I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?

[protege]

Just because they aren't blood relatives doesn't mean they can't be family.

Exactly. There are people that I've known for years that I consider family.

One that comes to mind, is one of my grandmother's former neighbors. They were probably in their late 20s, early 30s when I first met them. They were always at her house, mainly because she was lonely, and they would keep her company sometimes. Grandpa had just died and Grandma enjoyed the company. They lived just up the road, and did so for a number of years. Then the husband lost his job, and they had to move

By then, they had a young daughter, but still came to the farm for Christmas....mainly to help me set up the tree, and see Grandma. At these little parties, my job was to keep Heather occupied--playing with toys, petting the kitty, watching cartoons, etc. In fact, the first time she came, she ended up falling asleep in my arms while watching cartoons.

From then on, I've always thought of her as a little sister, and from what I've heard, she looks up to me. Even more so now, that her father ran out on them. Bastard.

Anyway, 2 years ago, she and her mother came to set the tree up, but the lights didn't work for some reason. So Heather and I drove into town for a new set or two. Just about every store we went into...people were staring at us! Keep in mind that she was 14 or 15, and I'm roughly twice her age.

WTF? Apparently, they all thought she was my girlfriend! I mean, we were picking on each other a bit, but, as nice and wonderful as Heather is... um, ew? Apparently the concept of "I've known her for years, we're just good friends" is too hard for those fools...

[Brighid45]

Yeah, well obviously Ms Superior is a legend in her own mind, which automatically disqualifies her from having anything of importance to say, period. So feel free to ignore her, she's an eedjit and not worth your time, as you already know.

As for family that isn't biologically related, but family all the same--of course! I had 'courtesy' aunts and uncles growing up, as did my mother and father. It was not considered unusual at all. (My mom's kickass recipe for molasses cookies came from her Aunt Hattie, a friend of her mother's.) And I'm a foster mom/friend to two wonderful young people I met online. I love them both just as much or more as if they were my own, and try to be there for them whenever possible.

Family does not have to consist of biologically related people. Family is where you find them. That's one of life's few true joys, imo.

[powerboy]

I know what you feel like.

My ex. I never really got along with her family that good. I got along with her brother, his wife & daughter & son just fine. Every time when I was living with her and her family came over, I would go outside and play her niece and nephew. Apparently, I was a pedo because of that.

Can I help it, if most of her family hated me, except for them. I was always outside the front window, where they could watch us. Hell, they got bored inside, so we end up having fun outside

[Becks]

I'm honorarily Auntie Becky to half of Green Bay and surrounding areas...and to my friends' children.

Also, get crazy with the Cheese Whizz!

Drive by body pierce.

[draggar]

BTW - Jester, is this co-worker a waitress? Can I go there and be the most demanding customer but leave her a nickel tip and tell her she's a complete and total bitch? Please? Please? Please?

I know how to be a sucky customer!!

[Jester]

BTW - Jester, is this co-worker a waitress? Can I go there and be the most demanding customer but leave her a nickel tip and tell her she's a complete and total bitch? Please? Please? Please?

Yes she is and no you can't.

Because while she is a judgmental condescending idiot as a coworker, she also happens to be a damned good waitress. Not as good as she thinks she is, mind you, but still damn good. And she definitely deserves a good tip for the work she does.

I may not like her or her general attitude, but that does not mean I feel it is alright to leave her a crappy tip when she does a good job.

[draggar]

You ruin my fun plans, but OK.

BUT..

If I see anything, the gloves will be off.

[Jester]

Well, Miss Superior was at it again yesterday. I haven't worked with her since the first incident, but she made up for lost time, not once, but twice.

So I was waiting on a lovely family of four (two adults, two adorable little girls, about 8 and 4 years old). Each adult had about three drinks. The family ate a LARGE meal (3 courses). They were there for a while. The parents were completely lucid, not acting sleepy, drunk, off in any way. No problem.

MISS SUPERIOR: "So, those two are slamming down drinks, huh?"
JESTER: "What? No. They've been drinking at a very reasonable, even slow pace. Why?"
MISS SUPERIOR: "I served them last week, and they slammed down a bunch of drinks before they told me they were off to pick up their kids."
JESTER: "Wow. Well, no, today they are being very reasonable."
MISS SUPERIOR: "Well, if it were me and I knew they would be driving their kids, I wouldn't serve them!"

Her first implication: That these people were unfit parents and she knew better than them. I don't think they were, but that is her opinion to have, and who knows? She might be right.
Her second implication: That I was a lousy and irresponsible server.

Okay, as a server, our job regarding serving alcohol is NOT to play parent or guardian to everyone who walks in, but to not serve minors and to not overserve. It is not illegal in any way to serve a lucid adult adult beverages. As adults, it is their job to determine how much is too much for them. Our job is to merely make sure they don't go bonkers. Her implications about the people really irritated me. They were very nice, their children were very well behaved, and when they left, to my eye, they were not impaired--and yes, I know you can't always tell this, but again, see my above comments. But her implications about me? Um, no. Don't go there, darlin'.

