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Here is a tale of many things gone wrong with the job market. It's not pretty, and you may become sick to your stomach with the plague by the end... Or you'll have a good chuckle and agree.
Part 1: Network Analyst
I had gone in for an interview with a bank who had taken out an ad in the paper for "Network Analyst". Now, I had already gathered the required information about this job. Yes, I would be working with computers. Doing what? The lady on the other line didn't know, but I would be informed during the interview.
I pieced together that since the title was "Network Analyst" and that I'd be working with computers, that it would really be what it was advertised to be. And since they were only taking those who were least experienced, I thought I was a shoo in. I went in for my little interview and was finally asked about my qualifications. I informed the guy I had no formal education on computers, that I had learned everything myself and was looking to put what I knew to use. I also told this man that I had built my computer, did the internet connection setup and such for my house and another private business, and consistently ran troubleshooting on mine, my families, and the same private businesses systems and that I felt that I was maybe just a little above their needs as far as experience, but that I really wanted to work there.
The man sat there politely, listening to my every word, asked questions. Then said 'Well, that's amazing that you can do all that, but you know that as our network analyst, you'd be redirecting the phone calls made to this building. Do you think you could do that?'
I stood and left the room.
Part 2: Hall Passes
The next place I went to was a little more oriented towards what their ad said in the paper than the first place. I would definitely be working on computers doing their troubleshooting and such. Basically, I would be an on-site tech. As we were nearing the part of the interview where she (the boss) was telling me about what my job would entail, pay, benefits, etc. She told me that I would need to get my supervisors permission to use the restroom as being the tech, I would need someone to cover for me for when I took care of my business. I looked at her for a second and repeated the permission statement back to her. She affirmed it, I would need to ask to take a piss.
I politely told her that I wasn't in school anymore and that if I needed to use the facilities that I would go at an appropriate time and that I WOULD NOT ask permission to relieve myself. Then I bid her a good day.
Part 3: Notice a trend here?
I reluctantly went back to my workforce commission to see if they could possibly find something for me. Of course, there was plenty of job openings for a person without a degree or any decent amount of work experience. I could be a loader at Fed-Ex. Or I could be a loader at Ab-Tex beverage. Or I could be a loader for a furniture store. Or I could work at certain retail chains that have already either fired, or asked me to quit. Or I could sling burgers at the golden arches.
Reluctantly I asked if any of those jobs were full time. Imagine my surprise when I found out that NONE of them were full time, and half of them wanted me to go through a temp agency. I thanked the workforce commission for wasting my time again (There's some post around here somewhere about them) and left.
Part 4: The final straw
I went to the City as they generally have job postings and thought I could get one there mopping up monkey poo at the zoo or something. Nope. All driving jobs. And all require a license grade higher than mine. And none of them were full time either. Even the CITY is trying to get out of benefits. So, in my infinite patience and wisdom, I leave the office, turn the corner and say the word "fuck" loud enough that the cholo listening to that music in his car that's nothing but bass heard me. Then of course, an officer asks me what the problem is. My reply? Before the filter could catch up I said "I just realized I'm going to have to become a drug dealer to make a living."
I'm not really happy with the job market right now.
Part 1: Network Analyst
I had gone in for an interview with a bank who had taken out an ad in the paper for "Network Analyst". Now, I had already gathered the required information about this job. Yes, I would be working with computers. Doing what? The lady on the other line didn't know, but I would be informed during the interview.
I pieced together that since the title was "Network Analyst" and that I'd be working with computers, that it would really be what it was advertised to be. And since they were only taking those who were least experienced, I thought I was a shoo in. I went in for my little interview and was finally asked about my qualifications. I informed the guy I had no formal education on computers, that I had learned everything myself and was looking to put what I knew to use. I also told this man that I had built my computer, did the internet connection setup and such for my house and another private business, and consistently ran troubleshooting on mine, my families, and the same private businesses systems and that I felt that I was maybe just a little above their needs as far as experience, but that I really wanted to work there.
The man sat there politely, listening to my every word, asked questions. Then said 'Well, that's amazing that you can do all that, but you know that as our network analyst, you'd be redirecting the phone calls made to this building. Do you think you could do that?'
I stood and left the room.
Part 2: Hall Passes
The next place I went to was a little more oriented towards what their ad said in the paper than the first place. I would definitely be working on computers doing their troubleshooting and such. Basically, I would be an on-site tech. As we were nearing the part of the interview where she (the boss) was telling me about what my job would entail, pay, benefits, etc. She told me that I would need to get my supervisors permission to use the restroom as being the tech, I would need someone to cover for me for when I took care of my business. I looked at her for a second and repeated the permission statement back to her. She affirmed it, I would need to ask to take a piss.
I politely told her that I wasn't in school anymore and that if I needed to use the facilities that I would go at an appropriate time and that I WOULD NOT ask permission to relieve myself. Then I bid her a good day.
Part 3: Notice a trend here?
I reluctantly went back to my workforce commission to see if they could possibly find something for me. Of course, there was plenty of job openings for a person without a degree or any decent amount of work experience. I could be a loader at Fed-Ex. Or I could be a loader at Ab-Tex beverage. Or I could be a loader for a furniture store. Or I could work at certain retail chains that have already either fired, or asked me to quit. Or I could sling burgers at the golden arches.
Reluctantly I asked if any of those jobs were full time. Imagine my surprise when I found out that NONE of them were full time, and half of them wanted me to go through a temp agency. I thanked the workforce commission for wasting my time again (There's some post around here somewhere about them) and left.
Part 4: The final straw
I went to the City as they generally have job postings and thought I could get one there mopping up monkey poo at the zoo or something. Nope. All driving jobs. And all require a license grade higher than mine. And none of them were full time either. Even the CITY is trying to get out of benefits. So, in my infinite patience and wisdom, I leave the office, turn the corner and say the word "fuck" loud enough that the cholo listening to that music in his car that's nothing but bass heard me. Then of course, an officer asks me what the problem is. My reply? Before the filter could catch up I said "I just realized I'm going to have to become a drug dealer to make a living."
I'm not really happy with the job market right now.
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