a job.

don't think I got this job but it's practice in interviewing.

cutenoob

[myswtghst]

1. Dress well. Even in a casual place like where I live, management will notice how you dress when you come to ask them to hire you.

I completely agree. On What Not To Wear (which is a guilty pleasure for me, shut up) they always talk about dressing for the job you want, which I think is a great thing to remember. Now that I've had my job for 2 years, yes, I know I can get away with jeans and a hoodie with ancient Converse. But when I've been meeting with higher-ups about moving to a new/different position, I always at least put on a button-down shirt or polo, nice pants and a pair of flats. It's not that hard, people, but it makes such an impression!

[JustADude]

I completely agree. On What Not To Wear (which is a guilty pleasure for me, shut up) they always talk about dressing for the job you want, which I think is a great thing to remember. Now that I've had my job for 2 years, yes, I know I can get away with jeans and a hoodie with ancient Converse. But when I've been meeting with higher-ups about moving to a new/different position, I always at least put on a button-down shirt or polo, nice pants and a pair of flats. It's not that hard, people, but it makes such an impression!

Eh, What Not To Wear is one of the better fashion shows out there. They give advice on fit and styles, tell you WHY they're giving you those rules, and help you look good while still keeping your own basic style ('80s hair-metal holdout getting a modern Rocker look, for example), or teaching you Generic Style if you have absolutely NO clue (most of them).

And yes, I agree that you definitely need to dress for the job you want. If I had a good suit, I'd be wearing THAT to the interview. As it is, I wear a black polo and khaki's for a 'casual' job (gas station, retail, etc) or a colored button-down and black slacks for a more formal job.