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Some of you may remember a post I did a while back on an asshole cook I worked with, who I dubbed Chief Assmunch. Well, I am happy to say that several weeks back Chief Assmunch got fired from The Bar that RW and I work at, and his replacement, who I shall call Traveler, is an awesome guy, good cook, great worker, and funny as hell. His stories of past exploits in the food service industry rarely fail to entertain myself and my coworkers. Here are a couple that he told us today....
Trippin' on Ingredients....
Years ago, while working as a waiter in a fine dining restaurant out West, Traveler had an interesting experience with his coworker, a busser I shall call for no particular reason Tito. Well, Traveler and Tito were working the day shift and were on call for the night shift at the restaurant. Knowing that all the other day shift people were on doubles, and thus all the night shifts were covered, Traveler and Tito decided to have some fun once they were cut, and went to a minor league baseball game....and indulged in some psychedelic mushrooms. After all, they had seen all the night people at work that day, so knew that no one was going to call out sick...how do you call out for the night shift when you were there for the day shift?
Well, the call-in time came, they called in....and discovered they had to work! Apparently the management had fired one of the waiters and one of the bussers, and needed Traveler and Tito to cover their night shifts! Having no other choice, our intrepid (and tripping) heroes went into work, seriously under the influence of all kinds of hallucinations! Traveler was carrying some martinis to his table when he overhead this conversation between Tito and a table when Tito was serving them some bread...
WOMAN: "And what kind of bread is this?"
TITO: "That is dill bread, ma'am."
WOMAN: "And why is it so green?"
TITO: "Because we make it with a fresh dill dough."
Treveler LOST IT, spilling both martinis all over himself, and laughing uncontrollably, half because of the shrooms, half because of what he had just heard. Tito and the woman didn't get it at first, but Traveler was gone. He managed to change his shirt after he recovered, but as soon as he returned to the floor, he once again heard the woman and Tito discussing the "dill dough" and that was it for him. He broke down laughing so hard he had to have another server cover his section.
And if you don't get the humor here, I am NOT explaining it to you!
The Best Interview Ever
Fresh out of culinary school, Traveler applied to be a sous chef at a very good restaurant. He actually got a second interview, so was pretty sure he had the job. When he showed up for the interview, there were two other cooks in the lobby of the restaurant.
TRAVELER: "Hey, guys, what's up? What are you here for?"
COOK #1: "The sous chef job."
COOK #2: "Me too."
TRAVELER: "Me too! What time is your interview for?"
COOK #1: "Two o'clock."
COOK #2: "What? That's the time my interview is!"
TRAVELER: "That's weird...that's my time as well. Well, boys, ONE of us is getting a job today!" [Remember, they were all there for a second interview.]
At 2:00 the Head Chef came out to greet the three would be sous chefs, carrying with him a knife, a cutting board, and three onions. Traveler had no idea what was about to happen, but had a feeling this was going to be a bit different. He was right.
HEAD CHEF: (to Cook #1) "Dice me an onion."
COOK #1: (dices the first onion) "There you go!"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent work. Thank you." (to Cook #2) "Now you...dice me an onion.
COOK #2: "Would you like that to be a large dice, a medium dice, or a fine dice?"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent question. Give me a fine dice."
COOK #2: (finely dices the second onion) "How's that?"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent." (turns to Traveler) "And you, please...dice me an onion."
TRAVELER: "Sure. But first...where can I wash my hands?"
HEAD CHEF: "You're hired!"
COOKS #1 & 2:
The other more experienced cooks had shown their expertise at onion dicing. Traveler, fresh out of culinary school, showed the head chef that he knew that, coming in off the street, the first thing he should do before handling food was to take care of basic hygiene. Proving that it's not always about what you know or your skills, but how much attention you really are paying.
Personally, I love that second story!
Trippin' on Ingredients....
Years ago, while working as a waiter in a fine dining restaurant out West, Traveler had an interesting experience with his coworker, a busser I shall call for no particular reason Tito. Well, Traveler and Tito were working the day shift and were on call for the night shift at the restaurant. Knowing that all the other day shift people were on doubles, and thus all the night shifts were covered, Traveler and Tito decided to have some fun once they were cut, and went to a minor league baseball game....and indulged in some psychedelic mushrooms. After all, they had seen all the night people at work that day, so knew that no one was going to call out sick...how do you call out for the night shift when you were there for the day shift?
Well, the call-in time came, they called in....and discovered they had to work! Apparently the management had fired one of the waiters and one of the bussers, and needed Traveler and Tito to cover their night shifts! Having no other choice, our intrepid (and tripping) heroes went into work, seriously under the influence of all kinds of hallucinations! Traveler was carrying some martinis to his table when he overhead this conversation between Tito and a table when Tito was serving them some bread...
WOMAN: "And what kind of bread is this?"
TITO: "That is dill bread, ma'am."
WOMAN: "And why is it so green?"
TITO: "Because we make it with a fresh dill dough."
Treveler LOST IT, spilling both martinis all over himself, and laughing uncontrollably, half because of the shrooms, half because of what he had just heard. Tito and the woman didn't get it at first, but Traveler was gone. He managed to change his shirt after he recovered, but as soon as he returned to the floor, he once again heard the woman and Tito discussing the "dill dough" and that was it for him. He broke down laughing so hard he had to have another server cover his section.
And if you don't get the humor here, I am NOT explaining it to you!
The Best Interview Ever
Fresh out of culinary school, Traveler applied to be a sous chef at a very good restaurant. He actually got a second interview, so was pretty sure he had the job. When he showed up for the interview, there were two other cooks in the lobby of the restaurant.
TRAVELER: "Hey, guys, what's up? What are you here for?"
COOK #1: "The sous chef job."
COOK #2: "Me too."
TRAVELER: "Me too! What time is your interview for?"
COOK #1: "Two o'clock."
COOK #2: "What? That's the time my interview is!"
TRAVELER: "That's weird...that's my time as well. Well, boys, ONE of us is getting a job today!" [Remember, they were all there for a second interview.]
At 2:00 the Head Chef came out to greet the three would be sous chefs, carrying with him a knife, a cutting board, and three onions. Traveler had no idea what was about to happen, but had a feeling this was going to be a bit different. He was right.
HEAD CHEF: (to Cook #1) "Dice me an onion."
COOK #1: (dices the first onion) "There you go!"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent work. Thank you." (to Cook #2) "Now you...dice me an onion.
COOK #2: "Would you like that to be a large dice, a medium dice, or a fine dice?"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent question. Give me a fine dice."
COOK #2: (finely dices the second onion) "How's that?"
HEAD CHEF: "Excellent." (turns to Traveler) "And you, please...dice me an onion."
TRAVELER: "Sure. But first...where can I wash my hands?"
HEAD CHEF: "You're hired!"
COOKS #1 & 2:
The other more experienced cooks had shown their expertise at onion dicing. Traveler, fresh out of culinary school, showed the head chef that he knew that, coming in off the street, the first thing he should do before handling food was to take care of basic hygiene. Proving that it's not always about what you know or your skills, but how much attention you really are paying.
Personally, I love that second story!
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