And that was not all. My eldest niece, Princess works as a hostess in the same establishment, and was working last night. At one point she comes up to me and tells me she doesn't think that Miss Superior is all that nice, and is actually kind of mean. I ask her why she said this, and she related the following conversation she had with Miss Superior earlier.

MISS SUPERIOR: "Princess, you look tired."
PRINCESS: "Well, I didn't get to sleep last night until 3:30."
MISS SUPERIOR: "Why not?"
PRINCESS: "I had a friend over to watch a movie, and he didn't leave until 2:30."
MISS SUPERIOR: "And your parents are alright with that?"
PRINCESS: "Well, my mom is out of town, but she was okay with that, yeah. Jester is the adult in charge while mom is away."
MISS SUPERIOR: "Really. (condescendingly) And how is that working out for you?"

Again, the implication that I am not competent enough to be a responsible adult, or that allowing Princess to have a friend over at that hour is Unacceptable.

1. Mom had met the friend.
2. I made a point of meeting the friend that night, AND of making sure he understood that a thread on his life existed, and it was not a joke or for sure.
3. Princess is basically a responsible teenager, and usually quite trustworthy.
4. Her mom has no problem putting me in charge, and trust me with both her daughters.
5. It's none of Miss Superior's fucking business! Nor her place to make such judgments about other people!

This woman just really irritates me, and I am glad I rarely work with her. Grrr......

(angrily stomping off to abuse some produce in the kitchen)

[Soulstealer]

5. It's none of Miss Superior's fucking business! Nor her place to make such judgments about other people!

This woman just really irritates me, and I am glad I rarely work with her. Grrr......

(angrily stomping off to abuse some produce in the kitchen)

Would you like a voodoo doll? I'm not saying you have to use it or anything...

[Seshat]

I think it's time someone pointed out to Miss Superior that she's not the world's babysitter. She's clearly under the delusion that she's the only responsible adult on your lovely tropical island, Jester.

[iradney]

A rather wise friend of mine once pointed out to me that we tend to dislike and criticise the things in other people that we dislike in ourselves. Which means that when we judge people for certain things, especially when we don't know all the details, we are judging based on what we would've done.
Which leads me to think Miss Superior was thinking gutter-minded, as that is most likely something she herself would've done.
(I'm just as guilty of doing this, but at least I do it in a non-bitchy way - I hope!)

[Imogene]

Family does not have to consist of biologically related people. Family is where you find them. That's one of life's few true joys, imo.

Often enough, it's the non-blood relatives who turn out to be true family.

I have an extensive non-blood family, mostly because my blood family tends to make me want to curl up and die.

[myswtghst]

I have a lot of non-blood related family that I LOVE dearly. My godfather is my uncle by marriage, and I'm blessed to have him in my life. Beyond that, I have a theatre director from high school who I care about a great deal. I feel bad for him, because people often speculate that he's a perv for hanging around with young women, but he's never crossed any kind of line, he just does theatre with young adults. It makes me sad that it wasn't until I hit 22 that people stopped acting like it was creepy when we hugged or hung out closely, given that I trust him implicitly.

I also think iradney makes a very good point--obviously if she is insinuating that all of this is pervy or irresponsible, and that your niece is trampy for having a boy over, we know how she acted at that age.

[ArenaBoy]

What a real family is....

I grew up in a neighborhood that is my family and my best friend I consider as a younger sister to me. I grew up with kids 8-10 years older than me whom I consider older siblings. Their parents are like 2nd parents to me and I love them like my family. One of the older members of this "family" I call my older sister. We openly call each other our siblings. I trust them a lot more than my real family and my parents said they never moved because of them. It's not about blood, I can prove it and the numerous people that I know and grew up with can prove it. I learned a lot of things through them than I ever did in school.

The man I posted about in Off Topic is like a father to me and I was proud that he had an interest in what I did, his 4 sons are all older brothers to me. I would never replace my "family", I love them beyond all reason and this idiot waitress would never understand that. Family is not about those who are of blood relation but of those who care about you and are willing to help you through anything. That's a true family.

EDIT: I should add that there is a photo of one of the adults that know me well with me in it. I've had people ask me if that was my father because everything about it just screams it. I always say "Nope but I consider him to be a 2nd father to me."

[Cia]

I have an unofficial adopted sister. K asked my Dad if he would adopt her, he said yes, instant sister - don't add water. K and my sister have made up a complicated family tree - K's Mom was married to K's older sister's Dad, then divorced him and married our Dad (after he divorced our Mom), divorced Dad and remarried older sister's Dad and our Dad then remarried our Mom. Confused? Join the club because K and my sister had many teachers in Jr. and Sr. high school believing the above story.

Dad always got a big laugh out of the strange looks he would get during Parent/Teacher conferences.